Super General Advice (the thread for advice without making a thread)

I have no idea but boy am I fascinated.

 

Something encrypted maybe?? Which still does no good. I'd vote call it spam and do nothing with it.

 

it looks very weird. I'll try to remember to get to a library computer and open it because I am curious, even though it is probably just spam.

 

my bff (who i'm trying to get an apartment with!) just found out that her ex-wife is in a dispute with their old landlords. something about ex-wife withholding rent over things on the property not getting fixed. the entire thing started after bff and her wife were separated, and bff wasn't even living in the state anymore... but, her name was on the lease. and so now background checks are coming back stating that she owes over $3000 in back rent. they're divorced now, and like I said, she wasn't even in the state when the dispute started, so I feel like... surely there must be something that can be done to clear this up? get her name taken off that debt somehow? but i have no idea where or how one would address that sort of thing. does anyone have any idea where to even start?

(i'm currently real real salty at the ex-wife because we got denied a super affordable place in my dream neighborhood because of this bullshit, ugh.)

 

maybe try r/legaladvice? I've seen questions like this on there several times.

 

Here's a classic "am I the asshole?" For y'all, I think it doesn't quite fit here but I am looking for advice and not buttpats on this:

So two of my friends got a full-time, exhausting job and it's severely eaten into their evening energy, specifically our weekly DND sessions. They arrive at 500 and leave at 730, not because time restrictions but because they're tired. We've been trying to start a new session and their characters aren't even set up all the way, but I can't really fully blame them because not only is the session new, the actual game is near new to us as well. The 500 start time is also because they pick me up on the way to the game store we play at so I'm also a hindrance to an earlier time, and we get dinner too so no one's ready to go til around 600. At this point I kinda want to ask them not to play but it's not their fault for being tired. We even moved the day so they don't have to work the next day, but they'll still be leaving at 730 most nights because they're exhausted. What should I do? This is the only time I see them anymore now that everyone has drastically different schedules, and Ive been playing with them for years. It won't be the same without them but we can't get started with them in this situation

 

oof big relate. my advice would be to either use a system that everyone is already familiar with so there's less mental investment into learning a new thing, as well as leaning towards more heavily GM'd content as opposed to more freeform GMless games where the GM can be someone with more mental energy at the moment...also, potentially setting up characters and encounters such that you could theoretically continue playing a little longer even after they leave and then fill them in over dinner the next time you play (i.e. one of their characters can be a thief who frequently slips out to do their own stealing and therefore narratively misses some stuff, or something similar)

 

also it sucks but cutting back weekly sessions to bi-weekly does help also, if everyone is okay with it, that's what my tabletop groups have had to do and it's definitely improved energy levels

 

It might also be worth looking through David Prokopetz's tabletop rpg recommendations tag for game systems that are lighter on prep than DnD. He answers a lot of asks from people who are looking for systems for specific needs- for instance, searching "one-shots" immediately brought up multiple posts with lists of recs for systems light enough to pick up and go for a single-session game (1, 2).

 

Does anyone know any good education resources about Trans Stuff 101 for well-meaning but clueless cis people? The target audience in this case is a middle school teacher with a bunch of genderfluid students.

 

Scarleteen?

 

does anyone know a brand of toothpaste that's like sensodyne except it doesn't slowly strip layers of skin off the inside of your mouth? I used it for a couple weeks and it definitely helped my teeth but my tongue was starting to actually blister. I don't understand why they have to use so much menthol or whatever it is.

 

Tw: mental health, chronic pain, possible alcoholism

How do I tell if I'm an alcoholic?

Spoiler: Details

I've tried doing online tests, but most of them are like 'do you pick booze over socialising/running errands?' and I'm just like, dude, I'm a shut-in. I rarely leave the house and I haven't run an errand without my mum in months. All my friends are online.

I've only seen my gf at all in the last four months and while she doesn't drink so I drink less around her, she also doesn't judge so if I'm in pain I don't hold back. It's not like I'm getting drunk all the time, I don't even feel the effects any more except for the numbness I so desperately need.

I drink because my hip hurts and my wrist hurts and my back hurts and there's only a certain amount of painkillers I'm allowed because of fears about destroying my internal organs. But like when you realise you've gone through a litre bottle of whiskey in three days and a bad day means you're drinking before lunchtime and sometimes first thing in the morning-

Gods, I don't know. Its just one more fucking thing, I guess. Any non-judgey advice would be welcome.

 

goddamnit, with my new medication I really need to make sure to take it at 2 PM sharp- any later and it'll impair my sleep worse than it does already. Since I kept sailing right past the time to take it, I set an alarm on my phone to remind me. AND YET. Two days running now I have had the alarm go off, and noticed it/ turned it off, and then still not taken the medication despite it sitting squarely in front of me and not realizing till several hours later, much too late, so I have to skip that dose.

I don't know what else I can do if I can somehow forget to take the medications in the microseconds between the alarm telling me to take it, and going back to what I was doing! Anyone got any life hacks?

 

Don't turn off the alarm until after you take the meds, maybe?

And walrus I think that might qualify as alcoholism on a medical level if nothing else, i remember reading that the threshold for medically significant alcoholism is a lot lower than most people think

 

if the alarm is on your phone, go buy a cheap alarm clock and use that instead? keep the meds next to it. ive stopped forgetting to turn off my oven ever since I got a physical oven timer.

 

I also recommend putting the alarm clock on the opposite side of the room from where you usually are, so you have to physically get up to turn it off and you can't do it absentmindedly.

 

Witnessed, because I have the exact same pill problem and it's part of why I don't want to go on anything permanently- I'm so, so bad at taking it correctly and I have absolutely fucked up my mood multiple times by only taking my ssri approximately 50% of the time for months u:

that said, one thing that helps me slightly is making sure I have everything I need to take the pill within arms reach- I can't swallow pills with water, just food, so I keep a bag or raisins or similar nearby my pills so I don't have to get up in order to take them

 

the one thing that has kept me taking my meds and supplements at the same time is an automated pill dispenser. They're kind of spendy, but so, so worth it. The model I have holds 28 days' worth of daily pills, and it can be set up to dispense up to four times daily -- obviously it holds fewer days of meds then, since it has limited compartments. At your programmed time the carousel rotates and it beeps loudly (four types of audible alarm) and flashes a red light for a solid 30 minutes, and won't switch off until you actually tip up the device to fetch the meds. It's extremely, irritatingly effective at making me take meds. I have tried every other type of alarm set up and this is the only one which has consistently worked for longer than a few days.

Cons: it's huge, and expensive, and needs batteries. It still needs set up once every 28 days. And it is not at all easy to open the top to access the carousel - which of course is a good thing too, if you're using it for someone very elderly who might overdose, or have curious children or pets around.

 

Spoiler: for spoiler

my first instinct is 'yes' based on the amount and frequency. Actually getting 'drunk' is a lot less of a marker than people actually think.

Also if you don't feel the effects anymore, that indicates to me that your body and brain are getting used to it, which is another marker of acoholism.

The next part is not meant to be judgemental, but I feel compellted to spell it out anyways: that amount/frequency of alcohol is no kinder to your organs than painkiller, just in different ways. Especially when combined with painkillers. I do not have much advice beyond 'bring this up with whoever you get those painpills from, they're clearly not sufficient if you're self-medicating like this' and if the main impetus to drink is 'I'm in fucking pain all the time' something needs to be done about the pain first before tackling the other issues.