shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

I'm not moping. I literally joined the dorito demon and Clarissa thinks I'm being gross to the skeleton. And my player is planning on having me fail a wish 'cause my feelings are too conflicted and I don't entirely wanna grant it. I mean, what makes you think I don't have stuff to be upset about?

 

Haven't we already covered the demon bit? Several times by now, in fact? And waah, you got called on your shit and need to lay off a bit. Are you going to have a crisis of worth every time you make the smallest mistake? Congrats! Your fallible! Just like everyone else!

 

Well, yes... but it was a pretty major thing.

*sighs* It wasn't that small a mistake. I was pressuring him into boning me. I didn't mean to but, well, I was.

 

I've been participating in my clan's genocide of the rest of my species since I got my first Marks. It took me a century and a half to realize it was fucked up. Talk to me again about siding with the wrong team?

You were pushing the idea. At a later date. You brought it up too soon. [As much sarcasm as you can fit into a single sentence] Yes, clearly you are irredeemable and there is no hope. [/sarcasm]

 

Er... wow... that escalated quickly.

*laughs at the sarcasm and then sighs* You sure it was just that?

 

You've already been forgiven. I'm still waiting on mine- if I ever can be. You were tricked and fixed what you fucked up when you were. It's over, it's done. You understand why I might be a mite frustrated?

If you're so afraid then ask him later when you're not on a rescue mission and things have calmed down. After apologizing, which will probably help.

 

*sighs* I guess I do, now. But really, I have been forgiven?

And yeah, I suppose I should. If he even wants to speak to me...

 

How many people have told you that you are? They freed you. They stopped watching you like you might be a spy. They let you out into the city to find Sans after he reported seeing Julissa. How hard would it be for you to jump ship and go back, if you found her? And they took that risk. Yeah, I'd say you're forgiven.

It's Papyrus. If you haven't got the skeleton figured out by now you're... amazingly dense. He'd forgive his own killer on his last breath. I doubt he's going to cut you out of his life forever just because you were moving too fast.

 

*grins blissfully* I sure hope you're right. It just sounds too good to believe, that's all.

 

You ever get too much in your head look at the facts. Not to say they won't steer you wrong when you don't have all of them, but it's a lot easier to kick the guilt in the ass when you have hard evidence against it.

 

*grins* It sure is. Thanks.

 

Spoiler: Undertale spoilers.

I'VE SEEN THE HUMAN TRAVEL THROUGH THE WORLD MURDERING EVERYONE.

I'VE SEEN MY OWN DEATH MORE TIMES THAN I CARE TO MENTION!

...AND MOIRA IS UNDERSTATING IT. FORGIVENESS?

TO MY LAST BREATH, I ENCOURAGE MY MURDERER TO BE A BETTER PERSON, AND REMIND THEM THAT I STILL BELIEVE IN THEM!

 

*smiles softly* So... are you saying you forgive me, then, Pap?

I didn't murder you, what I did was different, but yeah...

 

I DO.

BUT IS THAT THE QUESTION YOU SHOULD BE ASKING?

YOU CAN'T BASE YOUR SELF WORTH IN WHETHER OR NOT I FORGIVE YOU!

YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF, TOO. REALLY FORGIVE YOURSELF. TO TRY TO BE A GOOD PERSON, AND KEEP TRYING TO.

THERE'S NO SHORTCUTS BUT HARD WORK!!!

 

*sighs* I don't know if I can. That thing Clarissa suggested I was doing, well, it hits very close to home for me... Her thinking I'd do it, that hurts.

 

I have a rule about demons, which is that when demons make a point of telling me how bad demons are, I believe they are at least that bad.

And also when they don't.

"I'm a muse! I'm an oracle! Every hundred years I choose the brightest mind! I just want to be your friend! I want to help you!"

Bullshit, every word.

Fool me once, shame on you. You know the rest of it.

 

I AM NOT A DEMON, I AM [sound like a car crash].

BUT I LIKE THIS ONE. HE IS SMARTER THAN THE REST.

 

You seem to think nobody wants to bone you, but this is because:

1) I'm what Mabel tells me is now called "demisexual" which generally means that I realize I want to have sex with someone only after I have come to know them very well, and you hit on me within minutes of meeting me. When strangers make passes at me, I am usually either oblivious or horrified. Let's also not forget the part where I've been married for over 20 years to Valiska and have no desire to stray. Just because nobody in Dimension 46'\ hadn't seen me in thirty years didn't mean I spent the whole time sitting in one place staring into my navel.
2) If Sev is sexual, nobody has any idea what he wants. He might be grey like my Lise in which case we will all know when he meets the right person. Or he might just not care.
3) Fairlight is also very, very married.
4) The last time you had sex it was a with a vat-grown clone of limited intelligence whose purpose in life is to sing vapid songs for little girls of all ages and genders. They're nice boys but they're not very bright. Can't have been particularly satisfying.
5) You're hitting on a skeleton. Xeno is a wonderful thing and two or more sapient beings can and will find a way to please each other if they are motivated enough, but the vast majority of people do prefer their own species, and also, do you even know if skeletons reproduce sexually? Because I haven't had enough time lately to sit and ask people nosy questions so I can write the answers down in my current journal lately. People keep trying to break down the barriers between universes, kidnap my relatives, create cheap knockoffs of my artificery and raise hell with it, and having nervous breakdowns. Do you know how long it's been since I got to do any serious research?

But I digress.

I used to do more than my share of whining about how girls wouldn't talk to me. (There are few things as embarrassing as having to explain these things to your thirteen year old nephew who wants to know why you felt the need to write about it in a journal that was not supposed to have been about your miserable love life.) It was exactly as successful as your current habit of whining that nobody wants to fuck you, but at least you haven't committed it to posterity yet.

1) When you say that members of X group are ignoring you, you're almost always ignoring members of X group yourself. For instance, only attempting to talk to girls when they are all dressed up at parties is not a good strategy. Talking to the singular girl who took advanced physics as if I were aware that she actually was a girl would probably have been a better strategy.

2) When you constantly complain that nobody is interested in you, the Just World Fallacy comes into play and people second-guess any attraction they may feel because the vast majority of people do not want to be with someone that nobody else seems to want.

3) Other people who are not getting laid have no sympathy for you not getting laid. People who are getting laid don't care and are not going to have sex with you anyway.

4) Given that the people I dated before I met Valiska go from "says it with giant robots when he gets pissed off" to "started an apocalypse to throw his friends a frat party" on the crazy scale, I may have no room to talk, but it appears to me that by consistently picking inappropriate targets, you are potentially displaying some ambivalence about the whole thing.

5) Adolescent trolls are under an immense amount of pressure to hook up sexually. Just because one of them teases you about potentially catching hearts or spades from someone after a bit of silly banter in the kitchen does not actually mean that you've consulted a matchmaker who's found your bashert.

6) My brother is more subtle than you!!!!!!!

 

Having fallen under the spell of the dorito demon does not make you special.

Other people who have fallen under the spell of the dorito demon include:

1) myself
2) my 13 year old nephew (briefly, sadly, the password to that laptop was Stanford)
3) Sunshine
4) Jez
5) an entire prehistoric Amerindian tribe
6) some aliens
7) my 13 year old niece (who helped me create the most terrifying dungeon in the history of ever as long as I promised to do all the math)
8) Valiska's 14 year old niece

...shall I go on?

Everyone was pissed off at you not because you fell under the spell of the dorito demon but rather because you were proud of yourself for having done so. I'd be more sympathetic if I hadn't already told you what happened to me before you met the dorito demon. When other people tell you stories about incredibly stupid things they have done, don't emulate them.

 

@the author speaks ... Wow... did I just get an essay on why my love life sucks? And why I should shut up about Mr. Evil Triangle?

Jesus.

And well, uh, I can see a few valid points in there, yeah?

I get the demi thing, the 'what even is Sev?' thing, the married thing, the vat clone thing (though I did enjoy the sex) and the xeno thing.

But I'm not whining about nobody wanting to fuck me. I may be brooding but I've not said any of this out loud. Not in the Tango, anyway. In here, yeah, since it's basically free-for-all but i've been pretty quiet about that there, except for when other people brought it up, I think.

And now, I wanna know, who would you think is my bashert, then, if you know so much about this? Give me an essay on that, please!