Kintsugi Plays Dragon Age: Inquisition (There Are No Therapists)

At long last, we're where we're supposed to be!

I am the Inquisition. Apparently.

Suddenly, there's LOTS to ask about!

>Investigate >Templars

Or who look at them funny, apparently. Or seem like they might possibly think about looking at them funny, maybe, at some point in the future.

>Investigate >Mages

What does "apostate" even mean anymore. This is going to be more "we're the chantry but not the chantry" stuff, isn't it?

 

>Investigate >Cold

Speaking of warmth- Solas, have you been standing on that campfire this whole time?

>Investigate >Starvation

Already on that, I think.

 

>Investigate >Other

>Investigate >Horsies

That... may take a while.

 

>Investigate >Suspiciously Shitty Bandits

Or... something.

And now we'll finally choose a quest to pursue!

I haven't included things like ram-hunting, rift-closing, or the geological survey, since those seem like "as you find them"-type quests.

(actually go find the thing he was talking about, since as I mentioned we're in the Hinterlands)



(Oh yeah, I found this on a pre-existing corpse and forgot to cap it.)



>_?

 

let's get horsies
i like horsies

 

I think we should save that refugee bc I KNOW video game logic will prevent her from dying till I save her but I also know that in real life time is of the essence for these things.

 

The bandits are keeping supplies away so maybe we could get them after that? Also we'll probably need to use the east road to travel to places eventually.

 

Well, taking the likes as votes, it looks like we're going to start by picking up some asthma potion.

>do Shallow Breaths

Off we goooooo!

Actually there's one more little quest mark to pick up, it'll only take a second I swear

I mean technically we're even already on a quest to talk to this Whittle guy.

If this many refugees were in a village, all the blankets would have been pinched already.

Actually, I'm pretty sure Solas- ah, you mean the other kind of apostate. How come the humans can keep track of this stuff but not of what a Qunari is?

Well, whatever, we say goodbye to Whittle, now armed with a new quest to find five "apostate caches". There's got to be easier ways to get blankets but at least this is another one of those quests we'll be doing as we explore.

Off in the right direction this time, obviously these are "the hills". Definitely not the East Road, so the Suspiciously Shitty Bandits are probably unrelated.

The others make conversation while I dig up chunks of iron. There are LOTS of them up here. Haven't seen any onyx yet, though.

...I'd joke-rage, but I can't. I love this. I love these defenses of the importance of fiction. I love every last one of them. I LOVE EVERYBODY IN THIS BAR.

 

Okay, but where's the friggin onyx?

On second thought, who cares? I just scored some more poison facepaint in this random wilderness chest!

And it's better than what I've got! And it makes me look a little bit like Imperator Furiosa super badass!

Also gonna give Cass this sweet ring I found a little ways back. She doesn't technically know Shield Bash yet, but eh, details.

...these dogs look a bit familiar.

So does this farm. In the farmhouse there's an empty chest and an already-read note. So this is back the way I came.

FENNEC FOXES
I don't care that this is the wrong climate for them. I only care that THEY HAVE THOSE EARSES.

Might as well do some of that hunting since there's a ram right here, yeah?

Unfortunately...

...these assholes run FAST. Wren's attempts to stab them are tragically hilarious. So I switch to Solas for a bit.

Not only doesn't he have to be in melee, he can FREEZE them! We can take our time and the meat won't go bad! Egghead, you have just been volunteered to be the Inquisition's new elfrigerator.

 

Now, these rams are basically everywhere, so just killing them as we see them, we're well on our way to having this taken care of. But this ram. This fucking ram.

This ram runs way the hell off, past the ongoing combat we're clearly meant to help in, out of Solas' range and dragging our melee along behind it because it's the only thing targeted in combat right now, and the AI says to close in.

Cass yells about apostates, but does she stop to do anything about it? No! Not when there's a fucking sheep to chase.

The random Inquisition scout we've just zoomed past congratulates us, apparently not realizing that, were this a video LP, I would be playing the Benny Hill music over this part. Note also that we've zoomed right past a quest mark, so we'll need to backtrack once we've finally murdered this asshole.

Also a few more assholes, because the ram seems to have led us right into a small band of templars. Sheep are not supposed to set fucking traps. This is a demon sheep. I can't feed this sheep to the people, who knows what would happen?

 

We finally kill the fucking devilsheep, which at least has the decency to drop some leather as well as the meat- not all of them do. Then we finish off the templars.

You know, statements like that sound much cooler when you wait for other people to say them.

The next ram doesn't lead us on nearly as much of a chase, but it does run in an unfortunate direction.

Look at the size of those bones. Look at that dead... probably a mage, I think. This cave screams "come for the mutton, stay for the mortal peril". But we killed the thing right at the cave mouth, and we're not going further in until we inevitably find a quest that requires us to.

Amusingly, Solas' combat dialogue of "Enough!" triggered right as we killed our final ram. That's right, egghead, now we have enough. Just be sure to keep it cold.

Heading back to the missed quest mark, we make much better time now that we're not stopping to slaughter everything with horns that isn't me.

You smelt it you dealt it, Varric.

Or do templars just smell really bad? I mean, they never seem to take off their armor, but in all fairness, neither do we...

They're gonna start smelling a lot worse soon, though!

 

We find the quest on a letter taken from the apostate who died in that fight we zoomed past:

This would be much more enlightening if I knew where the hell the Witchwood was.

...it's elfroot, Wren, I know you've seen it before... jk, I know what she's talking about.

It's an "astrarium", because "star globe" doesn't sound fancy enough. There's a codex nearby that explains that these are old Tevinter and used to sort of... cipher the location of some kind of hidden thing with astronomy? I think?

Point is, it glows real pretty.

And then provides a little connect-the-dots minigame.

Pretty simplistic, but I'm sure there are more to find that will be trickier.

Waaaaait. That's Solas who said that. Is this a weird magitek thing that he doesn't know about?

We'll find out after we get the potion, mmkay?
(Somewhere in here I make an ill-advised jump down and break both my legs lose like half my HP at once.)

 

Further along the path, another quest mark! And it's... someone literally called "Worried Scout"!

>A scout is missing?

Why doesn't the Inquisition use the buddy system?
Anyway, we say goodbye and see that the quest is called...

Huh.

A nearby vantage point shows me a rift not far off. I should probably do something about that.

But asthma first! Also, broken pieces of statues which themselves are several times my own size are AWESOME.

This is one of the key locations for a quest called "Holding the Hinterlands", where we establish more camps to further our influence. Sure! Just a bit of housekeeping first...

 

To my dismay, I find...

...that a more recently acquired piece of armor is much better for Varric, not only in armor rating but in stats, and does not look nearly as cool as the outfit he came with. Oh well. Time to make camp!

...that was quick!

We're clearly running a very efficient Inquisition here!

If our requisitions officer likes to occasionally bury herself up to her nipples in the ground, who are we to judge, what with how quickly she gets shit done?

Trying unsuccessfully to jump up to see what that pillar of light is.

It's a ghost banner! For what I'm guessing is one of the apostate caches!

And we have stolen it through the cunning use of flags.

 

I kind of think anyone close enough to see that signpost will already be close enough to spot the cache, but whatever. We're discovering places.

We're meeting interesting new people.

We're stabbing the shit out of them.

And we're stealing their shit. Turnabout's fair play- there's a dead mage over by that fire, this clearly wasn't a templar camp originally.

Off to find that questmark!

That isn't disturbing at all. We're really close to where the cult must be, btw.

She believes right, and the little scroll thingy is a suicide note, written in very... familiar... terms to one Ellendra. Guess she wasn't just there for flavor. The quest is to bring her her phylactery, which this guy had on him. A tracking device made of your girlfriend's blood is such a romantic token, isn't it?

 

Offerings of tomato, made to the Great Wooden Ribcage.

Goddammit, Solas! Stop being me!

Also, great shot of my new vitaar here.

 

We're almost there!

That's gotta be where the cult is.

Yup. Let's see what this Speaker has to say.

Also the mysterious glowy woman who gave me powers, don't forget her.

>_?

 

>3

 

Update for you guys- I've had the next part recorded for a while now, but capping and posting aren't happening right now because I'm dealing with a massive brainweasel attack. I don't know how long it'll take to deal with but I do fully intend to come back to this eventually.

Letting you guys know so you won't wonder, and also so hopefully my brain can STFU with its "but you're not doing the things you said you'd do!" shame.

 

@OnnaStik Take as much time as you need to feel better again! In the meantime, let me give you advice I wish I'd been given this early in Inquisition: don't do requisition quests. They give you +1 power each but I swear you'll be DROWNING in power before the game is done even if you don't complete all the maps (in fact, I wasn't quite able to finish every single quest in ANY map in Inquisition and I didn't step foot in one of them at all, as well as only doing I think 6 or 7 requisition quests, and I ended the game with 116 power) and crafting resources are too valuable for that!