1. ND/autistic. 2. I don't lie super often, but when I do it's usually about having finished (or, sometimes, having simply started) tasks or homework, in order to avoid the Parental Disapproval. (I don't think I'm very good at lying beyond simple yes/no answers, though.) 3. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and guilty. 4. Telling a falsehood intended to be taken as true.
1) I'm diagnosed ADD, and seebs-diagnosed autistic 2) I am capable of lying, and have done so, but I tend to say the truth, usually because thinking up lies is difficult for me. I tend to lie when I want to cover for myself or someone else, or when someone wants to know stuff that ain't their business. I like saying the truth because when I do end up lying, people either believe me, or are more inclined to forgive me if they figure out I've lied to them. And it's less effort to just say the truth. I have since learned some socially acceptable lies, like that when someone asks "How're you doing", that they're not expecting a real answer (unless they're friends/family), but "Good", regardless of whether that's actually true. 3) How I feel depends on the scope of the lie. If I do not care about you, I have little qualms, but I dislike lying to people I know well (there's one exception to that, and considering that persons views on some topics, I feel absolutely no qualms about lying to them about said topics because they do not believe my experiences are valid, and do not accept my descriptions of them. So, yeah, that person has lost truthfulness privileges in that regard). Bigger lies are trickier than smaller lies, because then I have to keep more variables straight. New lies make me more nervous than lies I have told more often. When I assume a role, and tell no one I have assumed that role, and say something that is factual truth for that role but an untruth for me, it does not feel like I'm lying, and I need less preparation. I tend not to feel bad about lying to someone, because if I do I tend to have really, really good reasons to do so. Unless I really did not want to lie to that person, I won't feel bad about it. 4) A deliberate telling of an untruth with the intent to have it taken seriously. Omissions are mean, but perfectly valid, as are misleading statements, and factually true statements said in a sarcastic tone of voice. Regarding an assumed role, it'd only be that I lied about who I was, but not anything else.
1) For reference, do you consider yourself NT, ND, or something else? Not diagnosed with anything. Some of the things people say about autism and ADHD sound familiar, but I don't know. 2) Do you ever lie? Under what circumstances? Why or why not? I do occasionally, uh ... once a year, maybe? The two particular instances I can think of, I lied once to protect myself and once to protect a sibling - not from actual physical harm, but from a prying, judgy relative with a bad nagging habit. I think that lying can be a sin, but I don't think it always is, so I think it's up to each individual person to decide if their particular situation justifies lying. I prefer not to outright lie, though I'm okay with deception/obfuscation/re-direction in general. 3)How does it feel when/if you do lie? Resentful of the person/people who put me in a situation where I felt that I needed to. Sometimes guilty after the fact, because once I'm out of the situation I may look back and decide that it wasn't dire enough to justify lying and I should have just told the truth if I couldn't find a non-lying exit strategy. NINJA EDIT! 4) How do you define lying? Telling an untruth with intent to deceive. I don't always tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, but that doesn't mean I'm lying. For example, when telling a funny story of a real event, I edit a lot to make it more concise or more humourous. I don't consider this to be lying; it's part of storytelling to make the stories better when you're telling them. I have, however, been known to say that an author of a work of fiction is "lying" because I feel like they're pushing a massively flawed worldview through their story. I don't mind when people write about things that didn't happen, but I mind a lot when people write things happening in a way that things don't happen. This bothers me especially when the worldview being pushed is "people are basically animals, but evil!" or "only bad and awful things are real".
1) For reference, do you consider yourself NT, ND, or something else? NT with probable trauma-induced brainweird. 2) Do you ever lie? Under what circumstances? Why or why not? Yep. Reflexively, mostly, to cover my ass from threats real and imaginary-- I must always have Done The Requested Thing, and always be Productive, otherwise I am Wasting Everyone's Time and am a Horrible Person. 3)How does it feel when/if you do lie? Not of import? Yes, okay, lie has been told, either do something to make it look enough like the truth you won't get in trouble or move on with life. 4) How do you define lying? Intentionally saying a thing that is not true, with intent to deceive (as opposed to intent to amuse. "I am the most graceful," said sarcastically to friend(s) after recovering from tripping over my own feet, is untrue but not a lie).
1) "Possibly autistic" has become a meme - and I've had several people here tell me "yeah that sounds pretty autistic", but my dad is schyzotypal (which has a lot of behavioral overlap with autism) and I was raised by him, so lots of my spergy stuff might originate from that rather than me, personally, being a sperg? 2) Very rarely. I'm painfully truthful (though I try not to be rude or too blunt) most of the time. Nowadays, lying requires preparation - I can't wing it, it's too uncomfortable and it shows. People usuaklly don't notice, because I'm a good actor, but MY discomfort is often large enough that I break and tell the truth on purpose. But back when I still lived with my abuser, surprise surprise, I used to have a very sharp tongue for convincing lies. Nowadays, honestly, almost nothing seems worth lying for. The exception is to gain the sympathies of people who are going to give me orders or have power over me. For example, some months ago I lied to my teaching internship supervisor that I really enjoyed teaching High School, when in truth I hate doing it. But I couldn't just say "I hate teaching, let me teach here for a few months". And I only do it in response to direct questions. If she hadn't asked me, I would simply have skirted over the topic "how much do I enjoy teaching". Another instance of acceptable lying is acting happier, more grateful or more surprised than I am by a kind gesture - like, say, a friend who got me a really ugly gift. One memorable time, I saw this amazing set of watercolors I wanted, and my birthday was coming up in a month. I called up a friend, told him he should contact everyone who was invited to my birthday party and set up a donation drive to get me the set as a surprise. When I got it, I played the part of "this is SUCH a surprise oh my GOD this is AMAZING I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!" so well that even my moirail (who wasn't in on the plan) didn't realize I knew until I told him, after all other guests had left. 3) As I said above, trying to lie on the spot just doesn't work, not because it's not convincing to others, but because it makes me too uncomfortable and paranoid. However, if I prepare a bit? Honestly it feels exactly the same as telling the truth. Feigning surprise in the above example didn't feel any different than expressing REAL surprise, and it sure didn't look any different. I think it's because even when I have real emotions I'm so used to acting those out for the benefit of other people, so to them I look convincingly surprised, or happy, or upset or whatever. *whispers "possibly autistic" into the void* 4) Deliberately saying something you know to be untrue. Doesn't matter if it's harmful or not, especially since it's not up to you to decide. Ommissions aren't lies. Partial truths aren't lies. Platitudes like "oh it's gonna be OK" don't count because... you don't KNOW that it isn't, even if you might be feeling it won't. And yet, stuff like "this paper must be at least 10 pages long" when you're actually willing to consider 9-page-papers does count; as does saying "all workers must arrive at 8am sharp" when in reality there's no problem with arriving at 8:05. College used to constantly frustrate me because in my conception most of my professors were constantly lying. I still think they're lying, I just learned to be aware from the start that they are; so now I can shrug off what they phrase as highly specific demands and go "oh, that's not really true, it's not real". *whispers "possibly autistic" into the void; the void whispers back "YEAH MAYBE"*
Oh my lord yes this x100000000. "Are you really happy? You don't look happy. How come you're mad???" Uuuurgh.
Apparently if I really relax my face I get really frowny. So when I'm very sleepy I tend to look furious. And when I'm furious I just look like a mildly miffed blank canvas, which, in turn, makes me look sleepy. It's pretty funny.
/raises hand for the "look grumpy when tired" club I also apparently look mad when I'm distracted/can't focus.
oooh, interesting topic! okay lemme think. 1) For reference, do you consider yourself NT, ND, or something else? probably autistic? a lot of different people think so. also lots of various brainweird. 2) Do you ever lie? Under what circumstances? Why or why not? i do lie, but only if i'm like 95% sure i can get away with it. i'm horrible at big lies and when someone asks me something like "if my mom asks don't tell her i wasn't actually at a friend's last night" if their mom asks, even if i come up with something believable beforehand i usually end up spilling the beans anyways. and it's even worse because there's this huge pause before i say it and it usually just makes them pissed at me because they KNOW i was trying to come up with something other than the truth. i have gotten fairly good at redirection, distraction, and just plain leaving out details because of this instead of outright untruth so i guess i lie fairly frequently for convenience if lies of omission count as lying to you. 3)How does it feel when/if you do lie? it depends. if i'm lying to protect someone else i feel afraid for them and guilty i'm the weak link that's gonna get them caught, unless they actually did something horrible then screw them for putting me in that situation. i usually can't outright lie to protect myself from a mistake but sometimes i panic and try to pass the blame onto someone else who could have feasibly been responsible even if they weren't (i did this way more as a kid but i've done it a few times as an adult when i fucked up royally and i always regret it immensely and try to correct it later). if it's something little like " i bought these three types of chips, would you like some?" when in reality i bought four types but don't want to offer my favorite kind, then i usually don't feel too bad. my parents and grandma were both very "lying is wrong" and "if you lie make sure you don't get caught" at the same time so i have a very mixed relationship with lying. 4) How do you define lying? telling an untruth while knowing it's not the truth, and purposefully omitting relevant information from something. i don't think you're lying if you think it's the truth. or really, i'm kind of undecided on the omission thing? it's kind of conflicting. on one hand, technically the words said aren't untrue, but if for example you take one line of something out of context and use it to prove an argument when in context it actually proves the opposite, you're lying imo. so i don't know.
i actually do this too, but i consider it a joke? other people tend to end up laughing when i do it so...
1) For reference, do you consider yourself NT, ND, or something else? ND. Not diagnosed autistic but when I mentioned it to my therapist, she said it seemed worth checking out and gave me a phone number of a testing center, so... 2) Do you ever lie? Under what circumstances? Why or why not? I lie quite a lot. Reasons: I am embarrassed about the truth, I don't want to discuss my actual feelings on a topic with the person in question, it seems like it will make a socially difficult situation easier. I lie more often to family, classmates and coworkers than to close friends. People where I need to interact with them and have those interactions remain pleasant more than I need to be honest. 3)How does it feel when/if you do lie? Uncomfortable. I only do it when not doing it would be more uncomfortable. I often plan out my lies in advance if I know I'm going to lie about something, and practice them the same way I do scripts for difficult phone calls. As a child, I consciously taught myself to lie the same way I taught myself to make and read facial expressions. NINJA EDIT! 4) How do you define lying? Deliberately stating something that I know or believe to be false, in such a way as to make it seem sincere. Obscuring or talking around the truth feels similarly uncomfortable to me, though. A small note here on my personal history: my childhood systematically convinced me that there were circumstances in which telling the truth would result in consequences so awful it was worth avoiding them, even if it involved doing something I thought was wrong. Oh, and I was so ashamed of this that I also got very good at pretending to my friends that I had a great relationship with my parents. All of that has had a pretty large influence on my attitude toward dishonesty.
Yeah, I only do the excess/irrelevant information thing for entertainment as well. Because if you do it too much, people stop believing anything you say, which is hilarious, but not necessarily helpful.
OOoooooh, I remembered a recent instance of Big Lies: I lied to my dad that I was gonna spend New Year's in the countryside with friends. I actually spent it with those friends, but in my own home. I knew that if he knew I was spending it in the city he'd insist I bring my friends to his house instead, except New Year's with him tends to be super depressing PLUS he had a date who was just a horrid pain in the ass and I went NOPE, BOUNDARIES. It was a way to avoid telling him "your company is a real downer for the New Year and I'd rather have some fun" and ALSO to avoid sharing information about my feelings which could then be used against me. It was uncomfortable, and I didn't like dealing with the secrecy, but the alternatives were either to really hurt my dad's feelings* or to have my boundaries trampled. * In a perfect world, "I'd rather hang out with other people today" would be a completely acceptable reason and everyone would be an adult about it and I wouldn't need to lie, but my dad has a specific cocktail of brainweird that makes him desperate for validation and makes him take this shit very personally, and then he acts like a dick.
