finding a feels moirail is kinda...difficult :/ like I could really benefit from a proper feels moirail, because I'm not often the type to attempt to break someone's nose, so I don't really need any other kind of moirail, but thanks to combination of me being shit at trusting people and me telling other people to come to me whenever they need help, I end up helping everyone and having no one to help me and get stuck in this situation where finding a feels moirail is really tough.
I have my moirail and a best friend from back home (I am currently at college). For me, moirallegiance is still romantic in a way. But definitely seconding the emotional support stuff that people have said so far. And maybe a little "no don't fight that person it's not worth it" My moirail and I sometimes pitch flirt at each other but we'd never be actually pitch. Plus she has her own deal in that quadrant xD I am ashen for the world, unfortunately. Probably comes from being a "fixer." xP I'm also a little pale for the world too, but in a different way than I am for my actual moirail, so it's okay. I also have like a clade in which we kind of pair off for moirails, but we all feelings jam together bc why not. No hearts or spades atm. Not sure how I would do with a kismesis, tbh.
I feel really lucky because both my moirails are the feels kind - I can talk to them when I'm down, and they can talk to me, and we've all been together long enough that we know when the other needs to jam and what to do to calm their tits afterwards. (The one I flip ash with is definitely the 'hauling-me-off-assholes' type as well, since she is twice my size and has quite literally picked me up and zen-hugged me out of a rage in the past. Me being 5'1 and extremely belligerent she's definitely the only person who's even ALLOWED to pick me up without getting my heel in their crotch or teeth in their arm when I'm like that XD) And yeah, @chaoticArbiter, I used to be a lot like that as well. It's taken two very good moirails for me to realise that offering help sometimes has to go after helping myself.
yeah, that's....something I'm starting to realize. and it's a difficult realization and kind of sucks, because I want to help, like, everyone. but I just don't have the resources to help everyone, and sometimes I don't even have the resources to help anyone but myself, and I gotta learn to reign it in.
I have one person who I'm kind of lopsided moirails with. She needs a lot of emotional support, and I do my best to provide but I'm beginning to realize that just do not have the emotional resources to do a good enough job. And also I have a really hard time being emotionally vulnerable with anyone, including my family (who I am more comfortable with than anyone else), so she doesn't ever get the opportunity to reciprocate. I'd really like a feels moirail but I don't know if that's going to happen anytime soon unless I can get this thing with my friendrail sorted :( I'd also love to have a kismesis who I can just argue with all the time. There was this dude back in high school who I shared a few classes with, including art and english, and we spent a lot of time arguing about religion - by which I mean I spent a lot of time debate-aggressing him (sometimes onesidedly...) about his religious beliefs. I would feel worse about it but he was the asshole type of christian, and also a fedora bro, and he was allergic to admitting he'd been out-argued. It was sooooo irritating, but also so much fun. I think he was a bit afraid of me at one point >:) I'd love to have something similar now, since debating like that on a regular basis makes me feel better the same way exercise can and also lets me vent some of the >FIGHT that builds up over time if I have to interact with people a lot.
I've been happily moirallied since 2011 with my beautiful moirail Kelvin. He's amazing. In circles that don't know homestuck, we call each other "my gay husband/my gay wife". We like to sing musical theatre songs together with him doing the "female" voice and me doing the male. I've also nicknamed him "my possum" after the Pastry Possum. We're very soothing presences for one another and... for me at least, I can say that whenever I'm around Kelvin I feel totally safe, emotionally speaking, to say and do whatever I want and to be myself. And I think he feels the same. Early last year he went through a really difficult situation and as soon as I hugged him he told me "of all the hugs, from all the people, I knew yours would be the one that would make me feel alright". When we're together we don't give each other ADVICE, we just really listen to each other's feelings. And sing showtunes. I love him so much <> <> <> <> <>
I have a matesprit and a moirail. I used to have a kismesis but we were brutally honest with each other enough that we both grew a lot as people, so I don't particularly need to hate them anymore. My matespritship involves a lot of mutual emotional support, but it's really different from what I get out of the moiralleigance. My moirail and I do a lot more helping each other regulate and manage emotions, beyond just supporting each other through them. There's also a certain amount of pointing out when emotions are not appropriate to situations, and helping each other not focus on negatives. We encouraged each other to get therapists until we both actually did it, and we talk about how that's going, which is great. Moirail and I tried being flush for a while several years ago, but, it really didn't work because how we feel isn't really... conducive to setting the kinds of boundaries matespritships need. Like, I can't stay mad at him. We lean heavily toward dropping conflicts rather than working through them. As moirails, that doesn't seem to foster resentment the same way it would with my matesprit.
i feel like i might make a pretty good feels moirail--and i would definitely really benefit from one--except that the few people i've managed to maintain friendships with for any length of time, while supportive and while i do my best to support them, all have a really hard time enforcing boundaries for themselves and letting me know when to back off. so i try to offer advice and emotional support as best i can, but i know i can also be pushy and invasive in trying to figure stuff out and really need to be told to back off sometimes and i don't feel like they're well equipped to take my advice with a grain of salt or lay out their own needs/boundaries in return; so i try to be extremely careful about how i phrase mine in case they immediately agree without question to something that's going to hurt them, when it was just the sort of rough draft of me trying to put whatever way i'm unhappy into words and figure out what to do. and i'm usually trying to keep in mind my best guesses as to their needs/boundaries, which obviously arent always correct at all. it's... honestly kind of exhausting. i could really use a moirail who could tell me when they need space.
I've got a moirail, we are a couple of schmoopy disasters. Paledate activities include cooking, Steven Universe, and panic attacks. Lately I need more physical contact and he needs more emotional support, but we switch a lot on that - I think the current pattern is because his insurance is fucked up and he's not in treatment right now. And we work together on a lot of creative projects - right now we've got a board game we're designing and (with a few more people including my moirail's matesprit) a Let's Play channel on YouTube. We'd probably be living together if it wasn't for some money drama that I don't want to talk about on an un-hidden forum. And in high school I had what was, in retrospect, a kismesis. He was constantly annoying and so infuriatingly hot and I had not the faintest inkling that there was a relationship model that could handle that, even though when we were alone there was always this weird feeling that we got along really well for people who hated each other. I wish I hadn't been so clueless, we might have gotten to do something more interesting than when he snuck up behind me in the cafeteria and smeared butter on my neck.
