Human, 25, Seeking Executive Function or Suitable Subsitute

Okay, first off, this is me doing two things that I kind of suck at, the first being asking for help (lifelong issue), and the second being doing... things... in general (more immediate issue), so it's likely to be disorganized as fuck. I apologize in advance for the mess- bear with me, and if I'm not making sense, feel please free to ask for clarification. I am going to be trying to make this readable before I post, but I will not be surprised if I miss weird spots. However, I like explaining things! I am just not so good at making things make sense on the first go-round currently. (Which is great, because I professionally explain complex procedures to people for a living right now.)

Anyway. ADD/ADHD/whatever the kids these days are calling it (undiagnosed, but symptoms line up well enough that I'm pretty comfortable with saying that this, at least, is pretty for-sure) has been eating my brain to the point that I have just enough executive function to get through work and manage basic you-have-to-do-this-to-live things well enough to keep from getting sick, and I am looking for suggestions, life hacks, tips, tricks, and/or other gimmicks that help any of ya'll with similar brainweirds manage, because I'm fed up. I'd been managing better in years previous, but I'm getting the impression that that was a by-product of living in Crisis Mode, which means that now that I'm in an objectively healthier situation, all of my drive is apparently taking this as a pass to roll over, look around, and say "eh, I don't feel like trying that hard", leaving me in my better situation and doing worse in spite of it.

So. What I'm mostly dealing with is massive brain fog/inability to focus (like, I can do random low-stakes stuff, like chores and things that don't require any mental presence, without much problem beyond the usual "lol what is time" type executive function fail, but can't do anything that I actually enjoy - writing, drawing, working on crafty things, you name it, it's not working). I'll have long stretches of time where I'll just stare off and, should someone ask me what I'm thinking, find that the answer is "nothing"- I just blank out, and then get mad at myself after the fact because I don't have much time to do stuff for fun, and I just wasted x amount of it spacing out. Between that and everything I do taking twice as long as it should for no reason that I can discern, I'm driving myself crazy. @Kit is also helping with prompting and trying to give reminders when I'm clearly drifting, but that is wearying for both of us (Kit doesn't like managing me, and I get resentful about Being Managed, since I should be able to Do It Myself), but for all that it doesn't help in the long run, I do do worse without the prompting.

So, fellow denizens of the shifting shores of Braine Wyrde, what do you do to A) combat brain fog and/or improve your ability to engage with your external environment B) keep track of what you're doing as you're doing it C) put necessary tasks in a not-moronic order so you can actually get them done D) recover creative energy ?

I'm already trying to make sure I cover the basics (get enough goddamn sleep, have simple routines set up so I can auto-pilot through tasks, have time set aside for the Fun Things), and I'm still not getting anywhere, so any additional advice would be much appreciated.

 

Leeching is entirely within the bounds of authorial intent, friend! Leech away! I do make to-do lists for things where I'm doing a Day Of [Blank], but for shorter things I'll find myself spending more time making the to-do list than if I'd just gotten started on what tasks I already had in mind, so it's been kind of counterproductive for me. >.> (this is a large part of my issue that I probably should have mentioned up there- a lot of the time saving organizational things seem to be things that I have to be organized to be able to make them work, so I just end up chasing my metaphorical tail.)

 

okay so there was this thing i did with my sister (also ADD). she had this homework to do, but it was too overwhelming all at once, so i picked up two assignments and compared them and asked; which is easier to do (noting that ONLY required tasks were here, no is homeowrk or sleep easier. only homework vs homework) she said which one, then i put the harder paper down, and picked up another one, continuing with the easier of the two i was comparing, until i had the "easy-ist assignement. put that face down on the table and contnued, till there was the stack from easiest to hardest when flipped over. then you can work your way down.

Just a strategy im throwing out there, doesnt work for everyone. (if it doesnt work casue easiest is a bad scale, other things can be used to measure)

 

A lot of this is ringing true for me, and now I'm starting to seriously wonder about whether treating the ADD like the nurse practitioner wanted to would've actually helped me. Oops. >_> Guess I'm bringing that up with my therapist on Tuesday.

So, I don't have any advice, because I too would like to leech off of this thread, but here's a problem I've noticed with myself: I can't seem to break things down into small enough tasks. I'll task things out and put them in a nice neat order, but it'll still be too much. Like, my computer desk from IKEA has been sitting in pieces in its unopened box laying against the wall ever since I bought it, which was an embarrassingly long time ago. So I stacked the tasks like this:

-put together computer desk
-set up computer on computer desk

And I can't seem to break it down any further than that! I can't picture, like, starting to put together the computer desk without doing the whole thing in one go, like, there's no natural stopping points, and I can't just force one in, I can't just, leave it unfinished! And I can't dredge up the motivation and willpower to actually put the damn thing together, and so it remains untouched.

Also very interested in the 'recovering creative energy' thing. I have some good ideas for writing, but once I'm in front of my laptop, all the energy just seems to drain away. How do you fix that? Should I force it? Should I just open up a blank document and make myself write anyway, even if it feels like I'm moving through jello? I've read that that's not a good thing to do, but I've also read that it's exactly what you should do. Blargh. D:

 

For computer desk thing (because I think I'm actually decent about the smaller-tasks thing, but feel free to ignore if still hitting "nope, still too big" buttons):
1) Open box
2) find assembly instructions (they're always fucking hiding)
2a) RTFM (Read The Fucking Manual)
3) locate pieces you will need first
4) make sure you have all of the connect-y bits
5) begin assembly
6) insert breaks as necessary during process
7) swear a lot (optional) and end up with fully assembled desk
8) profit?

And my brain's tapping out on the getting computer on desk part, except for "be v careful and don't drop anything because breakCRASHsadness v.v", but it's... kinda... 3am my time now, and I am going to go use the sleep.

Wrt the writing thing: I am regularly doing rp-style writing, and it seems to be helping to keep my hand in/ helps me actually get writing because I have a partner to bounce ideas off of, but I haven't worked on a separate project seriously in a really long time, and I'm trying to get *more* self-sufficient, not lean on my poor wife for another thing.

ok one last thing before I go use the sleep: @itadakimouse ur screenname is fantastic a+ bilingual punny things much apprve ok goodnight (^-^)/

 

Thanks for the help with the computer desk! The actual setting computer up part isn't scary or overwhelming to me at all, I feel like I could do it easily, which makes the computer desk part so much more frustrating. It's like a roadblock. I've put together stuff like the desk before, but that just means I know how hard it is. D:

(Thanks for complimenting the username! I took it from the funded commercials that Japan played a lot after the earthquake; it was about manners I think? Itadakimouse, arigatousagi, sayonalion, etc.)