What do you mean, "different people like different things"?

So I just finished reading a liveblog of Undertale, which is my favorite game of all time (shut up, it's about time someone took that title away from Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time), and the blogger seemed to have a ton of negative feelings toward the game.
And apparently it's not normal for that to just leave you in a very crappy mood? If someone hates on something I love, I'll probably remember that person's opinion on that thing for months, and always try to figure out why they don't like it, what part of the game did they not experience in the right way, what portion of their brain was acting wrong at what time? Because if I like it so much, then OBVIOUSLY other people should like it too, right? At least appreciate it.

And the thing is, sometimes I can understand the argument "it's good, just not for me" (I've had 2 incidents of Undertale and 3 of Homestuck with that argument) - I can perfectly understand it. What I can't understand is when one person says "I think X is good" and another says "I think X is just bad".

An example: food. I like chocolate cakes, I don't like strawberry cakes. But I can appreciate a good strawberry cake, and say "if I liked strawberries I'd love that cake". What I don't get is someone who just says "ugh, chocolate! I hate it! I hate that cake!"

That just makes me feel so weird, almost like they're insulting me personally.

Every time someone harshly criticizes something I really like, it's like a personal insult. Like the Star Wars prequels. Every time I see someone mention how much they suck, it makes me feel... I dunno, sad? Sad's the best word I can come up with for it.

I mean, is this normal? Because from what I heard it sounds like it's not even though it feels like it should be.

 

I'm not sure how normal it is, but you're not alone. I get the same way and end up with that scrunched up face Kermit the Frog gets when he's upset. Sometimes I grump a little bit out loud about it if I think the person in question blatantly misinterpreted the thing they're ragging on, or are getting it mad for not being what they expected, or something, but usually I have to make myself sit on my hands and tell myself it isn't about me, let them be wrong in their wrongness and go look at something pleasant, but damn it's hard.

 

I get this too. So far, my chosen coping mechanism is to just avoid stuff that I know will make me angry/sad - especially if I know it's irrational, and that someone else's opinion doesn't have to influence my feelings about something.

I don't necessarily avoid all criticism of anything I like, but if I'm knowingly going into reading/watching something I know I'll disagree with, I do have to consciously put myself into a mindset of objectivity. And sometimes I do have to reevaluate my thoughts on stuff, but that's okay. It's still hard, and it can still get me down, but it's getting easier to just ignore the people who criticize too harshly or unfairly. It's a skill, I think.

 

Hooo boy, same. It's not too bad most of the time, but if it's someone whose opinions I respect that really sends me into a tailspin, sometimes for days on end.

Bonus fun times when it's a serious criticism, because then hello guilt city!

 

Oh oh oh, and then I also feel bad about feeling bad, because it's not like the weight i put on someone's opinions is at all fair to them, because it's not like they asked for that admiration. wheeeeeee!

 

First of all YO EVILAS HI I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AN ACCOUNT :D (wasn't it you who recommended seebs to me in the first place? I know it was somebody from my Tumblr/MSPA Forasphere...)

Secondly, yeah, I feel exactly the same. It's usually when people talk about how they don't like Homestuck, and not even when they actually dislike the comic itself! I get kinda vaguely upset if, say, a liveblogger thinks that Dave is obnoxious, or say Nora's music reviews where she really didn't like the Felt. Small things. I just tend to either grit my teeth or avoid them.

It's less bad if it's just a critical review that I can somewhat agree with, but like, when somebody absolutely trashes something I love, I kinda feel like I've just been trashed a little as well. And indeed, in some cases that's the actual intention. :/

 

Funnily enough, it's the exact opposite for me: if someone's just totally trashing something I love then I can just dismiss it, especially if they're obviously being mean. It's the critical reviews that raise points I can actually see the legitimacy of that really hit me.

 

I'm a grab bag. Some instances of that make me outraged and personally affronted till I get aggressively uninterested because I'm tired of hearing how wrong they are.

Other times, nothing.

What will ALWAYS get to me though is actually absolute mindless enthrallment. If someone goes on about how amazing and perfect something is I'm kind of prone to go "uh huh. yep. cool. that's real fuckin' neato you done yet or?" mentally and then avoid Thing like the plague. It's why I don't watch current animes and wait ages to like new things usually. So I can bypass the breathless praise and obsession of new Thing Gospel and the hard hitting negatives out of nowhere bc ain't got time for that. When I've come around to seeing or reading or watching Thing and if I like it, I will comment on liking it. If I adored it, I will find my friends and scream with them happily. If I disliked it, nobody cares, it's already passed its heyday and I keep it to myself half the time.

8I;; it's. kind of annoying bc that means cheap merch is gone and fandom might be already dormant by the time I drag my ass along. I think it's a spite thing in second case.. reaction to first case is usually just spite of "SO YOU HATE THING I ADORE?? I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU HATE -ME TOO- HUH, CONSIDERING HOW MUCH I SEE MYSELF IN THING. IS THAT IT??" and needing to sit on my hands.

 

From my experience, the feeling is very much, "they hate the thing I like, therefore they would hate me". My own reactions aren't based in realistic expectations.

Story time: A webcomic artist I adore strongly dislikes Steven Universe* and I felt like... Would she be mad a fan of her work is also a fan of something she hates? Would she be sickened? And then I saw a friend of hers did a Steven Universe print and, hey, they kept being friends!! A nice lesson there for me that people can separate things from people.

 

This is a thing that a lot of people seem to share, yes. Part of it I think comes from overidentifying with your likes. Like your likes and dislikes are a big part of how you define yourself, and through that they in effect become your Self. It's personally a thing I feel a lot, though I seem to be ok at keeping my feelings in check. Because they don't hate me in particular. They hate the thing I like.

Though this has also led to the issue of sometimes I get so used to calling the things I like shit that I start to believe that I myself am shit. Or that no one likes the things I like and is willing to talk about them with me. Neither of which is true, but by gods do they feel true.

 

I get this to some extent. Most often I get pissy when someone mistakes objective quality for subjective like/dislike.

Like. You can easily say 'hey I don't like Eluveitie'. But saying 'Eluveitie is objectively a terrible band and they suck at music' pisses me off because you can recognise that something's technically good even if you dislike it. And so on.

 

I hate it because I am a godless heathen who disbelieves in the idea of objective quality where arts are concerned.

 

Yep, that was me. :D It's good to see you here!

Yeah, pretty much! If someone says "well this could have been done better in such and such way" then that kinda makes me feel uncomfortable, and kinda like an idiot because well, they're flaws in what I previously thought was a flawless thing, but if they just trash it it just makes me feel crappy (which is why I gave the example of the Star Wars prequels)..

On the other hand, if someone's just being a complete asshole just to be an asshole I can sometimes just say "oh, they're just a troll, whatever" (Homestuck's helped me learn that one, with the whole "lol Homestuck sucks" meme)

To me, it's the criticisms that are legitimate enough that you can't argue with them, but not necessarily always the right ones. Yet they all leave you with the strange feeling of "no, I LIKE this thing dammit! Stop criticizing me for liking it!" (When of course, nobody did any such thing)

 

:O
I don't understand that.
I mean, on one hand, I don't understand who could possibly strongly dislike SU, but I also mean more generally.
To me, strongly disliking means believing it's an objectively Bad Thing that Should Not Exist. And therefore, anyone who likes it has a kind of personality that's fundamentally wrong.

Aka "it's a flaw to genuinely like bad things".

And I do think that it is! There is a sense of objective measure of quality of stuff that our tastes should at the very least respect.
And when what someone says makes it seem like they don't, then I hate myself for it.

 

Oh gods do I feel this. I don't always mind discussing the flaws of a thing I like but generally speaking I'd rather not be present for that conversation if I wasn't warned beforehand. I know it's not always good to mindlessly like stuff but I don't have a better solution atm.

 

It's definitely true that discovering flaws in a thing does kind of make me feel bad, in that same "you like a flawed thing therefore you are flawed". It's actually a pretty hard thing to accept you like and engage with something despite its flaws, especially if they are significant flaws. This applies to both the work itself and its provenance. For the former, and example would be when people started pointing out how Homestuck is in some places problematic, and it took a great measure of self control to actually engage with that and not just go "NO STFU IT IS PERFECT". As for the latter, well, it's like when I found out that Orson Scott Card was a homophobic prick. It was hard to reconcile that with the fact that I still really liked Ender's Game.

 

On that topic, I also really hate when people say something is problematic, and you try to argue with it and they just say "it's okay to like it even though it's problematic" and that just makes me MORE angry because they don't even give me a chance to defend it?! And they're being condescending to boot!

Especially if the reason I like something is because I think it has a good message.

(And OF COURSE Wisecrack just decides to make a video about how The Incredibles can have an Ayn Randian reading. I wasn't able to pay attention in class today because that was on my mind too much!)

 

I know this feel. Someone voicing dislike of something I love can send me into major depressive spirals if it's someone I know IRL or talk too a lot. Also if it's a special interest then I get a double whammy, and additional guilt for bringing it up in the first place.
There are a few things that hit my RAGE button as well - people reading my fave character as an evil emotionless AI with no feelings even though he's demonstrated in canon in pretty much ever appearance that he is very much the opposite is one of them.
Then I have to go take a minute and breathe and remember that I don't need to fight everyone on the internet.

 

Welp, this just became somewhat relevant again :/
I had to unfollow someone because they kept on ranting about how much the new Powerpuff Girls sucked. I hate unfollowing people but I think I won't have to worry about that particular problem for longer than a couple of days, fortunately.

It's not like it's the best show, and sure, it definitely doesn't stand up to the original, but I do actually like it.

 

From what I've seen in terms of the Undertale fandom specifically, along with other really popular media, some people find that it resonates really personally with them. It's not just something that they like, it's something that they feel a very close personal connection to because it made them feel a certain way.

Or something like that.

I'm at the point where I generally don't get mad when people hate on something I like. Then again, I'm also at the point where I don't allow myself to get too engaged in other peoples' properties because I feel that drains the creative energies I can put into my own work. The only exception, of course, is when I share something I do like with someone I care about whose opinion I value, like friends and families. Then if they react negatively, I don't... Wonder about it but I feel a little bad and sort of awkward because I like something that they dislike (usually they find it stupid).

But if the person voicing dislike is just some rando I don't know personally, then fuck em. Not worth my time.

An abusive ex in the past used to diss on things that I liked to passive-aggressively piss me off, and it was after I broke up with them that I stopped letting it get to me.