im not sure what im going to do now. i kind of fall apart wihtout anyone to depend on, and i let my ability to take care of myself go away completely and i have lost the ability to make myeslf do basic functional-human things.
Yeah. And you mentioned working on your DPD but it sucks to be thrown into the deep end like this. Would you like more shark facts?
i would love more shark facts. i'm just. really not sure what i'm going to do. like. i have class tomorrow which means i have to wake up, shower, do other basic hygiene things like brush teeth, put on makeup, eat food, put on clothes, drive somewhere, pay attention in class. i can manage to do maybe three of those things before i break down because i can't take care of myself.
i don't think it would make much difference, honestly. if i call in sick my parents are going to ask me to do things and i'm no more functional to do those things than i am to go to class and they will yell at me.
Okay, this helps me with my depression and I'm unsure if it's transferrable advice, but worth a try. Use your few remaining spoons to make a list of things to do tomorrow, with steps. Tomorrow, focus on the step you need to do. Only the step you're on. One step at a time.
that might help if it was a depression issue and the problem was that i was too sad and overwhelmed to do things, but that isn't the case here. i mean, i'm sure that contributes, but part of DPD for me is feeling like i can't function on my own. doing anything independently is terrifying; there's just a sense that i'm going to do something 'wrong' even if it's something small and simple and basic, and i feel like i need permission to do it.
Okay. I didn't really get the thought process there so thank you for explaining. This isn't something I'm very familiar with! I can't give any advice but I am open to listening and also just talking, okay?
i'm not too surprised you aren't familiar with it, it's not very common and isn't discussed much. which kinda sucks cause there aren't many easily accessible resources out there to help with it.
See, this is exactly why I hate stigmatizing mental illness! It's so vital that resources be easily findable and accessible. I hope you've got resources at least?
nnnot really? i'm not currently in therapy or anything. there's a few things on tumblr but tumblr is. yknow. tumblr.
90% of things i've found when looking for dpd resources before are relatablefeel blogs which are relatable but don't do much in the way of telling me how to do recovery (especially without a depended) or neurotypical people talking about how people with dpd are basically children and how difficult it is to know someone with dpd (as if i wasn't aware of that already.) that or i get a lot of info on Dynamic Parcel Distribution, or something else that has nothing to do with mental illness.
Yeah, if possible your best bet is probably going to be an actual therapist, but I know how hard it can be to get one, and then you have to find one that actually knows what they're doing with your condition.
@Ruevian i'm at a trade school kind of deal. no mental health resources on campus, if you were going to ask. @Petra it's horrible. i was searching for awhile and looked at so many therapists who deal with depression and anxiety, depression and anxiety (though god knows it's still hard enough to find a decent one of you're dealing with those, even though they're more common.) i have to find someone that deals with the stuff i need help with, can work with my weird school schedule, is trans-friendly, takes my dad's insurance, and isn't a cis man (i know this isn't fair, i KNOW, but i'm scared too be alone in a room with a cis guy.) i found one person so far so who met all of the above criteria and she isn't taking new clients.
@gills Yeah, that's what I suspected. I'm unipolar depression/anxiety/autism myself, although the autism is fairly well managed, I get overloads sometimes but I can express that's what's happening and retreat. Have you looked into anything like DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)? Basically, uhhh, it teaches you emotional awareness, emotional regulation, interpersonal skills, and effective coping techniques for when you're overwhelmed or to prevent you from getting overwhelmed. It helped me a ton even though I wasn't sure at first how much I needed it, it was initially developed for addicts but it works for a ton of conditions, from substance abuse to personality disorders to depression and anxiety like me. If you can find something covered by insurance I'd rec it.
I don't have any advice, but I've been reading along and you don't deserve this, ok? good luck, my dude, I hope things look up for you <3 ,-, ,' / ,' ( _ _ __...--' `-....__,'( _,-'/ _,---'''' ````-._,' ,' ,' o ` < `.____ ))) ...' \ `--..._ . .__....----'''' `-. \ ```7--i-`. \ `-` hjw `.( `-.`. `' `' ^this was supposed to be an ascii shark but it disintegrated