Out of context quotes thread

"I HAVE INTERESTS IN LIFE BEYOND TENTACLES"

#blatantlies

 

why would anyone have other interests?

 

"Not only is it our fetish, it's useful!"

 

[5/6/16, 10:06:19 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: What
[5/6/16, 10:06:20 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: Oh my god
[5/6/16, 10:06:21 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: Dude
[5/6/16, 10:06:27 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: You need to caaaalm down with the tumblr
[5/6/16, 10:06:41 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: On a website this big, if you've somehow seen every post I have, there's something wrong
[5/6/16, 10:06:49 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: Like, its not like you and me travel in the same circles
[5/6/16, 10:06:55 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: I don't even travel in any circles
[5/6/16, 10:06:58 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: I don't have an account
[5/6/16, 10:07:05 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: My browsing is basically mathematically random

 

well why wouldn't you get distracted by glassblowing

 

"oh, you've got a case of wizards! ...Wizards, not pyramid heads."

 

Spoiler: violence in a joking way

"if i ever have to listen to a house remix of sesame street ever again i'm going to kill everyone in this building"

 

"Dogs are the descendants of the clingiest wolves with the strongest drive to eat garbage. By this logic, I have decided that my dog is the pinnacle of canine evolution, the apex of a breeding project spanning tens of thousands of years, because I have never met another being that was clingier or that wanted to eat more garbage than her."

 

holy shit. that explains so many dogs i've known

 

[8:25:19 PM] some say the world will end in homestuck (April): w h o w a n t s a s s p p l e p i e

 

"...I wasn't a child soldier. I was a slightly underage mercenary. Now shut up, and go away."

 

"Jesus has x ray eyes"

Spoiler: context what context

I actually have no context for this myself. My job is in a suite of an old building that often hosts dinners in the hall directly outside of work (all the other businesses close by 5, we close at 7). There was apparently a church dinner I had to walk through to get to my car the other day. The pastor was saying this as I locked up - it was a whole theme he was elaborating on, actually. I have no clue where he was going with it. Maybe "Jesus knows what's inside of all of us" or something like that.

Edit: actually thinking about it, I'm pretty sure the whole quote was "We need Jesus because Jesus has x ray eyes." I'm not 100% sure, the quote above was the one I bothered texting to everyone I know because it stood out.

 

well, at least we avoided the "invisible girlfriend" problem