shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

You shouldn't.

 

TMI, Grunkle Stan!

 

Cover your ears, Mabel.

I was unaware that my husband was expected to refer to everyone whose bits he's ever touched as one of his partners.

Okay, Mabel, it's safe now.

 

I was under the impression it took more than interfacing or intercourse to be referred to as a partner.

 

Is the smaller organic not finished with her juvenile growth phase? I did not want to assume.

 

I was under the same impression. How would that even legally work out. Inject and Jumpstart are already conjunxes I don't know if they could have the rest of us... And I wouldn't put Swiftwing down as my partner.

 

Sunshine and I spent a certain amount of time together, and we were actually partners. He remembers that period of time very differently from me.

 

She's thirteen. But she does have two girlfriends her own age, with whom I would assume she engages in age-appropriate courtship. I believe the issue is that she doesn't wish to imagine Ford fooling around.

On the other hand, I'm Ford's wife, and I'm younger than he is but not as much as I look...and I'm not much taller than Mabel is.

 

Stanley, please.

1) If it's anyone's fault that I ended up developing a taste for xenophilia, perhaps it is the fault of the individual who pushed me into my own portal and ensured that for the next thirty years of my life, very few of the people I met would be technically human.

2) However, I'm not complaining. I am very happily married to the lovely @Valiska Pines, who does not happen to be human. I am in fact grateful for that. Which is why I was not grateful when you dragged me back to Earth in Dimension 46'\ and completed the massive act of complete fuckuppery I had attempted to abort. (Fortunately, this separation was not permanent.)

3) On the other hand, it does make you look just a little bit jealous that, while you got a lot more dates when you were younger, I actually managed to stay married to someone for more than four hours. (Your coin-operated mechanical husband does not count because, unlike the nonorganic personages with whom we are currently conversing, he is not a sapient being.)

4) You are also currently involved with an alien lady, and I have reason to believe that you are very happy with that relationship.

5) I'm pretty sure that even if everything Sunshine believes to be true actually is, your numbers are still significantly higher than mine, if only because I've been completely monogamous for the last twenty-five years.

 

How are you st1ll such a smug, superc1l1ous bastard and why hasn't anyone managed to murder you for being the most purely 1nfur1at1ng creature that ever breathed a1r?

 

Stop flirting with me.

 

Sunshine...he's mine. As you know.

 

Why don't you just put a collar on h1m 1n case there's someone left al1ve who hasn't heard you say that yet?

 

If the appropriate rites are performed it is generally considered polite to back off unless the sparkmates in question actively invite you.
I would suggest trying for amica with him if conjunx didn't work out, but somehow I get the feeling "best friends" does not quite accurately decribe your relationship. Or would be able to in the future.

 

It is generally considered polite to back off unless invited in most cases actually, not just when people already have a conjunx endura

 

Sunshine, stop!

He's not interested in you anymore, and what you're doing right now is not helping, seriously!

I know how it feels to want someone, I know how much it hurts, Luck, but that doesn't make what you're doing okay. And honestly, it scares me... *sighs* Makes me worry that you won't respect my boundaries, that you'll be so focused on wanting me that you'll stop caring about how I feel if it gets in the way of that... And while I don't think I'll ever break up with you, I like to feel like it's an option and like you won't try to harass me into getting back together with you, if that happens.

Just... please... stop. Please...

 

1 do not want h1m back. 1 just want her to stop be1ng so smug. *eyeroll* He sa1d, stop fl1rt1ng, f1ne, 1 can do that, although holy sh1t, 1t's just words.

But then she has to say someth1ng too.

(Also, you're k1nd of overreact1ng. 1 know 1'm never go1ng to be w1th h1m aga1n. But 1 st1ll l1ke g1ving h1m sh1t. Because somebody should.)

 

That's my job, you knucklehead.

Also I'm pretty sure that the reason she keeps saying it is because he likes hearing it.

 

THE AMOUNT OF "NOT OVER IT" YOU HAVE FOR STANFORD IS VISIBLE FROM SPACE. PRETTY SURE OTHERS ARE LIKE WILLING AND CAPABLE OF PICKING UP THE SLACK IF YOU BACK OUT FOR YOUR OWN SANITY BECAUSE YOU KEEP SAYING SHIT LIKE THIS WHEN YOU KNOW THE ADMIRAL WILL HEAR YOU AND THEN PRETEND LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW THEM'S FIGHTING WORDS.
SUFFERER HELP ME I WILL AUSPISTIZE IF YOU DON'T STOP, YOU DAMN MESS.

[she says with all the authority a fourteen year old could possibly have]

 

*sighs* I don't think she's being smug, Luck. I think she's scared. Scared you'll hurt him. And thinks he needs backup, someone to defend him, some more reinforcement of his "no" to get you to back off. And yeah, she's making things worse with that, hitting your buttons, but... I don't think she knows that.

(Luck, I'm a genie, and you were giving off some really familiar vibes there. I know now that you didn't mean it that way, but... it scared me. *sighs*)