Puns?

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by Deresto, Feb 25, 2015.

  1. Everett

    Everett local rats so small, so tiny

    Once, a few years ago when I was in high school, my friend got stumped by something some asshole said about undocumented immigrants' right to medical care:

    "The only place that should be treating illegals is a raptor hospital!"

    .....ill eagles? ill eagles.
     
    • Like x 3
  2. The Phoenixian

    The Phoenixian Not an eldrtich abomination, but getting there.

    While I think our generation is more independent than our parents' I think that comes at the price of being a little ego-centric.

    I mean, it's even present in our art.

    We've stopped going "dada" and started saying "meme".
     
    • Like x 14
    • Winner x 1
  3. strictly quadrilateral

    strictly quadrilateral alive, alive, alive!

    fuck off
     
    • Like x 5
    • Agree x 1
  4. strictly quadrilateral

    strictly quadrilateral alive, alive, alive!

    [4/13/16, 9:42:29 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: Keep on topic
    [4/13/16, 9:42:32 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: This is a banking chat only
    [4/13/16, 9:42:36 PM] Cinnamon Bird: Excuse me this chat is being reserved for strictly economic purposes
    [4/13/16, 9:42:41 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: ...so, see any good stock markets lately?
    [4/13/16, 9:42:45 PM] Bel: nope
    [4/13/16, 9:42:47 PM] Bean: what about the banking though
    [4/13/16, 9:42:47 PM] Cinnamon Bird: naaaaah
    [4/13/16, 9:42:47 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: me either
    [4/13/16, 9:42:54 PM] Bel: cupcakes you're bad at being capitalist
    [4/13/16, 9:42:57 PM] Oobletops: there's no such thing as a good stock market
    [4/13/16, 9:42:57 PM] Dave: I tried, but they accused me of stocking
    [4/13/16, 9:43:01 PM] Bel: DAVE
    [4/13/16, 9:43:39 PM] Bean: the stalk market
    [4/13/16, 9:43:45 PM] Dave: I managed to seduce a CEO once, but then I got busted for inside-her trading
    [4/13/16, 9:43:52 PM] Bel: FUCK
    [4/13/16, 9:43:54 PM] Colonel Cupcakes: FUCK
     
    • Like x 4
  5. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    This isn't a pun, really, but the juxtaposition made me laugh.

    There's a longterm mental health campaign running on my campus, with nice laminated signs saying "Break the Silence" and talking about resources you can access, etc. Unfortunately, it's also exam season, so said signs are interspaced with neon posters saying KEEP SILENT.
     
    • Like x 10
  6. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    But has anyone broken one of the KEEP SILENT signs yet?
     
    • Like x 5
  7. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    (Discussing 4/20)

    Dad: There was a strange smell... it reminded me of university, for some reason.

    Me: Ah, the smell of higher education.
     
    • Like x 5
    • Winner x 1
  8. oph

    oph There was a user here, but it's gone now

     
    • Like x 9
  9. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    (Don't take guns to the police station without warning them, cats and kittens)
     
  10. SpruceZeus

    SpruceZeus 2 spoopy 2 live, 2 creppy 2 die

     
    • Like x 9
  11. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    The language used to describe the fertilization of an ova is very reflective of heteronormative romantic ideals - it is the job of the sperm to chase, woo, and win her [the egg] ova.
     
    • Like x 4
    • Informative x 1
  12. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    Me: They literally have two separate wings for domestic and international flights.
    Sister: Yes, most airplanes have two separate wings.
     
    • Like x 9
  13. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    OH MY GOD
     
    • Like x 7
  14. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    2x PUN COMBO
     
    • Like x 1
  15. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    Quoting Pterry might be cheating, but I think the greatest pun I've ever encountered is this line from Guards! Guards!:

     
    • Like x 10
  16. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    What primate makes the best butler?

    A yourang-outang
     
    • Like x 6
  17. Kaylotta

    Kaylotta Writer Trash

    BUDGIE
     
    • Like x 1
  18. Imoyram

    Imoyram Well-Known Member

    I didn't get this and then I did and it was horrible.
    *amused sigh*
     
    • Like x 1
  19. budgie

    budgie not actually a bird

    (After reading that the Louvre is at risk of flooding)

    me: [sister]! I've already come up with a bad joke about the situation! Why are they moving stuff out of Paris's foremost art museum?
    sister: ... why?
    me: Because there's water all Louvre the place!
     
    • Like x 7
  20. Kaylotta

    Kaylotta Writer Trash

    when i see this:

    silly.png

    my reaction:

    dis gon b gud.gif
     
    • Like x 8
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