Today I Fucked Up (Or, The Idiot Moments Thread)

Tried to do a load of laundry last night...only to discover, once the washing part was done, that I hadn't actually put any laundry in there.

 

Tried to fill the kiddy pool for the dog. Needed to increase water pressure, so I pressed my thumb over the hole, as you do.

Managed to waterblast my face and only my face, shooting water up my nose at frankly insane pressures.

 

@PRelations oh my god that sounds so painful D: I hope you're okay.

 

Yeah I'm fine, just... exceedingly annoyed with myself. >:T

 

not entirely sure who it was that actually fucked up but it might have been me so i'll put it in here.

YSFU by closing the dishwasher too hard and knocking the bottom sprayer off it's hole. when the drying cycle started, smoke started pouring out of the vent. when we shut it off and opened it up to check, the sprayer had landed on the drying coil and started melting. the kitchen smelled like burning plastic for hours and we're too afraid to see if the washer still works right.

 

@Deresto shit son.

 

yeah, nobody was hurt and the coil itself looks fine, and we can probably get the general store to order us the piece, and washing things by hand isn't a major deal b/c i have gloves so it's just a thing that was more a big deal at the time than it is now. here's the piece if anyone's interested, it got about halfway through the plastic before we noticed something was wrong:

 

Oh my god, it's good that you noticed!

 

Today I fucked up by not paying attention. I was driving home and came to a red light. I'm just sitting there, staring at my steering wheel, when suddenly I see the light change, so I start going.

That, dear readers, was the light for the lane next to me. THE TURNING LANE. Which I was not in.

As soon as I realized what I did I stopped, but I was sort of in the way so the oncoming drivers waved me through.

I panicked so badly after that I thought I was going to explode from sheer mental breakdown strength alone. Called my Dad and asked if I was going to jail (I don't know why, but that's where anxiety-brain always takes me. To jail.) and he told me no, if I hit someone it'd be a maybe, but probably not so long as no one was hurt. No one was hurt, but there were witnesses who watched me fuck up, and now I can never drive that way again. Or at least that's what anxiety-brain keeps saying.

 

"pulling the tape out of vhs tapes and cassette tapes."

My three year old has done that at least six times.

"obviously it didn't cross my mind that sticking my entire arm into a bunch of branches with sharp ends sticking out at all angles would have bad consequences."

Wasn't that in one of the Saw movies?

"So I have a van. A month and a half or so ago, the tire was flat, beyond repair."

I use a torch to loosen stuck nuts via thermal expansion. I imagine that would have solved the plastic hubcap problem too.

I found out yesterday that sleep deprivation + freshly sharpened chisel = 7 stitches.

 

Left hand. 1.25" long through the skin and into the fat layer between my thumb and forefinger. Fortunately the chisel was extremely sharp; I barely even felt the cut. I was just like "Damn, now I gotta go get stitches or something. What a pain." and slapped some duct tape on it to hold the red stuff in.

 

I just scratched my butt with my wet glitter-fied nails.

Glitter ass.

Posted in the annoyed thread when I couldn't figure where this one was. Couldn't remember enough English either. Or what this was called. Just...that thread. D: And this was right there on the first page. FFS.

 

@jacktrash's status reminded me of this, though it happened years ago.

I was eating a raw carrot and choked on it. I coughed a couple times, and managed to get the bit of carrot up my nose from the inside. My solution to this was to inhale through my nose as sharply as possible... whereupon I promptly choked on the carrot bit again.

All this in front of my bewildered but highly amused family.

 

late april i was eating oatmeal choclate chip cookies while talking to my teacher and she said something very funny and i got oatmeal chocolate chip cookie up my nose for the rest of the night. it was gross, slightly painful, and annoying

 

i wasn't listening fast enough to the lady talking to me at work but i was pretending i could understand what she was saying as she was saying it and not 3 seconds to 5 seconds after, so i politely nodded and smiled through the story of how her 14-year-old nephew took a tumble off his bike and became a paraplegic.

oops.

 

On sunday I broke the dishwasher.

In my defence, I was stoned off my tits and trying to fit inside it so I could better fix the already-borked shelf slidey thing. Turns out dishwasher doors are not built to take the full weight of a 66kg human.

I am a doof. At least it was an old one and I'll still get the insurance to buy a new one....

 

filled up the kettle, put the coffee in the the mug, walked away, fed the cat, came back and poured the water in the mug.

guess who didn't actually turn the kettle on. >.<