My Mom just tried to commit suicide, what do I do?

Sweetheart. Ok, first off, let me pause and just point out, holy crap you are such a good kid. Like, seriously, your mom is so lucky, and ought to be damn proud of you. You are going so far above and beyond what anyone has any right to expect of you, and you're doing it with a grace and maturity that few adults could muster. Ok? Let's just sit with that a sec.

But like. That's the thing. You're a kid. You should not HAVE to be responsible for this. You should not have to worry about making appointments. What I'm trying to say here is really, where the fuck is your dad and why isn't he protecting you right now? I know this is a hard situation for him too, but step up dude. Your teenage kid should not have to be sitting here trying it to figure out how to get her mom life saving medical care in the wake of being held hostage to someone's psychotic break in the middle of the night, wtf.

Look, I'm going to be straight on this. You're white, and your parents aren't like, meth farmers or on the lam right? Call the cops. If your dad can't or won't deal with this--and I mean like ' in the next half hour' kind of timeline here-- you need to be somewhere else. This is seriously unsafe crisis situation right now, and frankly sitting in the police station is at least likely to be physically safe for you. And hyphen adults are in charge of what happens with your mom and it's not on you anymore and your dad can't just fucking ignore it.

 

You really think so? Thank you. that's really sweet of you.
He's downstairs. He was trying to get mom's doctor's information from her earlier, and he helped get her to turn around when she was driving, and he got her to go take a nap instead of grocery shopping/the office/the bank/wherever else she was trying to go. I'm upstairs keeping an eye on mom, so I'm not sure what he's doing.

 

Can you call your aunt or another adult to sit with you while you watch her? You should really really not be alone.

 

They aren't meth farmers. Are you sure? Cause that seems really extreme, she didn't do anything violent.

we're kinda isolated, but maybe.

 

You're not useless. This is a really frightening situation and not knowing how to handle it is OK. You're doing really well.

@Lissiel is right - your dad should be dealing with this. If he's freezing up, I'm sure we can help you figure out who to call and put together a script. Does it seem like he knows how serious this is?

Editing because a whole bunch of posts while I was typing: what Lissiel said.

 

honestly if your dad is taking care of it (by which I mean getting someone WHO ISNT YOU to keep control of her and getting her medical help stat, of which it sounds like he's maybe doing at least one) then no you don't need to call the cops probably. If he were like at work or something and you were alone with someone who a)had just attempted suicide, which is indeed violence, and b)was acting paranoid and like they weren't dealing with reality anymore, that would be seriously unsafe, gtfo right now however you have to kind of territory.

If you can find out what your dad is doing, that would be good. If you can get him to agree that you should not ever be responsible for watching your mom for more than like five minutes on your own, that would be excellent. Like, ok, if she were suicidal and depressed, but basically not doing anything now and knew it was fucked up and wanted to work on it at home, that's one thing. But this is seriously not that. She's not in control of herself right now, and is definitely a danger to herself and frankly if she's getting behind the wheel while not clear on what's actually happening she's putting other people in danger too.

 

He's trying to make her an appointment, but having trouble because she already has one way later? and he really doesn't want to jump to 911 call

 

When is way later? Has your dad made it clear to the therapist/appointment person that your mum is really not doing well right now? She needs some sort of crisis centre or something to assess her.

 

He can't cancel the later one? Like seriously tell the office lady that there was as a goddmaned suicide attempt, anyone not criminally incompetent will make shit happen already.

 

Next Wednesday, and I think so, but there's something going on with her doctor? He didn't explain very well.

 

I guess not? I'm not really sure.

 

...they're leaving someone who just tried to kill themselves and May or may not have had a psychotic break alone at home for a week?

 

Apparently. Dad's trying to sort it out.

 

No, ok. I'm gonna assume this is telephone and not 'wtf your moms doctors should all go to jail'.

If she's going to be home for a week, what you personally need to do first is make sure you're safe. Insist on not being alone with your mom til this is handled ever ever. Same if you have any sibs. She needs adult supervision 24/7 and that cannot be you.

When you get to school (you're in hs right? Will revise if I'm misremembering) talk to a councilor there. Not about your moms issues, but about how YOU'RE doing, what YOU need. You need and deserve support right now and your parent might not be able to supply it with everything going on.

 

Yeah, it's some sorta schedule conflict doctor isn't her actual doctor but OH WAIT etc, etc, etc thing.
I can do that.

 

Just make sure you don't wind up your mom's primary caregiver during this situation. When my mom had her psychotic break, it was just 16-year-old me caring for her. That's a really good way to fuck yourself up good even if nothing bad ever happens. Once you as her child accept responsibility for your parent's well-being, it puts you in a position, whether you are aware of it or not, of holding yourself accountable for it later, like I've been struggling with for years now. It is such a hard situation you are in, but you make sure you stay firm with your boundaries now to protect your OWN sanity. We are all behind you. *sends internet cookies and hugs*

 

^-------- THIS THIS THIS.

 

Yeah, I've been the primary caregiver a few times before and it sucked. It's why I've spent a lot of this incident hiding in my room writing and on kintsugi

 

I can absolutely not blame you. :( It's a terrible thing, and holy crap you have done so much so far for her even in this situation. You are doing fantastically. I'm just hoping that your dad can arrange some kind of immediate care because your mom definitely does need it, like Lissiel said. When she does come out of it, like mine did eventually, if she's any kind of parent she will not want to have the knowledge that her care was put on you. Mine was SO UPSET that all the other support systems in place failed.

I'm not sure if this is an option where you are, but down here folks can be admitted to the hospital by family under the understanding that without supervision they are potentially a danger to themselves. They are watched and medicated and taken care of. It's 72 hours down here I believe. I know that's not a pleasant thought, but it could be something for your father to consider if he hasn't already.

 

thanks for saying that I'm doing good.
I'm not sure, but I can check.
We might have just gotten a phone call from the doctor so we could be good.