The room is now completely sterile. No microbes can exist there. You can no longer enter it without having your gut flora instantly exterminated and getting badly sick. I wish I were more motivated.
COngrats! You're more motivated....about everything every single thing seems like something you need to do, should do, and want to do I wish to be good at all types of crafts
All the crafts, you say? Granted. You are also now the precise weight of a duck. Therefore: WIIIIIITCH! A WITCH, A WITCH! WE FOUND A WITCH, MAY WE BURN HER? I wish I wasn't sunburnt and dehydrated.
you are no longer sunburnt and dehydrated! instead, you are dead from intaking far too much water. I wish my internet would stop cutting out at random intervals, or any interval at all.
Due to convoluted malware, your internet now runs at unpredented speeds, and can never be interrupted or turned off. It also interrupts everything you attempt to do on your phone, computer and/or tablet with loud, graphic pornographic pop-up ads every 17 seconds. And not even porn you're into. I wish my nails would stop breaking.
Granted: your nails can never break, and thus never be cut. While you will eventually be recognized in the Guinness Book of World Records, life ... is difficult. I wish my dishes would wash themselves.
Your dishes now wash themselves. They seem to never STOP washing themselves. The instant anything other than air touches them they're back in the sink working up a mountain of foam again. Nowadays your water bills are horrendous and you eat all your meals straight off the table. I wish I was home sooner.
You are home sooner. Every time you leave your house you find yourself home again. Your boss is getting annoyed. I wish I was allowed to drink more Guinness.
you are allowed to drink more Guinness. suddenly, the company goes out of buisness, the brewery goes up in flames, and all Guinness left in existence is now fought over hunger games style. i wish i could levitate things
You now have the ability to levitate the following things: paperclips, empty styrofoam cups, and individual peppercorns. I wish Steven Universe had a reasonable damn schedule.
Steven Universe is now on a regular schedule, airing every Thursday at 7pm. Unfortunately, literally nothing else is on a schedule at all. The only bastion of sanity remaining is Steven Universe. Nothing else makes sense anymore. I wish no one could become addicted to anything.
Granted! The chemical reaction which makes humans form addictions has been removed from the brain. Unfortunately that also means enjoyment of anything at all is gone too. I wish I could stop procrastinating.
you can never procrastinate anything ever again; unfortunately, stopping when you still have things to do also counts as procrastinating. you rarely rest anymore. I wish I had tickets to RTX and a hotel room near the convention center.
Granted! You now have tickets to a convention that not one other person will attend. Just you in a convention center for several hours. I wish that I didn't have time management issues.
you no longer have time management issues. now you manage time. which is an act you manage perfectly, of course, but making sure time does what it's supposed to do is a rather consuming line of work. you never sleep again. i wish i could multitask
You can multitask but when you do, everything gets done incredibly poorly. You also lose the ability to do anything but multitask. I wish that studying wasn't boring
studying is no longer boring. studying gives you a thrill, you now love studying. you become so good at studying, but when you go to take your exams, you find they have moved the testing location. you find out the new location, but when you arive there it has been moved again. you opt to take the exam online, but there is a power surge and your house loses electricity for a week. you go to the local library, hoping to use the computers there, but you never get past the nonfiction section. surrounded by such a wealth of knowledge you are overcome with emotion and cannot bear to simply pass up the opportunity to study. after three days the librarians end up having to forcibly remove you from the premises because otherwise you refuse to leave. so much time has passed since you were originally supposed to take exams that you fail all your classes. i wish american netflix had more tv shows i like
american netflix has more tv shows you like; unfortunately, the next day you move to a completely different country and no longer have access to american netflix. I wish I had more pomegranates.
You are now required to spend half of every year in the land of the dead. I wish the witty comments I always think of after the fact would occur to me at the time they're actually relevant.
Your witty comments always occur on time, however you can only say them in a language that only you know. I wish I hadn't woken up 7 hours earlier than I wanted.
