@OnnaStik i spent too long writing this and missed my chance but: Spoiler: i may have gone a bit overboard witty comments now occur to you when they are relevant. you become masterful at comebacks, on the fly puns, and are a delight to be around. unfortunately, perhaps too many people now enjoy talking with you. you lose sleep, unable to pass up the opportunity for one more pun. your email becomes cluttered, and your phone is ringing constantly. one day you wake up to a stranger waiting at your door, a foreigner from across the sea who simply had to speak with you in person. you become a viral sensation. you begin to wear sunglasses outside in an attempt to hide from your fans, but they are too discerning. you attempt to avoid speaking to anyone, but your brain is so full of perfect comments that you are, in the end, unable to properly isolate yourself. you are miserable. you go to the movies but end up missing the entire thing because you got into a conversation with the cashier while buying your popcorn. you try to go to school but your teacher and classmates are far more interested in interacting with you than they are in any type of academic instruction. you try to order a sandwich but end up spending two hours speaking to the youngster manning the panini press. he is much too enamored with you to notice, but the panini press is on fire. soon, he is as well. you turn to run out to get help, but but you realize how many witty comments are currently relevant to his situation. now you are also on fire. you did not wake up 7 hours earlier than you wanted. you woke up at exactly the time you wanted, but in the incorrect timezone. ETA (oops): i wish i remembered to do things
you now remember to do things. you remember to do all the things. you cannot stop remembering to do things. you cannot sleep for remembering to do things. you cannot stop remembering unless you do the things. you are constantly doing things. I wish I wasn't sick to my stomach
You are no longer sick to your stomach. You are now sick to every other organ. I wish I didn't have to get up so early for work.
You now have tea, but every time you try to drink it the cup breaks and tea spills all over you. I wish I didn't have a fever and chills any more :(
You ask the computer for some tea. The computer puts so much processing power into trying to make you a cup of tea that your spaceship is blown up by Vogons. (I know this was answered before but I couldn't resist) I wish that no harm could come to anyone.
Doing harm is now impossible. Surgery is no longer an option. As this leads to harm being done anyway, the universe explodes in a puff of logic. I wish Trump wasn't a serious candidate.
Trump is no longer a serious candidate. Instead, he is a joke candidate who runs in an apparently serious manner and, when shot down by the Republicans, chooses to run independently, splitting the vote--entirely as a joke, of course. I wish I didn't have a headache.
instead of having Asperger's, you now have ADHD. you can never remember anything, ever. you are constantly at a loss for what you were just doing, and you struggle greatly with organization. I wish I had a hamburger.
You now have a Hamburger: a person from Hamburg who follows you everywhere. They're friendly enough, but ... man, they really don't want to leave your side. Like, ever. I wish I didn't need to eat.
Guess what? I actually have ADHD already! You now never need to eat because your digestive tract no longer exists. I wish my ADHD and Asperger's would both go away.
I'm not sure whether to be happy to find someone else with my specific brain oddities or to feel sympathy because jesus christ I hate my brain sometimes. But this isn't the subforum for that, this is fun and games! Of twisting people's wishes against them! MWAHAHAHA!
