TIME TO GET RRRIIIIIIIPPED!!!!! - the exercise thread

I live in rural Utah, nestled "in the asscrack of several mountains," as a friend of mine once said. So the nearest chapter is the Province of Arrows' Flight in Artemisia.

I am a beekeeper, I keep bees! (which, because this is the fitness thread, isn't much of a workout except for like, lifting frames and boxes and stuff, which can get heavy when there's lots of honey.)

 

Ah, sorry, can't help then. Was thinking you were somewhere near Minneapolis. Well, you could always try to start a new little group if you have any like-minded people nearby.

 

leg lifts make my hip joints... move around. like, i feel like my hip is flattening out and arching again when i move and its sorta weird. is that normal

 

Space nerd running update:

The race is in 11 weeks and so far I'm in good shape. My long run this morning was 15 miles. From here on out, I'll be increasing my long run distance in waves - after each REALLY long run, I drop back to 15 to give my body a chance to recover and then build up again. I'll max out at 22 miles 3 weeks before the race.

Weirdly, I seem to be having less pain now than I was 5 weeks ago. I guess my knees and hips and feet have figured out how to handle all the bullshit I'm putting them through. I'm a little worried that as the mid-week runs get longer, I'm going to have to be better at time management than I typically am to get them all in and still do things like eat and sleep and go to work on time.

This morning I paused at 9 miles to install an app on my phone so I could run directly to the coffee shop and get an iced mocha without having to stop at home for my wallet. I take my motivation where I can find it.

 

It's not pain, just.. Weird popping? I may have inherited weak joint tissue from my mom, so that probably the thing. And it was the bottom images type leg lifts that were having it happen! Bodies are weird. I'll try the top ones, those look less weird joint inducing!

 

;w;

guys i found out i accidentally hit the first milestone at some point and didnt even know.

when i started at my job i was a 3x and it was tight. they got us new shirts today.

now a 2x is LOOSE.

 

So I do HEMA, historical european martial arts, for exercise. I take german longsword classes twice a week, where I hit people with swords. My class also has elements of grappling in it because longsword fights turn into grappling matches really easily. We learn how to fall and some basic moves. I have some really buff shoulders and biceps from holding a 2.25 lb sword above my head and swinging it around.
My class structure is 5ish minutes of stretching, then 30ish minutes of conditioning circuit to strengthen the body, then 10ish minutes of footwork and distance drills (usually either chasing or command drills, I really hate chasing drills because I am tiny and most of the other students have ridiculously long legs and no idea of how to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN to match your partner so I feel like I'm 6 inches away from getting trampled), then 30ish minutes of bladework drills and/or grappling drills. If we have time at the end we sometimes do free sparring which is really fun.
I am much stronger after a year of this, I can jump half my height, toss around 4lbs like it's nothing, gotten some buff ass shoulders, and I now know how to kill a man.
My school offers classes twice a week for $120 a month (USD) in highland broadsword/smallsword/sword and buckler and german longsword. Our instructors are working on learning stickfighting, and we used to offer grappling and dagger classes, I'm not sure if we still do. Other options that our school doesn't offer are saber, italian longsword, messer (german knife fighting, but with a knife that is basically a sword), rapier, sword and dagger, saber, pugilism, and others. Most common are broadsword and longsword I think.
<<<My buff biceps (idk why it's sideways)

 

Awesome! Where's the school? BTW, you are your avatar...

 

Greater Boston Area, there are schools all over though.

 

!!!!! tell me where this boston school is please

 

With my hypermobility, yoga is a Bad Idea. I am already bendy, do not need to be more bendy...

Also walking/running is a crapshoot for me because High Impact sport on my hypermobile knees can sometimes make them dislocate badly. Last time I built up my leg muscles to that point my knee blew out so bad I was immobilized on the floor for like four hours before the ambulance got to me.

Aaaand then ADHD/the spergs mean that indoor exercises get very tedious for me very quickly. I've found half-pullups on my brother's old doorgym aren't so bad because I can put my laptop on another stool and watch youtube while I flex, but again, crapshoot. I either do forty reps a day or like forty reps a week, depending on spoons, and while our exercise bike is great in theory, I can't internet while I pedal and it eats spoons like no-one's beewax.

Basically can anyone tip me with some non-boring exercises for an overly bendy tool who can't concentrate more than a few minutes at a time?

 

I'm going to shill for Tai Chi again, because if the routine gets boring, just reorganize the routine. The forms all lead into each other naturally so it's easy to change. I've already done a bit of that.

And discovered that I can treat it like dancing to basically any music. Beethoven Tai Chi is... interesting. So is Slipknot. /shrug

 

@PotteryWalrus the only genuinely low-impact stuff i can think of off the top of my head are things pool-related. unfortunately, spoons... i have a friend who also has some hypermobility issues! i'll see if she can rec anything for you. other than that @jacktrash is the low impact king 'round these parts iirc. pinging him bc maybe he'll have some ideas for you ;-;

 

I walked like 3 miles this morning in search of Pokemon. *proud of self!!*

Btw, do any of you have personal trainers? I want to be stronger and more muscular, but I am terrified I'm going to hurt myself or make a fool of myself. @~@ If someone has tips for what to look for/watch out for, I would gladly take them. FTR I am fat and weak and AFAB and I would like to neither have someone attempt to motivate me by reminding me of ""bikini season"" or by getting screamed at by a drill Sargent. :V

 

I put doing pushups and biking around the lake on my dailies in Habitica, with a bonus for a 2nd lap around the lake.

 

i actually left the house today? and i walked to the park and back (idk how long the distance is but it took me over half an hour at a decently fast pace) and walked half a mile around the track while i was there. maybe i can do this every day for the rest of the summer? that would be nice

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/
https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/
https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/

as weird as this is gonna sound, i used these to get started myself. Fitness will critique your form for you if you're unsure if you're doing a thing right and has some really good no-bullshit getting started links that will work for anybody. like, they don't ban you from anything at all. they don't try to tell you 'well you have to only eat xyz.' they give you the numbers you need, the resources to find those numbers for yourself, and turn you loose to find what works for you.

 

I think those would be helpful in the event I want to be more independent, but I'm extremely hesitant to do things like weightlifting without an experienced guide in the room with me showing me what to do and being able to stop me immediately if my form is bad.