if you still need help, getting clothes off the floor would be a good next step (that's what I'm doing too) also, getting clothes off the bed, which is what I'm terrible about
Clothes are also a really easy one to break down if it's overwhelming. 'cause the whole pile may be scary, but one or two articles of clothing? Usually doable. That's the thing I use the "when I say the intrusive thought I have to do part of it" trick on the most often, actually.
Erm... I could try, but I think I may need to show you guys what exactly my room looks like right now. This is a picture of my bed. That is the top layer of Stuff. The rest of my room: The yoga ball is what I have instead of a chair. The mess is a mixture of actual possessions, clothes, and garbage. It's all so mixed up, though, that fishing through any one area to get all the clothes out would be unlikely to actually get all the clothes out - and furthermore, the clothes are all filthy. I haven't been able to do laundry in a few months. Maybe I could do laundry today. I promised myself I'd go to the workshop, and technically my schedule (my ancient schedule that I'm no longer in any way obligated to stick to) doesn't have me there on a Tuesday until 1pm; I don't want to go, but I know I'll like it once I'm there, and I know how upset various people are that I haven't been going. Not because it's my job or anything, but because it's mostly full of people like me whose lives are fucked up and they all know it's a bad sign when someone stops coming. Plus, I have friends there, and they miss me. Last week I managed to talk myself out of going. I went on Wednesday and had a fantastic time and was really excited about going again the next day, but instead, I spent all day and night (because Thursdays they have an open night as well as the day hours) arguing with my brain about whether to go or not, and brain won with "no, stay here and hate yourself for it". Spoiler: non-practical information (introspection/angst) I do think that's the reason behind a lot of my avoidant behaviour - I accepted years ago that my profound self-hatred is not entirely logical, so I think I self-sabotage so that I have an excuse for it, you know? I believe so strongly that I need to be punished, to feel guilty and wrong and bad, that I'll do stupid shit just to have a reason to feel that way. When you put it that way, you would think it would be easy to just stop, right? But it's not. For some reason it's much harder not to do it. This is a habit cultivated over twenty years, and heavily reinforced by outside influences. I know I'm basically bashing my head against a brick wall, and I'd like nothing more than to stop, but I can't. Obviously, the right thing to do here is to just go, but I guess... I'm worried I won't be ready. Like, with my perception of time, 1pm is the time I should be there. (It's only a five-minute walk away.) But because I'm so mixed up and uncertain and everything, I can't tack on another 20 minutes to that, convince myself that my free time lasts only until 12:40, at which point I need to put on work clothes and get my WIPs together. Or at least, if I can, it's not coming to me naturally. I cried a little writing this post. I like having a proper, full-on cry - always feel massively energised afterwards - but I don't like welling up like this, my nose running and my throat hurting, when I'm trying to have a productive day. I feel like my options now are to either suppress the crying, which is bad because More Emotional Self-Neglect and I Act Weird When I'm Upset Like This, or to give in and do it properly, which is a whole Activity in itself and I have other Activities I'm supposed to be doing like eating and dressing and washing and getting food so that I can eat. Spoiler: more introspection Grocery shopping is very unpleasant. It's been five years, but the bulimic thoughts come flooding back when I'm in a grocery store. They're like rowdy children... the autopersonification thing comes in here as well: my head becomes a debate between the one who wants to eat everything ever and then come back for more, the one who wants to drink her body weight in poison, a neurotic wannabe ballerina who's angry at everyone for being around food in the first place, and a couple of sensible kids too mature for their age who are helplessly attempting to remind everyone about the actual logistics of the situation. No one much wants to listen. It's getting late. I need to figure out what's going to happen today.
I done a food! I'm eating scrambled eggs and baked beans. One or both of my roommates have left the kitchen a mess, which always makes me feel better, because at least I'm not the only one. (Actually, I rarely leave dirty dishes in the kitchen.) I washed and put away the frying pan. *eta* Shit. I think I may have triggered my gastroparesis. :/ (this is not very serious, my GP is mild, but it's a pain in the ass)
I'm not seeing any images, but from what you're saying, it sounds like your room is in a similar state to mine. laundry is a good thing to do, but just getting all the clothes into a hamper or two is a good first step that will leave you w more energy left over for going to the workshop, if that's a compromise you're ok w the main things that help me cleaning wise are to either: pick one surface, like say a bedside table or section of floor, and clear it, bc by doing that I've limited the scope of the job to something manageable; or I decide to pick up one type of thing that's typically lying around in my room, like books or clothes or yarn. (though typically when I do the latter, the things I decide to pick up ends up being put in a box to be sorted through later, but that might not be bad if you're already putting things in boxes or containers for moving)
Oh, right. Probably cause my Dropbox is private. Point is, this is what my bed looks like. Which is to say: Not A Bed. I sleep in an area about two feet wide and less than five feet long - I know it's less than five feet because that's how tall I am, and my feet hang over the side when I sleep. I practically live in this space, too, since I don't always have the wherewithal to move to my "desk" during the day. (By "desk" I mean "section of my wardrobe that has a flat surface I use as a desk, sitting on my yoga ball instead of a chair".) The problem with picking up one type of thing is that the mess is so deep I know I wouldn't be getting all of that thing. Like the other day, when I said I'd cleared out all the dishes? I found a fork in my bed this morning. Oops. And there's a mug that I somehow managed to... not see? Even though it's right in my line of vision. (I do that a lot - miss things that are right in front of me.) I feel like I could do some stuff today, and I'm telling myself I won't go in to the workshop because I'll get some room stuff done instead, but I don't know... how true that is? Maybe it has to be more true than it has been before, because this is Day 5 of the one month I have to make my room presentable to potential new tenants.
Or, if that's not brain-doable right this second because it's a big job, pick four or five things and get them off. Maybe focus on either the biggest stuff or the stuff that has a clear home you can put it in. And then do that a couple more times later.
I honestly don't think that's actually physically possible in one day/night, but I can try. The problem is that I can't really put most things away because there's no "away" to put them, but I can at least organise them into groups of "things that would go together if I had somewhere to put them away".
If you're able to get your hands on some boxes - whether plastic bins or just plain cardboard - it might help organize a bit. Just from what I'm seeing on your bed, you could put papers (including drawings) in one box, clothes (including that corset) in another, and all empty containers and packages in another... are you saving those on purpose or is it trash you haven't gotten to yet? If the latter is the case, that might be a good place to start. Just remove all trash from your bed. Bottles with things still in them could go in another box.
A mixture of both. Last time I tried to de-trash my room I filled an entire garbage bag and it didn't look any different, which was quite disheartening, but I do a trash roundup every so often. It never gets all the stuff in the room because inevitably there will be more garbage buried under the mess, but I still do it. I'll try to start with that.
Re: the disheartening part, would it help to restrict this trash roundup to just your bed? That way you're more likely to make a visible dent in the mess.
what @LadyNighteyes said. break the task into small areas that aren't as daunting as the whole room. for reference, here's my room: at least, that's how it was two weeks ago. (also there's a dog in the pic being stupid as she looks for my cat who is probably under the bed) I'm currently doing laundry and picking up the clothes that are on the floor between my bed and bookshelf edit: for honesty's sake, I should tell you that that's actually only half of my room. there's even more mess and clutter than you can see
Good news: I did at least 42 straight minutes of unfucking (measuring this by how much of the RENT soundtrack had elapsed :P) and put in a load of laundry! That's the first time I've done laundry in about two months, and the first time I've washed this bedsheet since I moved in. It involved removing as much garbage as I could locate on the bed, then moving the remaining stuff around as I extracted the sheet from underneath. I'll probably sleep in my sleeping bag tonight, because while there is more space on the bed the junk has been spread out in the unfucking process. Also I don't know where my other sheets are. p.s. your dog is adorable and well done working on your room!
awesome! I'm still doing laundry and folding clothes. need to do my sheets too, then I need to repair the holes in the fitted sheet x.X and ty! Hanners is a sweetheart who thinks my bed is her junglegym
That's great! Make sure you get the bedding dried--at least in the dryer--before you go to bed. Bedding picks up nasty smells really fast if you leave it wet (experience speaking here)
You may want to chose "more time digging though stuff then picking up" as the point where you stop for any specific category instead of "all of X", or move onto the next item. Like, first remove any visible trash, since that at least takes stuff out of the room, but once the visible stuff is gone, don't bother digging though things, just move onto either the next planned thing, whatever seems to be taking up the most room, or stop if you're out of time/energy. My advise from personal experience would be remove trash, move any dishes out of the room to the kitchen, then bag up clothes/laundry. That will free up some space from the missing trash, and bags of clothes are easier to move around to get at other things, and you don't have to worry about accidentally spreading the clothes back around. If you can, and it won't make it harder, you can even try bagging things like colors, whites, etc separately while you bag the clothes, so when you do feel up to laundry, you can just grab one of the bags, and not have to worry things like trying to sort them all over again. Once you've thinned out things a bit doing the "remove all visible X" so you are not spending too much time digging though things trying to make sure there is not more hidden at the bottom of various piles, you can always switch to "remove all X."
Can somebody prompt me today to work on my room? I have no other plans until this evening (whereupon i will be watching a musical in a rabb.it room with internet friends), and I want to be productive. Things that would be good to be asked: Have you taken the trash out? Is the kitchen clean? Can you vacuum the living room right now? What are you doing that you need to wrap up before working on your room a little? The good news: I just talked to my mother and explained that I'm moving, and that it has to be by September. Naturally, I lied about the exact reasons (in little ways - saying "I've given notice" instead of "I've been given notice", for example) and reassured her that everything is OK here (because I don't think I could ever not do that). I haven't yet explained that moving to Aberdeen is still on the table. On that note, one of the few friends I've made here in Glasgow was quite upset at the thought of me leaving and asked if I'd consider him as a roommate as an alternative to the Aberdeen plan. This was at a social event where I met/hung out with other cool people who live here, so overall it was quite encouraging in the direction of "stay in Glasgow", but I'm still not sold on it. Pros: he is in a very similar position to me, i.e. autistic adult supported by parents but wanting more independence; I wouldn't have to leave Glasgow; I would be sharing a living space with someone I already know; he has cats!!!; I don't have to be in any way embarrassed about struggling to look after myself. Cons: I don't know if he could actually help me look after myself. I like him but I'm not sure I'd actually like living with him. The cats shed a lot, which I'm not used to, having grown up with the mutant hairless kind. He and I would certainly have the ability, technically, to help each other stick to schedules and stuff (since "it's my job to remind this person to do x at y time" is WAY easier to do than "do x at y time on my own"), but I don't know if we'd actually manage it? I worry that we'd just both end up in doldrums, except with more alcohol. (He doesn't overdrink by Scottish cultural standards, but that's not exactly saying much.) I could live on my own, but I'm not sure how likely that is to be an actual viable option. I also need to figure out how to talk to my mother about needing more home support. I was going to bring up the OT thing today but got distracted. The trick will be balancing a. her desire to help me in any way possible with b. her resistance to accepting that I can't do it myself. I tested the waters today by talking about how I had to explain to my OT that when I say "I can't do it" I mean "...without help", and she very much understood that; she actually said "I hate to say it, but I think you're like me and [your grandfather]." I'm not sure exactly what traits she's referring to here, but agreed with the general "you seem to have inherited a set of difficulties that your grandpa and I both share, and we all wish we didn't" sentiment.
