Out of context quotes thread

Cat: Why are you hugging a dead animal that doesn't do anything?
Person: Maybe because he doesn't bite me when I have a cramp and have to roll over?
Cat: But that animal is so dead it's officially extinct, come on
Person: Has giant mouth, still doesn't bite me--you get the idea, cat?
Cat: FFFF, you necro.

Spoiler: context

context is my cat hates my thylacine plush and we were laughing about it in WT chat

 

HEEE SO IT IS.

 

Spoiler: image

 

My friend, after I booped her on the nose: "I'm suing for emotional damage!"

 

@swirlingflight: Dogs are usually physical

 

#a very sexually forward bit of spaceship furniture

 

where did you get this magical plush
please tell, my giant squid always needs more friends.

 

"Left cheek, left cheek, left cheek!"

 

[7/17/16, 2:40:24 AM] dwarf lover: if you don't wear a flamethrower on your face like some sort of insane bondage gear
[7/17/16, 2:40:26 AM] dwarf lover: don't try

 

ebay

It's a retired build-a-bear plush :) It is super cuddly and I sleep with it all the time.

 

Spoiler: nsfw

Spoiler: context

i saw 'don't follow if you sexualize any of the homestuck characters' on someone's byf. considering a good half of the homestuck cast is several decades old at the very LEAST, this sparked dilf jokes.

 

@Zin "the hickey of justice!"

 

"The trick to our lesbian bed death is that there was never a bed."

 

@unknownanonymous
Even in Middens' canon, a lot of Genie quotes are pretty bizarre out of context.