sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

He Who Walks Behind bought a Sinistar machine after the incident with teenage Harry? :::PPP

 

absolutely :P

 

It's been years since I first made it, and I still haven't decided if this joke is a headcanon or not: the party black mage in RH (who wears a strangely-cut, gravity-defying, cleavage-tastic minidress in her portrait but equips the same armor as all three of the human male party members) has turned her armor, some straps, and a layer of clothing invisible because a) she believes that "if you've got it, flaunt it" and b) she thinks it's funny when people try to shoot at her cleavage and the arrows bounce off.

It's not like it would be that much weirder than the people who keep leaving invisible barrels of gunpowder in the woods.

 

Homestuck trolls have three sets of vocal cords. (I'm pretty sure someone else used this before me, but I can't for the life of me remember where.)

 

BTW, general but probably relevant to this thread: if you ask me what a character I know would be like in a bullet hell game, I can probably give you an answer. (I don't actually really play bullet hell games very often, but I adore some of the ways Touhou manages to represent pretty abstract concepts via "people shooting an intense amount of bullets at you.")

 

eevees and other "cute" pokemon have obesity problems, the way that some pugs/other small squishy dogs can
it's not their fault they look so adorable and therefore get lots of treats
it's generally not a problem when you're out on the road, fighting random stuff every five seconds, but if you settle down you gotta be careful not to overfeed your pokemans

 

In the case of pugs, it's exacerbated by squishy faces, because it's hard to run around like a maniac when you're wheezing (animals with flat faces like pugs and Persians often have respiratory problems) so they don't tend to get as much exercise as they should. So Snubbulls might have it even worse.

 

Responsible for many uncomfortable conversations
"Uh, the major problem here isn't a status effect, your Snubbull is just extremely overweight. We need to discuss a diet change."

 

"But he loves Pokepuffs so much!"

 

"Yes, but. But you see, everything needs to be in moderation. Especially Pokepuffs."

 

Macarons are a sometimes food.

 

if harry dresden could use the internet he would spend his time nitpicking mmos for being "inaccurate" wrt magic

 

okay, but an entire blog dedicated to picking apart the dnd magic system
with occasional forays into descriptions of particularly ridiculous game events

 

he absolutely would. he has the soul of an English teacher

 

I mean, he canonically held up a DnD game to argue with the DM about the physics of how fireballs behave in narrow corridors. :::PPP

 

Yes. Exactly. It was great.
I need to reread side jobs eventually

 

it has thomas in a larp
you must reread
do it for larping thomas

 

a.k.a. "Straight vampire pretending to be a gay hairdresser pretending to be a straight vampire."
#well okay he really is a hairdresser #just a straight vampire one

 

and it is the Most Wonderful
I would like to see him get pulled into more larping adventures.

 

For my own sanity, I find it important to headcanon Stanford Pines as being hopelessly tone-deaf.

Spoiler: Gravity Falls

Because dammit, that was not a three-part harmony they defeated the zombies with! THEY WERE ALL SINGING THE SAME NOTES.