ask anything about DID

the worst part is I don't even ship Yang and Neon
YANG AND BLAKE 2KFOREVER
unfortunately the only other person I know with an actual system has just shrugged and gone "this is normal. let it happen." which ISN'T HELPFUL BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LET IT HAPPEN THIS IS IN NO WAY NORMAL

as for that...I suspect it's more like the personality segmentation thing. because my alters and I will sometimes have opposite opinions or disagreements, or do things opposite to my intentions and desires, and from what I've heard from this-is-not-dissociative (blog run by two people with actual-DID) that's actually fairly normal and common, for alters to disagree with the host/original, or do things contrary to the host/original's desires. so DID does seem to, at least to an extent, instill separate personalities and wants and desires into alters. I don't know if it walls off certain parts of my personality into alters, or what, but I can safely say that things like Neon's extreme energy was never a part of my personality, ever, so I have no idea where that came from or how my brain produced....the glitter monstrosity that is Neon. it could be that these are extremely buried subtraits that come out in alters rather than my main personality, maybe?

(no keep going, I love the speculation!!)

 

That sounds very likely!

With regards to Neon in particular... What did strike me about her was how she seems to embody her personality, uh, archetype? To an extreme (no offense meant to her, that is!). But, like, more than you'd expect from a non-alter person, the constant enthusiasm, and the ending almost every single sentence with an exclamation mark. It's sorta in line with what you see of Neon in rwby, where her role is sort of this over-excitable, "glitter monstrosity" as you say, taken to an unrealistic extreme for what little we see of her on screen.

But compared to how I see most people, even people with similar excitable personalities, acting in real life, Neon was overaccentuated to the point of being (and again no offense meant to her) almost slightly caricaturish-feeling. Sort of like, if you told somebody to put on an impression of the most over-the-top one-dimensional embodiment of that archetype, they to would probably start ending every sentence with an exclamation point, and setting Minecraft houses on fire just because!

So my point is, it feels like Neon the alter being as she is might almost be... a wish fulfillment thing? To an extent. Some underlying desire at some level to be that sort of "ultimate excitable chaotic" archetype, which came out as Neon (who is presented as that archetype very strongly in the show) - but your brain when creating her didn't really fashion a more realistic real-world "natural" personality, but rather, dialed it up to the one-dimensional extreme, in a similar way to how one might when pretending to be that sort of person without much other context, or when wanting to quickly get across the personality of a tertiary webseries character with very little screen time (as in rwby). Of course, your manifestation of Neon is in this case a "real" personality, because that's how DID works! But she was, nonetheless, a constructed personality, on a subconscious level, and I think that comes across in the extent of the glitter-excitability thing. It feels artificially over-the-top, which probably belies the ultimately constructed nature of alter personality profiles.

 

it's definitely partly that.
but...there's also the fact that Neon as we know her, well, she started out acting hugely one-dimensional--until recently. she talked to a friend of mine who told her to dial it down, and suddenly, she became a lot more...normal isn't the word I want but it'll have to do. she's still excitable as fuck, and she still does chaotic shit, and she still talks a fuckton, but she's also more...well, emotional is part of it, she has a wider range of emotions, she's more realistic about things, and she actually advocates for like, doing productive shit now and then, and she tries to keep the peace and keep people's spirits up.
which almost makes me wonder if she's putting on a front around people, or if she's acting a certain way because she feels she should, or if she developed over time?
additionally, I've certainly never wanted to be super-excitable-glitter-monstrosity, at least not consciously. I suppose it could be subconscious wish fulfillment? but it also seems like her...'job' is sort of, well, keeping people cheered up. she's very empathetic (where I and quite a few of the others are not) and she's pretty damn sympathetic too. she always seems to know what to say when people are sad, or upset, whereas I struggle a lot with that. then again, she's also got a fuckton of self-confidence, which could definitely be wish fulfillment, as I have no self-confidence and desperately want more.

 

Remember in- well, I'm not sure if you've read Homestuck, but how AR was originally purely a product of Dirk's brain, but then began to diverge and become his own person once he started running as an independent personality?

Here's my theory: When Neon was first created, she had no actual real-world experience of her own, except for what general "about the world" things she knew from you, and "artificial" memories that were constructed for her personality. That is to say, she was only the constructed personality. Now, she's been around for a bit, and had some actual life experiences, which are shaping her into a more rounded three dimensional person like the rest of us, with the constructed archetype acting as the foundation.

 

that....actually makes a lot of sense.
I have indeed read Homestuck. quite avidly, in fact. so avidly that I have a Roxy fictive. who's been around for a while. but in any case--that makes a lot of sense, that analogy.

 

oh! in all this mess I forgot to share my accomplishment!
I managed to voluntarily switch completely out! not co-fronting switch out, actual switch out! it only lasted five minutes and I still can't access headspace, but IT HAPPENED

 

Congrats! You are becoming... Master of the mental majicks.

 

yes. yes I am. one slow, five-minute step at a time I am becoming master of the mental majicks.
nods to myself. someday I will have all the power. power to do what? we don't know. but I will have the power.

 

So, the real question is, what's your Classpect? Maid, Witch, Mage, or Prince of Mind? :P

Spoiler

Okay so the fact that you have alters or "mental splinters" is very much a Prince thing, but at the same time that might be the trait that that needs to be subverted for ultimate growth in Sburb. Which would imply the inverse class, Maid. Then again, we're talking about majicks here, which would be more contiguous with the Witch or Mage classes (or maybe even the Muse class), depending on whether you were active to change or to know respectively, as opposed to to create for the Maid class. Going by BKE's class definitions, that is.

Gender exclusivity probably doesn't apply seeing as you're agender.

 

well according to every test I've ever taken I'm a Witch so
I'M THE WITCH OF MIND :D

 

This means one of your main active powers is literally "to change minds".

Presumably this applies to your own mind to so extent. But also you probably have mind control. So ye. Use your powers for good, for with great power comes great responsibility!

 

you expect the chaotic neutral player to use their powers for good? no. I shall use them for what I want/need to use them for.
(if I have the power to change my own mind to an extent, can I force integration)

 

I don't think your alters dating each other signifies narcissism at all. It seems natural to me; they'd have a tough time dating anyone outside your head! I mean, my first thought was "There aren't that many people who can relate to an alter besides another alter."

 

I've always wondered: how does this work? How do they date?

 

this is....true.
it's just strange to me because like...they're parts of me, and I don't have a desire to date myself, so why should they? but then, given that they don't see themselves as parts of me, I guess it makes sense they would have the capacity to be attracted to each other...

 

I have approximately no idea. I'm assuming they just talk a fuckton and call it dating. maybe there are physical representations of themselves somewhere and they can do date-y things? but I don't really know, to be honest.
physical....mental representations....does that make sense??

 

That may be a general rule, but it's never really true across the board. Some ego-dystonic stuff is ego-dystonic because of which parts of themselves a person most values, or wants to value, but some stuff is ego-dystonic because it pure just goes against the person's entire... person.

 

I think Gavin mentioned something about them having bodies in headspace.

ETA: I think that's his name. The sorta quasi-factive one.

 

quasi-factive one is Gavin, yes.
he did?
well then.
I guess that answers the question of how they--
does that mean they can have sex
BRAIN WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

 

@chaoticArbiter do you mind if I message you? I'm suspecting I have DID and I'd really like other opinions