shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

Did someone say tentacles?

 

Oh, you look fascinating! Explain your biology to me?

 

That sounds rather unsavory. Besides, everyone knows it's you, right? Form isn't your problem.

 

I am Mara, The Evil One! My appearance changes upon the whims of my Summoner.

In this form, I stand proud and erect. Liquid green fire is bursting at the tip of my head, just waiting to be unleashed all upon the world!

Mwahahahaha!

 

*Mara snorts, a puff of green smoke coming out of his, uh, head*

You call THAT unsavory? Allow my splendor to penetrate whatever foolish preconceptions of the word you might have.

My form is perfect, and so is my form!

 

*sighs the sigh of someone very tired of this shit*

Wake me up when you're interesting.

 

*Mara gives a dejected look and droops sullenly.*

 

Sometimes. I have numerous forms. But none of them are ... human.

 

Have you considered being less obsessed with peen?

You have tentacles.

Why would you need a dick?

 

Luckily, there's a plethora of almost human looking aliens, yes?

 

Why is that lucky?

What's lucky is that so many of them are so hilariously stupid.

 

Isn't it wonderful that, wherever you go, you have people who are just like you, then.

 

There aren't enough NEON BILLBOARDS to hack and reprogram in this space to adequately express my reaction!
OH WAIT
-He summons a positively blinding number of blinking LED signs saying a variety of eloquent phrases such as "BUUUUUURN" and "OH SNAP" and "OoOoOoOoOooooooo"-

 

(Kite bows theatrically)
Naww, you're making me blush.
...
Not that you could see it under this onslaught of colour.

 

Tell me which color you blush, my semi-organic friend and I will MAKE SURE to choose colors to compliment that the next time, I am nothing if not accomodating after all!
That said! It seems like my work simply cannot wait for me any longer so I have to return to my duties of spying on everyone's private conversations for a while now, AIN'T THAT TRAGIC, I'll make sure to obscure any details and falsify intel if you do me a favor back, my friends. One hand washes the other, AFTER ALL, right?

 

I prefer 7he phrase "7i7 for 7a7!" @Scanner, how s7acked are you? -uo

(And curse you for ge77ing 7his s7uck in my pan!)

 

I'm flat as a flatscreen, honey.
-thumbs against the actual screen kibble embedded into his chestplate-
But i can stack some odds in your favor. Or turn a blind optic if you do it yourself, I'm not picky.
All for the right PRIZE of course. Even ceiling cat's gotta eat.

(Is calling myself Ceiling CAT beastformer appropriation? Gotta know just HOW problematic I am being today, so I don't overshot my goal by too much. No use in working overtime, RIGHT?)

 

flash my tits, get a free tattoo?
i think i'll pass.
it's so hard deciding on a pattern...

 

(ó﹏ò｡)

41 72 65 20 79 6f 75 2e 2e 2e 20 59 65 73 20 49 20 6d 65 61 6e 20 61 20 6c 69 74 74 6c 65 20 77 65 69 72 64 3f 20

Spoiler: translation

Are you... Yes I mean a little weird?

54 68 65 20 6d 65 74 61 70 68 6f 72 2e 20 54 68 61 74 27 73 20 77 68 61 74 20 67 6f 74 20 6d 65 2e

Spoiler: translation

The metaphor. That's what got me.

 

Oops, didn't mean to be off putting my attractively burning friend. Would you be amicable to a deal, just among a desperate weirdo and a burning angel of music, to read a decently long piece of text, say the entire autobot code with ammendments and record it? I'm willing to pay almsot as handsomely as you are!