shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

No+t really? Mine was a virgin mo+thergrub who+ had abdicated her ro+le. So+ she lived with me at my hive in the desert. I actually fo+und her a huge pain mo+st o+f time o+n Befo+rus because she was just. Always there. She co+uld burro+w thro+ugh anything and fly to+o+, so+ it's no+t like I co+uld ever hide fo+r very lo+ng. Never saw ano+ther o+ne, and certainly no+t o+ne who+ was in the caverns.

 

I think that's just me.

 

vwell, your quirk is confusing and leads people on. you could try NOT doing that, seeing as its kinda a dick movwe.

oh, vwowv, you knowv howv to use a captchalogue. CLEARLY my evwentful adolescence nevwer happened and magic is real.

cute, cute, you actually think artificial muscle can hold up to sheer rawv strength. i COULD destroy evwery bit of that ridiculous little illusion you got going there, but im a nice guy, so i vwont.

 

i daaaare you to arm wrestle him.

 

For future reference, these are my bas1c concerns.

1. Be aware that 1f you're known to be prom1scuous and not too p1cky, people who want to hurt you or your loved ones w1ll often use sex to get past your guard. You may th1nk you don't have enem1es, but you probably do, and 1 know 1 do and Papyrus does. We may not be on Altern1a, but we're known assoc1ates of Stanford Fuck1ng P1nes, and...that's bad enough.

2. Please do not get pregnant or get anyone else pregnant. 1 was bas1cally horr1f1ed when 1 found out that th1s was a th1ng that people could do. 1 don't know what to do w1th ch1ldren. Papyrus and 1 would probably both feel obl1gated to support you 1f you acc1dentally a k1d but we m1ght not be happy about 1t.

3. Please do not br1ng home any horr1ble pathogens that probably won't k1ll YOU.

4. Don't fuck the Amporas because, h1stor1cally, every s1ngle one of them was or 1s an annoy1ng loser who 1s or was utterly embarrass1ng to be assoc1ated w1th unt1l they e1ther acqu1re a lot of power from some fusch1a who f1nds them p1teous or they snap from be1ng the butt-monkeys of the un1verse, and then they turn 1nto k1ll1ng mach1nes.

5. 1 w1ll be very annoyed 1f 1 have to soc1al1se w1th people who embarrass the fuck out of me. Annoy 1s f1ne and can even be hot, embarrassment 1s the fuck1ng worst.

 

vwhats in it for me if i perform a favwor for the lovwely lady.

ivwe STILL nevwer evwen DONE anything and this is stereotyping.

 

if you win i'll kiss you.

 

YOU GAMBLE HARD I SEE

 

(he's not gonna win)

 

ARM VWRESTLING IT IS.

 

(I CAN PRETTY EASILY LIFT A CAR OVER MY HEAD WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT AND WE'RE ABOUT THE SAME CASTE...)

 

(he's not gonna win)

 

One: 1 don't fuck1ng care, 1'm not a Beforan and 1f you do not know that 1'm a walking tr1gger warn1ng you have NOT been pay1ng attent1on.
Two: You totally have. Wh1n1ng about how badly treated you th1nk you are and how much you need the sex you don't get before anyone even knows who you are 1s one of the great class1c young Ampora fa1lure modes.

 

(YOU HAVE BLIND OPTIMISM ON YOUR SIDE I'M SURE LUCK WILL FOLLOW)

 

Actually, you're frequently a floating or flying trigger warning.

Sometimes you're a falling one.

 

and i could completely change all of that at any time if i vwanted to. im not restricted to 'young ampora failure modes', yknowv.

 

Th1s k1nd of th1ng r1ght here 1s just one of the reasons you're so popular throughout the mult1verse, you loathesome, p1teous pervert.

 

*sighs* Yeah, I'm aware that's a thing. Never imagined I'd need to worry about it, but yeah... I guess I do now.

And Pap has enemies? You mean, like that kid from his dimension that was killing all the monsters there?

*nods* Trust me, Luck, I don't want that to happen anymore than you do.

Okay. Protection and/or magic can take care of that, I think. That and not sleeping with anyone who obviously has a pathogen, of course.

Yeah. Cronus has proved that point.

... uh. You'll tell me who does, right? Or describe that kinda person in more detail?

'Cause, well, I'll try my best not to make you socialize with them, but... *sighs* I might make mistakes, you know... Can't read your mind, after all. (Or, well, I probably could if I wanted to, but... I'm not planning on trying that trick out.)

But the steorotyping's not been wrong so far. I mean, seriously, just look at the shit you've been saying!

 

But you haven't. That's the tragedy.

 

stereotype

• : to believe unfairly that all people or things with a particular characteristic are the same

Emphasis on "unfairly" there. Kid, d'ya want me to go through and quote everythin' you said that proves this:

? Cause I got nothin' better to do til we hit that space station and rationing makes me a li'l tetchy.

People here have tried and tried t' be nice to you an' you keep throwin' it in their faces. I don't blame 'em for judgin' you now. Yer prob'ly gonna complain yer bein' targeted, but kid, you made yerself a target. Cause here's the thing: once you act like an aft, which you have, you gotta prove you ain't gonna any more before anybody's gonna treat you nice again. Maybe you'll never learn that - or maybe you'll learn it after you been such an aft that nobody wants to talk to you. An' that's sad. An' if it'll keep that from happenin', I'll go through and point out e'ry single li'l stupid thing you said.