so i'm being followed by demons: what do

i mean, to be fair, the only problems i was having last time i was in his office were seriously increased paranoia and an incident where i was convinced that something was going to eat off my fingers and toes if i didn't sit the exact right way in the exact right place. the demons and auditory shit are newer developments.

 

I mean... that is still incredibly worrisome. Like, increased paranoia and being convinced that something is gonna eat your fingers and toes is still Not Good. I hope he listens to you this time =(

 

he's going to listen whether he likes it or not. i'm half-considering sending him a fucking email even though he hates that shit and the appointment's literally like a day and a half away.

 

You could send him some of what you've written here, give him an idea of what's going on. Tell him in advance that you need to address this, and that it is non-negotiable?

 

Yeah. This is the sort of thing that really needs to be addressed by a psych post-haste. Good luck when you see him, and I hope he's reasonable and does his heckin' job like he's supposed to. Hallucinations are not fun times and definitely not be ignored and laughed at if you're a medical professional.

 

seconding this. and emailing him ahead of time might also hopefully prevent derails (either intentional or not) or forgetting to bring it up

i always forget to bring things up if im not experiencing them Right Then, so.

 

Gonna extrapolate advice from dad: if you want someone you're doing business with to take something very seriously, you pester them. Emails, calls, meetings, whatever works. Do not let yourself be ignorable.

He gives similar advice wrt job applications.

Anyway, I totally support sending an email. If I were you, I'd let him know that this is something very important to address and if he could prepare some ideas for treatment beforehand to discuss during your appointment it would save time and be very appreciated.

 

see, that sounds completely reasonable! but the anxiety that he doesn't think is worth treating says that i am being a horrible bother who should kill myself, like, so much u gaiz. maybe i'll compromise and type something up to give him when i see him tomorrow? that way i can't downplay.

 

That would definitely be a good idea! Do not downplay this. I don't really want to alarm you, but i'm pretty sure symptoms like this can start going way further south pretty fast, and the sooner you can catch it and start treatment the better

 

that's pretty much what my friend who has experience w/ this said when we were discussing it a while back. this has gone from a single isolated incident to every fucking night in what, two months tops? more like a month and a half. i'd rather not see this shit level up again, lmao.

 

it's really not fun when it levels up again
I have psychosis and
yeah
no
don't let it level up again

 

I don't know if this is the right place to ask a tangential question but seeing as there are a few people here who are in the know:

Spoiler

What exactly causes these types of symptoms, things like psychosis, to develop? Is there a cause or does it just happen randomly. I know a little bit about how these things works with respect to disorders like schizophrenia but other than that I really don't have a clue what the cause of psychosis and/or hallucination is, especially seeing as a lot of descriptions I hear essentially have it appearing in a short time scale without any seeming prelude.

I am thinking, perhaps it's like any other illness that can just strike without warning or "cause" but I always seem to hear that it's associated with other things or that it has "causes" but I'm never too sure what exactly.

 

Good idea! I hope you can still email him, but typing something to give him tomorrow works as a failsafe.

 

I mean, for me the cause was a massive amount of stress + PTSD that evolved into psychotic features that eventually evolved into full-blown psychosis.

 

I think recent research is finding that psychotic symptoms are commonly responses to stress/trauma.

 

I had a friend when I was younger who developed symptoms young seemingly as a result of isolation and stress stuff. idk if there is any known specific cause or suspected cause at the moment

 

My worst instances of psychosis were during a high stress period when my anxiety was being deliberately triggered, but I've had issues with paranoia and hallucinations almost all of my life. Depression (possibly bipolar?) runs in my family, and schizophrenia is a hop-skip away from that, so having psychotic symptoms worries me but doesn't overtly distress me. Most of the time they are stress based, but there's evidence that genetics can come into play as well.

(Apparently the reason why lithium might work is because there are noticable pockets of liquid in bipolar brains. There's no conclusive evidence one way or the other, but 'significant brain changes' can also be a trigger, whether those changes are environmental or a result of genetic predisposition.)

ALSO please do type the thing for him. Even if it's just a compilation of symptoms so you can remember them. Anxiety brain is fighting you, but you absolutely deserve treatment, and to be taken seriously over this.

 

The one time I can think of off the top of my head when I had a legitimate experience with delusions was when I was in college, which... was the worst stress I've ever been under. Hey TA, do u remember those frantic messages I sent you demanding reassurance that fish can't breathe grapefruit juice?

I vote 'take any reasonable measures to prevent yourself from downplaying.'

 

my brain is honestly such a shit, i s2g. i'll start typing the thing now, i think, before i can talk myself out of it.
(and i do, yeah. 8( )


and as for the stress/trauma causing psychosis thing- it's weird, i've experienced for the most part less stress than usual and, while some sketchy things have happened recently, nothing that i'd classify as trauma. my family on my mother's side is full of mostly bipolar-flavored brainweird, but. idk. i can't think of a real trigger for this, unless 'feeling like i'm falling all the time, forever, as life passes me by and my friends go off to college' counts as a trigger, which i don't think it does. this whole thing is bizarre. 8/

 

I had some weird things last year and a couple of times before where I thought I had psychic powers, and some other stuff, which was all very strange. But I think that that didn't really classify as real delusion, although I was going through some weird mental stuff at the time that might have influenced it. Probably more just "being a teenager with issues" syndrome.