sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

I'm not sure who the player characters would be, aside from John. Maybe it's like Imperishable Night, except instead of swapping between a human and a youkai, you swap between a Beta and the corresponding Alpha kid. And probably every character has a "serious" aspect-based bomb card and a completely ridiculous bomb card, because I liked the bombs that Vriska video gave John. Jane has a "Maid of Life ~ Resurrection" bomb and a baked goods bomb, Dave has a turntable timey-wimey bomb and a SBaHJ bomb, Dirk has a soul vortex bomb and the aforementioned rain of Smuppets, Rose has a light blast bomb and a Squiddle bomb, Roxy has a Void bomb and a bomb where she summons pumpkins and A BEAUTIFUL PONY, Jade has a bomb where she ejects all the bullets into outer space and a bomb where PM chases Bec Noir across the screen in a chorus of barking, and Jake has a Hope wings bomb and a bomb where he just shouts "TALLY HO" in gigantic letters that scroll across the screen.

 

Equius really should read Discworld and learn from another troll how to make a bow he can use.

 

my dash showed me two that i adopted instantly:

Peridot finds another fictional alien to love

Spoiler: they have so much in common

and the Undertale crew playing D&D (with spoilers)

Spoiler: not really canonically possible spoilers, but still

 

Spoiler

so, would the genocide route be that frisk got sick or something and let chara play their character for a bit?

 

Spoiler

everybody was too sick to play, but frisk and asriel were determined to try anyway... so instead of focusing on worldbuilding fluff and characterization and all, they just went for conquering the game to make the most powerful player character they could...

it didn't go very well

 

Spoiler

they tried to make the most broken character they could, and succeeded. everyone else wakes up to "THIS WAS A MISTAKE" messages

 

Spoiler

Chara found them crying as Asriel narrated the events of the throne room. Hung in the doorway a few minutes, watched them both asking "what do we doooo"... then went over, stole the character sheet from Frisk, and tries to flush it down the toilet.

 

I once wrote a Persona 3 minific where the party's personas were their DnD characters, because, to quote a friend, "in canon they're ordinary schoolkids who fight demons at night, and in a DnD AU they'd be ordinary schoolkids who fight demons at night." Ikutsuki is the DM.

Spoiler: Persona 3 spoilers

He tries to pull a Rocks Fall Everyone Dies, except Palladion makes her Will Save and he ends up storming out. They get Ryoji to take over as DM, but he turns out to be even more of a downer and pulls an unbeatable final boss out of his ass. They win anyway when Minato manages an Old Man Henderson level plot derail with his minmaxed shapeshifter.

 

yes. yes good.
and this is why they cannot play without the rest of the group there.

 

Both of the Skeleton Brothers went to college.

Sans used to have a PhD in physics, but sadly it was erased (along with all other records of his previous existence, hence why he and his brother showed up in Snowdin out of nowhere) after the Gaster Incident. He hasn't tried to get it back because 1. he's still slightly traumatized from the whole thing, 2. he doesn't want to spend that much money, and 3. it was bad enough putting in that much work the first time, there's no way he's doing it again.

Papyrus has a bachelor's degree. He's just about twenty-two at the start of Undertale, and is more interested in pursuing a career in the Royal Guard than anything that's actually related to what he majored in, so he's not planning on doing any graduate school.

What did he major in?

Well... You know how you don't have to be a woman to get a degree in Women's Studies?

And you know how canonically there's apparently at least one college in the Underground that offers a degree in Tem Studies?

Yeah.

Honestly, it's way more useful than you'd think. He could probably even make Temmie Armor if he actually had access to the materials.

 

Oh my god

I cri it's good

 

After Ford learns about Cards Against Humanity, this is his favourite expansion. Except for the one he wrote himself, "Cards Against The Multiverse".

Stan is disgusted that Ford can hand his ass to him at that game because even though Stan's been in prison and is hella cynical, Ford's seen shit he couldn't explain to his brother even if Stan knew every language he knows.

 

Relatedly, this post has given me the headcanon that Garnet, of all people, is fucking amazing at CAH. Out of the main cast, Amethyst is the only one who can beat her. Connie is also surprisingly good, and may or may not have made a few lovingly handwritten fandom expansions.

 

RH one that's... probably not headcanon, but amuses me immensely: Stocke is yellow-blue colorblind. The reason he wears bright red all the time is that screw it, at least this way he knows his clothes look the same color to him as they do to everyone else. Bonus A: this means he would have no idea if his eyes are blue or green any more than I do (yay, inconsistent art!). Bonus B: there's a sidequest where an artist is throwing a drama fit over running out of a very specific shade of green paint and clearly if he can't get it he MIGHT AS WELL THROW THIS PAINTING AWAY BECAUSE HE CAN NEVER FINISH IT, and this would mean that to Stocke, the entire painting just kind of looks like a blob anyway.

Non-RH one because I promised: Mercy sends out soul-crushingly terrible Facebook memes to the rest of Overwatch. We're talking, like. Minions. It's physically painful. She legitimately thinks they're funny and clever. D.Va can't block her, but god does she want to.

 

Mercy's a sadist. The biggest sadist. Super sadist. You think you're a sadist? Mercy will make you change your mind. She'll show you how fucking inadequate your love of causing pain is. How weak you are.

And on the flipside Pharah is a masochist. The biggest masochist.

 

Pokemon Go/SU headcanons? WHY THE FUCK NOT.

• Garnet briefly unfused when she was forced to pick between teams, because Ruby wanted Valor and Sapphire wanted Mystic. She will never admit to anyone that she unfused over something so trivial.
• Steven can't bring himself to transfer any of his Pokemon, so he's stuck with a zillion Pidgeys and Rattatas. THEY ARE ALL FRIENDS.
• Amethyst is absolutely Team Valor and reigns over half of Beach City's gyms with an iron fist.
• Peridot is Team Mystic and reigns over the remaining gyms. She takes the game way too seriously.
• Pearl doesn't play, nor does she understand any of it.

 

In the Nanoha-verse administrated planets, there are some popular model toy sets - basically make-your-own plane/tank/whatever. But they're special, because a mage kid can power them themselves. Make the cannon light up (or, in toys aimed a bit more for older kids, shoot a very very weak projectile), make a plane float, that kind of thing. It's both a toy and a way for them to get in some magic practice, at least as little kids. There's a few different kinds of toys that have special mechanisms for when someone channels magic into them, though many parents rue ever buying their kid the Magic Singing Princess Doll TM (use your magic and watch her armor change color while she sings!)

 

Spoiler

There were Three Aces versions of the Magic Singing Princess dolls but Nanoha's got discontinued because they gave Air Force members nightmares for some reason.

 

Spoiler

Yeah, it's merch that was made after the movies came out. Hayate owns a high-quality set that was like, part of the first run or something. She thinks they're hilarious.

 

@LadyNighteyes's latest RH headcanon reminded me:

I had a friend in FF4 fandom who headcanoned that Edge was red-green colorblind, a fact that Rydia discovered only after he wrote her a poem praising the beauty of her flame-red hair.