I'm curious how I come off to other people. I'd like to imagine that other people care about that kind of stuff as well. So, here's a thread for talking about impressions of other users or whatever. I've spent upwards of fifteen minute fretting about the wording of this, and i give up.
I would totally talk about my impressions of you, @tinyhydra, but sadly I don't have any, hah. This isn't a reflection of you, simply a reflection on the fact that unless I have cause to interact directly with someone, I usually don't develop any impression whatsoever of them beyond some vague things like 'has a nice avatar'. I think the vague stuff I have for you is something like 'nice avatar, username sounds nice, is probably sensible??? do not have to tread carefully around', if that helps? Of course even when I do have impressions of people I usually can't word them properly. I am, though, like you, eternally interested in how I come off to other people, so other people are free to say their impressions of me also, and they don't have to be positive. I'm sure I have things I need to work on in how I come off to others.
@tinyhydra I don't know you at all, but I can say one thing for sure, I absolutely identify with your subtitle: When it comes to impressions I guess you can say I'm very much like a dog: everybody is friendly until proven otherwise, and everybody new is cooler and better than I am so I'm not 'allowed' to approach them. Online it's even harder to do that for me (reddit, facebook, tumblr, etc), except in places like this website, where it feels easier to approach people because I feel they at least share some issues that I have going on in my mind as well, and that creates a kind of camaraderie... So in this case the default impression is: 'like me, so friend!' And based on your subtitle you nailed one issue I have a hard time with, which is How to be Human, so that gives me already a HUGE positive impression, even if I haven't seen anything else of you. And this is also recognisable to me, so it becomes 'REALLY like me, so friend!' (if you look at most of my posts you'll see that I can't just post one and be done with it, I always edit five minutes after because the wording is wrong to my mind - it takes me a LOT of effort to just post something and be done with it) I've interacted a lot more with you @TwoBrokenMirrors , and my impression of you is a bit deeper than that - very insecure in some aspects, but rather bold and outgoing in others: you have a tattoo! That takes some boldness if you ask me. Also you have interests that are also interesting to me (Romans!). The only slightly negative thing to my mind is your insecurity, but again, I can't help but sympathise with that and it doesn't really give me a positive or negative impression. And even your insecurity is relative - I have the impression that when you're comfortable and with friends or with friendly people you 'bloom': you share things you like and are much more outgoing than if you were in a room with strangers and such. So in total: very positive impression! I guess the only time when I'm really negative of someone is when they present a very arrogant attitude towards the world around them - the ones who think they don't need to learn any more, who are so certain of their knowledge that they don't bother learning anything new, come up with quick solutions and think that's good enough, or dismiss nuance and other people around them. (I think I just described my ex) So they have to be pretty blatant assholes, and even then I'm willing to keep a positive impression because they might have had a bad day or they will be nice to me in the future. It's like 'fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice/thrice/four times/five times/six times and I MAY change my opinion of you" (but generally I find that the majority of people are incredibly friendly and I like people a lot. Thankfully I haven't experienced that many assholes) I like to know what other people think of me, but at the same time it used to distress me to know if they are dissappointed in me or if they think I'm a nasty person - so I compensated by always coming up with a caveat that 'I'm an awful person and I suck at a lot of things' but that never helped! I still want to be liked in a sense, and it's only now that I'm starting to have more peace with the fact that some people will not like me ever and That's Okay, and I'm learning to Not Care. Also as a result I'm getting a bit more assertive at establishing my boundaries.... slightly. Sorry, Fisbutt overanalyses again and realises how much she's like her mother.
@Fish butt Aaah thanks! =) Yeah, I get the feeling that if I get over the insecurity I am going to be one loud, friendly motherfucker, to literally everyone. I am naturally loud, I am naturally friendly, but unfortunately I approached both of these in the 'wrong' way as a kid and was consequently taught not to be either, or at least to hedge friendliness around with 'i'm sorry for intruding on your life but i would like to be nice to you, apologies' on occasion. Also fwiw my impressions of you are not at all negative! You seem like a totally dedicated, brave, skilled person, who has troubles but pushes past them. Mostly in my head you read as 'grown-up, nice, friendly, helpful, likes romans, safe??' and safe only has question-marks because I read a thread of yours where you said you have no sense of humour and that worries me because I am basically a sense of humour in a roughly human shell and if my sense of humour doesn't match someone else's it gets much harder to interact with them. But so far our interactions have totally been positive!
@TwoBrokenMirrors Telling me I'm 'grown-up' is probably the nicest compliment I've ever gotten. As for the 'no sense of humour' - that was badly worded. I have a very particular sense of humour, but I've noticed a lot of people don't find it as funny as I do - probably because I like in-jokes and absurd jokes a lot. I grew up with the Warner Brothers' cartoons and with Giles, a cartoonist from the 40's through to the 70's, so it's very based on that. Also WWII jokes, I love 'em a little too much. (I'm old fashioned, I admit it)
I didn't really expect people to have much to say about me. I mean, I only just recently broke 100 posts after being here since, god I dunno, February?? Yes, February 24th to be exact. I checked. I joined up here to get gud at pretending to be an actual human person, but it's always been hard for me to tell when what I have to say is something that ought to be said. Or deserves to be said, or whatever. I dunno. I've been trying to talk a bit more on here recently, so. I think I've made maybe five posts in the last few days, which has to be some sort of record! Anyways, @TwoBrokenMirrors, I've seen you around a bit, and the impression I got was someone who likes and cares about things openly and honestly but not in a really rigid or overly serious kind of way? Like, I've never seen you angry, I don't think, and you strike me as a generally happy person, but not someone who's afraid or ashamed to be negative? I dunno. I'm sorry, I might be mixing you up with a few different people with white avatars. And @Fish butt, I second Mirror's motion. You come across as very adult to me. Also, I get the impression that you have a very off beat sense of humor? I dunno how to describe it,. It reads like adult in my head? Not in like a sexual sense, but informed by older sensibilities. Like a Warner Bros kind of humor. None of that made any sense at all, sorry.
My impressions of people are hard to put into words 'cause they're feelings, and so it's just like Spoiler but let's see, maybe if I talk myself through it I can describe my impressions of the two of you? Okay, for @tinyhydra - I don't think we've ever talked, though I've seen you around, so my impression's mostly going off of typing style and icon. I like your icon, there's blue and it's not too crowded so it gives off an "open" or calm feeling. You spell, punctuate and capitalise neatly from what I've seen. And I laughed a bit at the wording/rewording thing, because I do that a lot with posts too. (I want to make sure that I'm clearly communicating what I want to say and not something else.) So I guess the impression I have is that you're somewhat reserved in your interactions with other people, but not because you're not interested, just because you're careful and deliberate with your words. @TwoBrokenMirrors Hmmm ... my impression is that I've seen you being enthusiastic a lot, and open about your feelings a lot. You can express distress without expressing an expectation that a situation or a person change to alleviate your distress. And your icon is busy and communicates motion to me. So I've got an impression of honesty. I've also got the impression that you get emotionally involved with people or ideas quickly, and feel things strongly, but don't want to impose on people with your enthusiasm or emotions so you tamp them down a bit depending on the situation. That's kind of a complicated impression but I think that's it. Okay, tell me how wrong I am!
@tinyhydra it makes a lot of sense to me! Don't worry, judging from what you've written - you're a lot better at writing down your thoughts in a clear manner than you think you are. Probably because you think a long time about it. If there's one thing I'm starting to learn, it's that we all think we're a lot worse than we really are.
@Fish butt my impression of you is that you've got a good head on your shoulders, dont seem to fly off the handle or flip out much, say interesting things. You're also from...uh, germany? Netherlands? (We were talking about pennsylvania dutch and now i cant remember which it is sorry!) Not america and that gives you an interesting perspective on a lot of cultural stuff. @TwoBrokenMirrors 'generally sensible, has good things to say so pay attention when (she?) talks, occasionally really funny.' @tinyhydra idk how much of this is just reaction to your username but my mental impression of you is 'precious cinnamon bun, protect and give hugs' (Anyone have anything to say about me? Is ok even if its 'scary jerk who shouldnt be here.')
@Lissiel I'm Dutch! :) And thanks! Well, my impression of you is certainly NOT: I don't find you scary in the least! Maybe if I saw a picture of you and you looked like this big Serbian metalhead I knew from highschool who already had a full beard at 17 years of age, was at least two meters high, then maybe... but even he was a sweetypie once you got over his intimidating black apparel and got to know him. (most bizarre thing I ever saw: him in a sweatervest. Granted, it was for our graduation, but still.) Or a jerk for that matter - you don't seem like you're forcing your opinion on anyone, you seem genuinely interested in people as I've noticed you ask a lot of questions, and you're a little careful in voicing your own opinions - not jerk-like behaviour at all. So I have a very positive impression of you, and from what I've seen I think you're pretty smart.
@tinyhydra You seem nice, and I wish I had more of an impression of you beyond that! You seem like you would be nice to get to know. @TwoBrokenMirrors Yooooo. You are hella cool, and you have your insecurities butman I like talking with you. /thumbs up @fishbutt You are also rad from what I have seen around. Your art is really cool too. ... Actually I find everyone in the thread to be nice and enjoyable to talk to. You all seem great in your own way.
Oh my god so many people being so nice to me You are grown-up! xD In that I can imagine you doing all kinds of Adult Things. In a good way, of course. And aaayy to be honest I think our senses of humour would mesh pretty well actually! I like the in-jokes and the absurd a lot as well, and while Giles only vaguely rings a bell, I grew up with a lot of old comedy too. Mostly Monty Python, admittedly, and the Goodies, and the Goon Show. I'm glad you think I'm not rigid or serious, because I'm neither! Not really. And regardless of whether you're mixing me up with people, I'm pleased your impression is so positive. And I think I am a generally happy person, it's just occasionally hard to remember that. Depression is a bitch. 'Honest' is something a lot of people interpret me as, and to be honest (lol) I'm really pleased about that, because I do try very much to live by 'honesty is the best policy'. If I lie, it tends to be by omission or exaggeration, hah. And oh my god I am SO GLAD that you think I can express distress without expecting everyone to bend to my whims, because I feel so often that I'm being unpleasantly manipulative when I express displeasure with something. I fight so very hard to recognise and remember that other people are entitled to their own thoughts and opinions and behaviours. As for getting emotionally involved quickly but not wanting to impose on people with said emotions- I take my hat off to you sir, you have me pegged. Well done. xP As for you! My general impressions of you are 'quiet maybe but sensible, safe, has good opinions, a smart human'. Sorry that it's short, but your gif up there is pretty much how I feel when I try and put impressions into words and I'm not as unexpectedly good at it as you are. xP I am so flattered that you think I have good things to say, omg. And that I'm funny! I love being funny~. And I'm also taking the pronoun confusion as a compliment too because I realised recently that I'd rather not read Obviously Female maybe. I am female, btw, and I don't object to female pronouns really, but neither do I object to 'they'. My impressions of you are 'have overcome a lot in a positive way, A Good Parent, says things worth listening to even/especially if do not line up with my own opinions', basically. =D Aaaaaay -high five- You are hella cool and I like talking to you too! You're super brave too, man.
(Fandom secret: i have spent enough of my time online in fannish circles that my brain tends to assume everyone online is female unless i find out otherwise. This is... Not actually great praxis, and i do try to remember when people arent female, but its an odd default to have.)
@Void I like you. You are definitely very friendly, and I really enjoyed reading that 'NSFW, AKA the "Void talks about things" thread'! You have a fun sense of humour and I generally like how open you are towards people.
i wanna know what people think of me. and i'm currently trying to marshal my impressions of people into something that makes coherent sense.
^Same here. I am not really good with impressions. But I really want to know what people think of me :P
