shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

Keep in mind that for my species, I'm pretty sure Primus doesn't give a shit.

 

That sounds very surreal, honestly. Not bad, necessarily. Simply that I can't imagine God not being a horrifying spectre, constantly watching down on you and occasionally speaking through people.

 

Well, plenty of bad stuff has been done in his name! And me and Stentato got a lot of shit on Devisiun because people decided we were cursed and brought bad luck. It's why we left. But if you look at everything people have tried to do 'in the name of Primus', it's like... really no pattern beyond what those people conveniently thought would be good! Good for them. And if Primus didn't strike them down, but didn't stop the good things people do in his name...

...then he really can't care, right?

 

Again that all sounds very surreal. Almost as much as having lived in Tai-Tastigon. That city was full of gods, or at least beings viewed as them, and I had been told there was solely one god.

 

Sounds like yooooour god is a jealous liar!

 

Perhaps. I'm not allowed to pick another, though. Or to otherwise forsake this one. God chose us and that's simply that.

 

Yeah, definitely sounds like a jerk. Sorry about your god!

 

Why apologize? It's not your fault that we were chosen.

 

Ahh
All my plating itches
My fans hitch
Bring me my medical grade Life Support
My allergy to religion is acting up again.

 

-he leans down to pat her head-
There, there, Captain. I'll make sure those nasty gods can't get you. As for the plating itch... why, that sounds just like a disease common in a bots first two centuries. Are you sure you're not younger than you claim?
-he winks-

 

-she not so gently punches him in the side-
It happens to have overlapping symptoms with that other disease you get from being constantly surrounded by mechs who've barely grown their kibble. That rubs off you know.

 

(The Judge prowls around Nichrome)
I could offer to cover you in cat hair, esteemed mechanical speaker. Tout le monde knows that no religion can pass through an ample amount of cat hair.

 

-he flicks her in the arm-
Oh, is that your official diagnosis, Medic Nichrome? Mine is that your plating is trying to jump off because it's old enough to know better and you apparently aren't.

 

-pets the smol kitty with a single fingertip very very carefully-
Hair in my vents seems like a terrible idea right now but thank you for the offer small organic.

Really now? Maybe I should take a page out of Lord Starscream's book then and get a frame rebuilt. Put a few more spikes on. Relive those days of my youth. You know back in my day, all the cool kids got a new pauldron spike whenever they managed to down a whole cannister of engex at the bar.

 

You know you can't just make things up whole cloth, right? Cloudcrusher was around back in your day, too, and he can confirm or deny. And if they all drank like you, their pauldrons would be nothing but spikes.

...and if you make me redo your entire frame, you will owe me. My salary doesn't cover entire cosmetic remodels.

 

Maybe Cloudcrusher went to different bars than me?
Also, spoilsport, I'll remind you of that concept of being indebted when I enrich the ship's budget by a whole space station's worth of valuables.

 

yes!!! cover your frame in dicks!!! do it, do it, do it! do it!

[shia lebeouf voice] JUST DO IT!!!

 

Mmm, I suppose that's likely. If he bothered going to bars at all instead of drinking some crazy homebrew out in the field.

And I think Sarge will get more than you. In fact, I'd be willing to bet on it.

...no. Not enough money, sexual favors, rare equipment or any combination of the above in the universe.

 

Is that so?
I'm willing to bet you a bottle of what knocked Congessi on her aft last shift that I'm going to win more than Cloudcrusher!

Not that kind of spike though I am fairly sure some bolt-helms also did that.

Now you're just being boring.

 

I'll take you up on that! My forfeit will be - hmm.

Oh really? Well, if you think I'm that boring, I don't suppose a repeat of that situation with Swiftwing and Jetski appeals. I'll have to come up with something better if you win. Like maybe... a little more active participation, if you agree, darling?
-looks at @Jetski of Lake Depolito-