ask anything about DID

Pendulum is what?

 

pendulum is basically a crystal on a string, you ask it a question, if it swings in...I think a circle, it means one thing, if it goes back and forth, it means another. it's been a while since I used one and I can't remember which means yes and which means no, but similar to tarot, it's a divination thing, and it's really not a reliable way to find out if you're a system. a psychiatrist is the only reliable way to learn if you're a system, but I still feel bad about the shitstorm this poor person is caught in now.

 

Oh, that kind of pendulum. My brain completely rejected the idea of a blog about divination pendulums for some reason. I guess I'm more tired than I thought.

 

they definitely exist and are a thing. maybe you are more tired than you thought, or maybe your brain just rejected the idea of someone asking a pendulum if they're a system...mine did at first...

 

I honestly at first thought a pendulum was a name for a person of some particular kind, as a system is a person with DID - or a group of persons? A group of individuals who are one person? Caterpillar words cannot convey butterfly thoughts.

Anyway, my imagination actually got me disappointed that the real answer was some thing as 'mundane' as a magical divination technique ^_^

 

same! exactly the same. I was like, "...oh, must be some kind of system terminology," and cA's post kinda made sense even with that understanding, so. it makes a lot more sense now, though. :P

 

hmmmm. I think it would a collection of persons, who are all from the same individual but are not the same person anymore?
but that is an interesting reading, and I wish it had been that...that would've been way more interesting.

 

I'll follow your lead on that. I was kinda referencing Robert Anton Wilson, who occasionally refers to different identities a character may appear under in his books as "the same person, but not the same individual," but I think the reverse makes an equal amount of sense.

 

.....my mind is confused by 'the same person, but not the same individual'. please explain what this means?
.....or maybe I'm just in need of sleep. though I doubt that. I slept all day :P

 

Conversely to some of the other people here, I find it hard to imagine not having memories reaching back throughout pretty much all of my life. The thought of it being anyway otherwise is incredibly scary to me, and I don't know how I would ground myself without that knowledge of who I was and where I came from. It always shocks me that so many people here have that experience of not being able to remember a lot of their childhood at all, and even though I know the reasons in theory it's hard to grok how a one could just... Not have memories from an entire era of life like that, because my brain cannot understand in internal terms how that information could be discarded.

But I guess that's just my privilege for not having had to grow up with any trauma or dissociation issues.

 

I think it means the same as "the same individual but not the same person" would, since those terms are roughly synonymous. (the use in the books had to do with secret occult cabals like the Illuminati and stuff, or like how people online can present as very different personas from their day-to-day, face-to-face selves)

 

I mean, to me it's just...normal. but it could be part of where my identity struggles stem from. I've never considered that before.

huh. I think I get it? that sounds like a cool series....what's it called?

 

The original book is Illuminatus! Or, the Illuminatus Trilogy, but it's only really available in an omnibus edition. It was kind of a mind-bender for me, ymmv.

There are thematic sequels, the Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy and the Historical Illuminatus series (left unfinished). They continue the themes of interrogating our experience of the world and what we call "reality," with au versions of the original characters or their ancestors, rather than directly extending the plot.

Problematic content is definitely in there (having been written in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, some ideas that were radically progressive are very antiquated; also Wilson got a bad impression of feminism as a whole from the radical branches of his time, a bit like being put off by terfs or tumblrkids) but despite that I find the books to be mind-expanding.

 

I relate to this. I did grow up with trauma, but my memories go way back with no conspicuous blank spots at all, and I can't imagine... well, I can imagine not remembering things before school age, I guess? But I can't imagine what it would be like to have my memories start any older than that. Sometimes I've heard apparently-neurotypical people say that they don't remember being younger than 10, and that really freaks me out.

 

Hi. Very late to this thread but I took the test and got a 49.9 on it. Dunno where that 0.1 came off, but I don't think that it's relevant. I have a lot of other stuff going on in my brain (ADHD, Asperger's, and probably more) and while it does sometimes feel like there are multiple people living in my head, it's still just different aspects of me. I do think that there's probably something going on there. I am a total hypochondriac as well so I can never be sure if I am just thinking of stuff that doesn't exist. Plus, while it does feel like I need to sit back and let one of these other people take control, I'm always still aware of what's going on. I don't have any real memory gaps (except sometimes in the middle of conversation, and things the mind just blurs out like boring drives) and have definitely not had any sort of severe trauma. The only thing I can think of that may have caused some dissociation was

Spoiler

when my dog Zara died I felt like I had to put on my happy face, while also being able to do schoolwork and stay focused AND not exhaust my energy from being social. That felt like I was splitting apart and that's when I started feeling a bit like there were a bunch of people in my head.

So if there are any people in my headspace (hope I'm using that right) then there are only about 3 and they're more like fragments of myself. Which, while not DID, is probably something I should get checked out. Is there such a thing as fragmented personality disorder? Who knows. I do feel like the people in my head do have a place a bit like the headquarters from Inside Out

 

I don't know, I thought everyone had a bunch of voices in their head. I don't hear shit but it's there, it's like my own thoughts but with a different signature attached to it

 

I'm paranoid now. Also while reading this thread I took a couple of tests for other brain stuff that could be related.

Spoiler

Pre-diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid | Moderate
Schizoid | High
Schizotypal | Very High
Antisocial | Moderate
Borderline | High
Histrionic | Moderate
Narcissistic | Moderate
Avoidant | Very High
Dependent | Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive | High

Major Depression: High
Dysthymia: Moderate
Bipolar Disorder: Extremely High
Cyclothymia: Extremely High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: High
Postpartum Depression: N/A

And does it count as voices in your head if you don't hear them but they're not your thoughts

 

have you come across this thread also?

 

I hadn't and I'm glad you directed me to that

 

@Technicality - the autopersonification thread exists for this exact reason: what you described just now is actually pretty common, but there isn't really a widespread vocabulary for discussing it, and I think that's why a lot of people who don't actually have DID convince themselves and/or others that they do. Glad to have you with us :)