shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

^a lusus is a custodial monster
^lots of them are very territorial
^my mom is out flying right now, and i don't think she'd get mad at you unless you threatened me, so you're good
^don't steal food from her, though

^essentially, yes

 

I don't know what "honor-bound" means. is that something good. I just know that when I see one of those big heavy featherless birds eating stuff. I gotta take it. it's for me

 

I am starting to question your having called me a man now. You don't seem to understand much at all, save your obligation to steal food.

 

/bares her fangs at the seagull

^if you take my food i will turn you into food. understood? MINE.

 

*casually leaves a sandwich out next to her. it's cut into neat little triangles*

 

Uh, never?

That's not a thing I ever really wanna do.

I mean, yeah, sure, there are other kinds of screaming I like to do, but... not that kind. Not screaming in victory when I get myself some food.

 

I'm a bird dude. I don't know shit about shit

*ANXIOUS SCREAMING* hey man take it easy. we're all pals here. how big did you say your mom monster was again

 

Wherever my sister is she has surely started laughing at me.

 

^good to see we understand each other
^and my mom's bigger than you, and very defensive of me

 

I don't understand. what about after you steal the long potatoes. how do you celebrate and tell your pal to fuck off. because they're your long potatoes now. without screaming

 

the bird poses a vwalid question.

 

... uh, I don't. I don't do any of that.

 

At least I can live with knowing that the only person dumber than I is you.

 

you'd make a terrible seagull

 

That's why I'm a genie instead.

 

I'm glad that's not the social protocol at the Pines'. If it was, I'd have yet another reason to avoid being in the dining room at mealtimes.

 

I don't know what that is. is that like a lusus mom monster. are you territorial. should I leave

 

look, im not saying that *i* steal FOOD from people. its just funny to svwipe things and vwatch them scramble to get it back vwhile you havwe a good chuckle. or, in this birds case, a good vwictory screech.

 

I'm not a mom monster. Or territorial.

And that makes you less of an asshole how?

 

*covertly speed-walks up to sandwiches* hey thanks man *suddenly snatches the triangles and SWOOPS INTO THE AIR, SCREECHING IN VICTORY* aw fuck *coughs, chokes, postpones screeching until prize is no longer in mouth*