shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

Like you had to with your trinemates? Gosh they sure are pretty damn dead aren't they? And whose fault is that? Oh and I wouldn't even have started ratting your promises out those are pretty fragging boring if I do say so myself but Life Support did tell you an awful lot of things all hush hush, didn't he?
And that little brat, Lacuna. My I bet she'd just love to hear all about how much of a big security hole you are. Must be so comforting for her to know that she's the only one who gets no confidentiality since she can't talk out loud.

 

!

 

-deadpan-
Oh no. Y'guessed my trine's gone. What an astounding deduction fer a flyer in combat. Woulda never thought you coulda come up with that one. Yeah, it ain't the greatest, but that's an old hurt, kiddo. As for the other two - if slag comes out, the Cap'll deal, but unless you stuck bugs in his hab, don't know how much y'could hear. We don't do much talkin' 'less I'm kneelin' an' he wants to keep me there.

As fer Lacuna - kiddo, y'aint even on board yet to hear what she's sayin'. When y'are, there's workarounds. You missed again. Are y'tryin' to annoy me or make me roll my optics at you? Cause only one yer succeeding at.

 

workarounds that all hinge on me being cooperative and actually wanting to stop hearing things more than I want to piss people off. The processor ache might suck but there is few things I wouldn't do out of spite. There's fewer things I wouldn't do to prove a point. And I'm starting to think you must not be very competent at your job if you can't tell when someone's a lost cause.

 

Look. Hon- kiddo. Part of my job? Knowin' ain't no one a lost cause, 'less they're dead. Everybody can always improve. If they want to. You ain't ready to improve right now - an' if you ain't, you ain't, nothin' else to it. Door is open, if y'want it. In the meantime? I can take what y'can throw at me.

(An' no, d'you think I'm scrap for brains? Workarounds like typin' what she needs to say for privacy, then wipin' it afterwards. I can give her extra time if she needs, cause typin' takes longer. It's called accommodation. Y'can get it too, or somethin' like it, if y'need.)

 

I thought you were the one guy I could count on to figure I'm more than just that unfortunately useful extra sense, but guess I overestimated you. You presume I would just passively refuse to cooperate, but this is starting to piss me off and I'm actually capable of quite more than you seem to think.
Ugh. Just get it over with and punch me already and put me back in my place this is getting boring.

 

-he blinks-
Well, yeah, 'course yer more than that. Don't know how I gave y'the impression I thought otherwise, but I'm sorry for it. Yer a person an' you contain multitudes. Sure yer capable of more - y'ain't stupid, an' it'd be stupid t' show off yer full capacity at first, with strangers. Y'want people to underestimate you. Really, though. Ain't much y'can say that'll get to me - the one thing that'd do it, I don't think you'll say. But hey - prove me wrong. I'm old, I like gettin' my assumptions all shook up.

Y'ain't given me no reason to punch you, either. 'Less y'try to kill me, in a place where that could happen - so I mean, not this one - I don't do that no more. Shootin' range is for fun, not t' save my life no more.

 

Or. Y'all could not do with the arguing thing in here, is'at an option? Take five, lookit some cute critters, simmer down...

Spoiler: image spam

 

I'd gathered, and because of that you are failing. I have to care what you say to be annoyed by it, and I no longer do. You would like us all to think that you're in communication with our enemies in multiple dimensions, but you're actually full of shit.

I may be a six-fingered grey-floofed weirdo (actually, I rather like that description), but...does anyone in your own dimension (or your dimension of choice) actually give a damn what happens to you?

 

HEY! That's a low blow! Back off!

 

-raises hand-
Me. Not sayin' anybody else has to, but I do.

 

Spoiler: references to sexual assault cw

Oh no of course I haven't given you reason to punch me yet. Wouldn't want to put a dent in a face you might want to frag later right? Wouldn't've thought you were the type but I guess C.O. is C.O.

 

I'd care what happens to him!

 

Frag off. Or I'll knock you out.

The people who can use me care. That's what you do with tools. You make sure no one breaks them completely.

Oh please, frag off.

why would you? frag off leave me alone what the frag is wrong with you?

 

...gonna have'ta go with Lacuna over yonder, that... is kinna more spectacularly awful'n I thought. I mean. I ain't tryna say Stanford's gotta do jack-all just 'cos we say so! Honest! Jus'. Not. That ain't really helpin' matters? If helpin's even a thing on Stanford's mind, which... admittedly, I got no way'a knowin' an' it ain't really my business anyhow...

Knock yerself out. I c'n stop talkin' atcha though, if that'll help? Sorry.

 

You know, you're really fucked up. You might not care about him or like him, but there's some things you don't do. There's some buttons you don't hit. Even Pellmell wouldn't have said that! Even Flimflam!

 

I mean they'd have just shot him if they hated him that much, admittedly.

 

If I'm makin' you uncomfortable, tell me. I'll back off. But for the record, I got all the partners I want, an' they're willin'. Y'ain't my type.

Won't be alone with you if you don't want it, though. Backin' off now. Come find me if y'want to talk some more, but I ain't pushin'.

 

Oh, wonderful, exactly what we need. Please, let's perpetuate -
-he is interrupted by Cloudcrusher taking him to the ground and sitting on him-

 

[Scanner glares at Cogwheels long and hard.
Cogwheels will have the equivalent of twenty different autoplaying flashing video+audio pop-ups directly on his holographic user interface, forcing themselves upon his processor.]