sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

@LadyNighteyes Let's thank god your dad hasn't tried to make hummus yet.

 

Eh, he'd have trouble topping the kim chi.

 

waht

 

My dad eats hummus out of a bowl by the spoonful and is rather notoriously not a good cook.

 

Connie has a bit of a crush on Pearl. Nothing major or serious, of course--the kind of crush a kid might get on their favorite teacher or some such. She's hesitant to mention it to Steven, but Steven would be understanding.

 

It's a tradition for moirail pairs to show their trust by simultaneously playing the Knife Game on each other's hands.

 

Nepeta did it with all of her claws on a clove rather than just one knife, Equius tried but accidentally snapped the blade off the knife with his first stab.

 

@Quicksilver and I just spent like an hour trying to figure out the genetics of dragon colors in Pern and I thought this thread needed to know that.

 

My best theory so far is that shininess (gold/bronze, depending on sex) is determined by an incompletely dominant allele. But the mother reabsorbs eggs that get too large to protect itself, so homozygous SS embryos are basically never viable because they'd be huge, and Ss embryos aren't viable in the smaller green dragons. Thus all golds and bronzes are heterozygous Ss, and can have both shiny and non-shiny babies. Additionally, dragons operate on a ZZ/ZW sex-determination system, and there's a gene on the Z chromosome which has one variant that partially inhibits the shiny gene if the dragon has two copies, so a male that's homozygous for the inhibitor allele and heterozygous for shininess will come out as a brown rather than a bronze. There are gold/bronze pairings that can't produce browns, but the allele is pretty common so most of them can.

 

I can list sun sign headcanons for characters with no canon birthdays all day.

 

humanstuck vantases ask the amporas out for a friendly game of laser tag. unbeknownst to them, the amporas take laser tag seriously as BALLS. kankri ends up with a black eye because he gets brained with one of the guns. NO MERCY

at least it's better than the time the nitrams challenged them to paintball. no one had to go to the hospital this time

 

I'm not sure if this was intended to be canon, but there are hints in Hetalia that the nations can walk across entire continents in minutes; we see England walking across various European backgrounds without any changes to his appearance and next minute he's in Japan. The potential for fun with this is enormous; for one thing it means they can meet up a lot more often.

 

Amethyst swears constantly when Steven's not around.

 

I think it's relevant that I've seen this post tagged "more canon than canon."

 

Italy Veneziano can echolocate. Well, he walks around with his eyes shut constantly going "ve~" and in the dub he claims he can navigate by Japan's screaming when he drives.

 

Reaper from Overwatch leaves obnoxious comments on Nightwish videos on Youtube about how Anette and Floor are evil usurpers and Tarja is the one true singer and everything the band has produced without her is GARBAGE, GARBAGE.

 

Reaper sends anon hate to Overwatch fanblogs in his free time.

I mean, he's an asshole who grew up with the internet. He's gotta be some shade of fun ruiner.

 

Reinhardt rickrolls people. Constantly.

 

Autistic people in the Mass Effect universe who have trouble with tone have adopted the elcor way of speaking amongst themselves (e.g. "Happily: I am so excited for you.")

(If you're not into Mass Effect: "Elcor speech is heard by most species as a flat, ponderous monotone. Among themselves, scent, extremely slight body movements, and subvocalized infrasound convey shades of meaning that make a human smile seem as subtle as a fireworks display. Since their subtlety can lead to misunderstandings with other species, the elcor prefix all their dialog with non-elcor with an emotive statement to clarify their tone." From the wiki)

 

Sarcastic understatement: It's a bit useful, from time to time.