shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Uh~.
Progress~?
If things couldn't die things couldn't get born~.
Things couldn't eat~.
Things couldn't, I dunno, get rid of intestinal parasites~.
Death is pretty great, properly applied~.

 

you could havwe said no POLITELY, at the VWERY least. i havwe FEELINGS.

 

FEELINGS WHICH I CAN DESTROY!!!

 

HA. id like to see you try.

 

I THINK I ALREADY SUCCEEDED, ACTUALLY!

 

Valiska smiles at her. "Well...all I really do is brush them, but...when you eat raw meat, do you chew on the bones? It's dangerous to eat cooked bones, they'll splinter, but it's really good for your teeth if you eat little bones when you're eating fresh meat. Fish bones, too. I'm as lazy as anyone else but I try to get a little bone every now and a gain, though...omnivores and vegetarians don't like to watch you do it very much."

 

uh, you clearly didnt. seeing as my feelings are still VWERY MUCH present.

 

YEAH BUT YOU NO LONGER HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME!

 

Ford makes a face. "There's more than enough room in the multiverse, it's a big place. I don't see any reason why intelligent, sapient beings should have to stop living just because their cells are old. But...you may have a different perspective on this when you're as old as I am."

 

you cant destroy vwhat vwas nevwer there, buddy.

 

I RETROACTIVELY DESTROYED THEM!

 

What, you think I'm gonna hold myself back from whatever the next step is to hang on longer to this crappy place~?
I don't want to die~.
But I'm not scared of it~.

-She looks at him sidelong.-

 

it started with just one giant bee

the botanists loved him, he was fluffy, really lovable, affectionate, and a huge ASSet to hydroponics

but then they flew too close to the sun

using the cash they earned from selling weed to the crew, they ordered more and more honey production crates from the quartermaster

as demand for weed increased, so did the number of bees needed to grow it all

soon, the two botanists were unable to control the colony, amd it spread throughout the entire station

but the bees need to eat. if they don't, they become angry.

they devoured everyone, i barely made it to the escape pods in one piece

course, it didn't help everyone was too stoned to fight back

and you can't slip the fuckers with banana peels 'cause they can fly

i could hardly beelieve my eyes

*the clown honks sadly*

 

Bees? Used to grow weed? That eat people?

... okay...

 

Also, you didn't clarify intelligent, sapient~.
I still don't see why that makes it a big deal~.
But when I say I'm pro-death, I'm talking on a bigger scale, as a force of nature and agent of change~.
Not 'hey let's do a genocide' scale~.
Which is sort of unfortunate, considering where I'm fron~.

 

no, i vwas just faking because it looked like i had an opportunity.

 

YOU WILL NEVER HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY!

EVER!

WITH ANYONE!

 

vwowv, THATS harsh.

and untrue.

but mostly harsh and cruel. douche.

 

it makes sense because it's in SPACE

 

*licks his lips* Getting a little bone in your mouth ain't that weird. *sighs* And no, this is only half a sex thing. The other half's, well, actually about eating.

Yeah, really. Really.