shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

-Mituna looks entirely too pleased with himself, the offending wisp of redblue energy whizzing back up to join the rest of the lightshow. His smugness gradually dissipates, replaced with an expression of pure wtf. Burlesque is right, this is just too good. He's got a million -no, two million- questions but, true to form, the stupidest of the lot is the one to come out.-

h0w 4r3 y0u l07 n07 d34d????

 

as a captain of an imperial ship, im obligated to givwe you the spiel about the many merits of consensually joining the beforan empire. including, but not limited to, free healthcare, guaranteed consistent nourishment, and caretaking of the old, sick, and physically slash genetically defectivwe. you havwe nothing to lose from becoming a part of us, and evwerything to gain, yada yada.

 

...I don't really understand~.
There aren't castes~?
People don't decide what you 'should be' based on how you're hatched~?

 

h0w 4r3 y0u n07 d34d??

 

The other one said they keep the defective as pets~.
That sounds more likely, right~?

 

vwhy VWOULD i be dead? im barely in my 60s.

 

0hhhh. 7h47 m4k35 53n53.

 

Your accent tells me everything I need to know about what this actually entails.

But please, tell me more.

 

culled trolls are provwided vwith a quality of lifestyle that vwould not be possible vwere they simply left to fend for themselvwes, as lusii cannot furnish such poor, COMPLETELY unable to do literally anything for themselvwes, trolls vwith the proper amount of care. the culling system vwas designed by her imperial kindness herself to ensure that no troll is left behind. *He recites his lines with a bored drawl that makes it completely obviously what he thinks of the culling policy.*

becoming an official extrabeforan citizen entitles you to all the benefits natural-hatched beforan citizens havwe and more. if you're not sure yet, don't vworry. you vwill alvways havwe the choice to join, no matter howv unfriendly to the idea you may be at first.

(do you think ill get fired if i skip the song.)

 

Yes. You will absolutely get fired if you skip the song. Better sing it, just in case.

 

cull3d 7r0ll5?? 15n'7 17 k1nd 0f 4n717h371c4l 70 1mply 7h47 d34d p30pl3 h4v3 4 'l1f357yl3'??

 

There are some real creepy people who use the vw typing quirk ; )

Doesn't mean everyone who uses the quirk is a creep tho :)

..But in this case your hunch was right at least ; )

 

(please dont make me sing the song.)

 

*chanting* Sing the song! Sing the song!

 

There is a particular quality of attitude that lends itself to that quirk of speech, yes. I would not go so far as to claim it is an indicator of 'creepiness', but it certainly means that whoever I'm talking to is about to become utterly delightful in the worst way.

Yes, we really do need to hear the song.

 

*He puts a hand over the golden badge on his shirt.*

look, do you really vwant four minutes of that? i dont think you vwant four minutes of that. *i* dont vwant four minutes of that.

 

There is literally nothing I want more in my life at this moment than to listen to four minutes of that.

 

*chanting* Four minutes of that! Four minutes of that!

 

for the lovwe of--fine. fine. ill sing the damn song. are you proud of yourselvwes? are you proud of vwhat youvwe accomplished?

 

*smirks* Very.