shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Just being thorough. *sips his coffee*

 

Sorry.

 

Would you prefer having a conversation from a distance? Even though I'd never deliberately hurt you, I think that can make some people feel better. Sorry. I'm used to socializing with people I can't hurt.

 

Quickest route, ain't it? And uh, wwhy should I stop?? Gimme a reason, buoy, wwhy I gotta suddenly start playin' nice. This is the wway things are, an' lemme help you wwork out wwhy that lil plan ain't in my interests.

This wooden slat ascender I'm climbing?? It's a long and a splinterin' and a hemoglobin-slippery wwreck an' the wwaaaaaay tippy-top is a feedin' frenzy. I get up there and I don't bite back, then I might as wwhale be telling evveryone that I'm anglin' to get eaten up like a pile a chum. Wwanna knoww wwhen evveryone playin' pretty wworks in my favvor? Wwhen I'm the only one a them fuckers fightin'.

So yeah, it'd be great if evveryfishy swwam all toothless and pretty-like for us sharks, but the fact a the matter is that only predators havve evver oar wwill evver get that far.

 

You know, if more people actually stopped and said "hey this isn't okay" there's be less of the not-okay shit going around, right? Like, violence doesn't help. It really fucking doesn't. And call me a hypocrite for that all you want, because God knows I do a handy bit of violence myself, but all it does is make everyone else more violent too.

Besides, I bet there's a lot of reasons why the top is filled with vicious fucking people. And I bet that it's not because all the people below are toothless and scared. You keep up with the violence for violence's sake, and sooner or later all the prey are gonna strike back.

And then where will you be?

 

question- are any of you docs familiar with GBS?

i have a bit of a problem

 

He sighs and takes another sip from his cup.
"Whatever happened to making yourself seem utterly unthreatening so your enemies turn their attentions upon the bigger and badder threats, leaving you free to nudge them into mutually assured destruction while you are waiting with a forged will, ready to take up all their duties and estates if needed?"

 

IT'S THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR, WHEN ALL THE STORES ARE FILLED WITH SKELETONS.

 

Oh shit, that's right. Pumpkin spice season, coming up.

 

*grins* I think it's a bit premature, but all that means is that my... *facepalms* no, no, I'm not gonna say that. It sounded really smart and witty in my head, yeah, but now I've thought about it for more than one sec, it just sounds embarrassing. *sighs* Sex jokes: harder than they sound.

 

THAAAAAAAT'S RIGHT
*shakes mason jar full of orange spice mix*

 

SHAME ON YOU

 

WERE YOU GOING TO MAKE A BONER JOKE, NORM? I WON'T BE MAD IF YOU WERE. I MIGHT EVEN LAUGH!!!

 

*laughs* ... well, at least I sorta succeeded at something there.

 

AFTER ALL, THIS IS A FESTIVE SEASON! EVERYBODY CELEBRATING BONES AND DECISIONS.

WELL, NOT EVERYBODY. BUT ENOUGH PEOPLE!

DECORATIONS NOT DECISIONS! THERE'S NOT MUCH TO DECIDE, EXCEPT WHAT COOL COSTUMES TO WEAR.

 

Uh, kinda. Not exactly. A joke about my dick, anyway. *sighs* And not one that would be particularly flattering to it.

Premature Halloween decorating, premature ejaculation, basically...

Bones and... decisions? You mean, like, trick or treat?

 

You remind me of this one kid working with overwatch.
Disgusting.

 

Do you want whipped cream with that?

 

Exactly like the little twerp, hair and all.

 

THAT JOKE WOULD HAVE GONE RIGHT OVER MY HEAD.
(DO I WANT TO ASK WHAT PREMATURE EJACULATION IS.)
BUT THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS PREMATURE DECORATIONS!!!

SWIRL'S AUTOCORRECT IS TERRIBLE. I NEED TO GET A BETTER PHONE. ONE THAT HAS MY FONT ON IT.