shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

"Sometimes bad news is fun," Damson says. "but Cronus in all the versions I've seen is more like shoveling shit. It's dirty work and nobody wants to do it."

 

plenty of people vwanna do me. theres at least TVWO people in here vwho vwould do me at a moments notice, and a third person vwhos already had sex vwith me.

 

"Well, I guess they always do find people who don't mind shoveling shit," Damson responds in a monotone.

 

"I don't mind shoveling shit if I'm helping the horses keep their home cleaned up," Paz says with a shrug, "but I see no adorable ponies in his general direction. I don't even see any obnoxious unicorns."

 

now my social skills might be a bit rusted but its my understanding that if you catch a glimpse of a body going au naturale without an intent to you dont comment on what you see

so few years and im still giving a lecture on etiquette to a fossil someone call the smithsonian its a miracle someone survived the extinction burst sixty-five million years ago and he never got to learn good manners

and where do you get off saying jack fucking shit about my hypothetical pain like damn if i wanted to open a vein and tell you my life story i woulda dreamt up a fainting couch and a box of hankies and done it by now

[She resists the urge to facepalm. No one here knows how to play along with a joke and now she's fucking trapped. Time for chemistry puns?]

im made of poly girlfriend every cell of my body relies on polypeptide bonds to function yup you gotta love that poly

...

no flowers don't do anything to eliminate manly aura trust me ive tried

 

"Horses are better than most people," Damson judges. "so I'll give you that. And riding is worth it. I'll gladly do nasty jobs if they pay back by letting me have fun later."

 

tampons lipstick tasers feminism.

hows that?

 

"Great, you know words," says Paz. "Now let's see you use them in an actual sentence."

 

youre right, tvwo people in here havwe had sex vwith me. my mistake.

 

[She stares at him for a second and then starts cackling.]

well when you put it that way color me seduced take me away buttercup and show me the way to pleasure town

dude if you werent so deadass sincere about that we could be friends but no you gotta be desperate and thirsty like a giant greasy newt lost in the mojave whatta tragedy for me and you both

 

*more wing fluttering*
Refractor also thinks so :P

 

"Good! Hey--is a trine like a conjunx, except with three people instead of two?" Ford blushes a little. "Inquiring minds would like to know."

 

Ehhhh depends on your trine. Doesn't have to be but there's no rules against it! [He grins, wings flicking a friendly greeting at Refractor.] Trine's... huh. Not a thing we gotta explain too often, really. As intimate as conjunxes or amicas yeah but not... the same? I don't know, maybe it is just an amica threeway, Primus knows me'n Curls were gonna go all official in that direction before we found Eclipse.

 

Ford nods. "I...just wondered if it's the Transformer word for what I recently found myself in," he explains. "Valiska and I fell in love with Sev. Together. At the same time."

 

There are at least three kinds of love dude you're gonna have to be more specific. (Well. I mean. When we left the first time there was also a whole bunch of legal slag about not having more than one conjunx buuut these are the same people that thought functionism was the best government ever sooo.)

...wow what's a topic. Uh. Yeah. "We were in love and then we were also both in love with our third" is pretty much how my trine happened and we do like fooling around but none of us ever really considered conjunx ritus? Like. Dude. No. That's my trine, why would I want to? [He makes an annoyed noise.] Sociologist could probably tell you better but apparently we don't have one of those.

 

*laughs playfully* Three? The Ancient Greeks had six, and I bet Ford can name them all!

 

Well yeah good old Cybertron wasn't exactly big on the whole "peace and love" shtick it's not like they wanted to give us more ways to connect to each other. Words aren't what matters for feelings anyway.

 

Spoiler: shhhh he's playing dear, don't fuss