So a couple of years ago my mom mentioned that my dad is officially diagnosed™ with bipolar disorder. As I've gotten older (I'm 24 now), I've noticed my temperament getting closer and closer to his. By that I mean, I experience: bursts of disproportionate anger to things that should only be a mild annoyance stretches of time where I feel energetic and up to taking on multiple things at once, followed by stretches where I lack motivation to do much of anything flashes of anxiety/paranoia The last one isn't terribly intense, and I can usually snap myself out of it, but the first two have been concerning me lately. It's difficult to tell if they cross the line into genuine mental illness, though. I've been trying to keep track of my menstrual cycle to determine if my moments of intense irritability are related to that. I'm an introverted person, so my energetic/lethargic cycle could just be the result of spending/regenerating energy. From inside my own head, it's hard to get a clear picture, you know? Anyway, thanks for reading, and if anyone has some thoughts I'd appreciate hearing them.
I have bipolar II and that sounds very familiar, including having a diagnosed parent and symptoms getting more noticeable the further I got into my 20s. I'm also introverted and AFAB, and some of the mood swings were tied to my menstrual cycle - which is pretty typical, since hormone surges can really mess with your head when you have brain bugs. Those energetic periods sound like hypomania, which can include surges of disproportionate anger - I believe the term of art is 'mixed states'. That it bothers you and that you notice you're falling into a pattern you recognize from your dad's experiences makes it well worth investigating. It's better to catch and treat bipolar young, as it does get progressively worse with age when it's left untreated.
From what you've said I'd say it could be, and could also be something else (cyclothymia, for example, which is considered to be 'milder' bipolar disorder, and may be a precursor or an end state - that's actually what I'd suspect, without further details, as a non-psych). Like you said, it's hard to tell from inside your head, and bipolar disorder can look like other things (including, but not limited to, other mood disorders). Given the genetic component at minimum, I would definitely get it checked out if you can, especially if it's disrupting your life. (Disclaimer: I'm a week out from getting checked out myself, and while I do not think it is bipolar, but one of those lovely conditions that can look like it, it's still on the list of possibilities. So, this is just my well-researched but unprofessional opinion).
Seems close to how my Bipolar started to present, though mine was a hair more intense (I agree with Mercury on saying it sounds like hypomania instead of full mania, which neither are fun but mania is hell). I'd say get a psych as soon as you can and get a diagnosis, if you can catch it while it hasn't progressed to 'Hello Life Sucks We're Going to Ruin' and get treatment (and coping methods) you'll be happier in the long run. Along with this, Bipolar is genetic and even if it isn't bipolar getting treatment is something you should probably try for. Personally, starting on Lithium helped punch my over-reactive anger in the ass (which is TECHNICALLY intermittent explosive disorder aka IED, which is nearly constantly a factor in Bipolar). The world is a lot smoother when your brain isn't riding a death roller coaster. but yeah, get a professional as soon as you can. Bipolar unchecked can ruin your life, and if you want a good book about bipolar check out An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison. It is amazing and helped me understand my own Bipolar so much better (mostly because hers presents a lot like mine).
Yeah, bipolar II and hypomania both sound pretty close to the kind of stuff I experience. I hadn't considered that hormone surges could be exacerbating it for some reason--though now of course that makes perfect sense. Score one for team "maybe I haven't deluded myself after all". It's weird how sometimes listening to someone with a similar story can help you recognize what's going on better than reading a list of symptoms. Cyclothymia could be a possibility, too. I'll have to ask about that once I actually get my ass to a psych's office, or see if they think it could be something else entirely. It feels odd to say "good luck with getting your head checked," but I hope you get a definitive answer/potential treatment options! Yeah, I'm lucky that it hasn't gotten to the Life Ruining stage. I've been waffling on whether to go to a professional for a while, but you and Hatchback and Mercury are right--I should try to figure out what's going on before it progresses into something that I can't handle on my own. I'll definitely check out that book, too! I live in a college town, so I'll probably take myself to the university's psych clinic before the month is out. Thanks for the feedback and advice, everyone!
