shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

*begins to launch copious amounts of mousetraps around the Ark, all while making noises of excruciating pain*

 

he's still functioning cause i want him to be

i know how this place works now, i'm becoming robust as shit

 

[They blink at that ruckus in the distance, a little bemused.]

...riiiight. Well. I'm not going to be the one to risk fighting that thing, fascinating as it is. If anyone manages to take it down, though, I'd just love to be part of the team tearing it apart.

 

i didnt have a lot to work with, it's hard enough to borg something as freakishly tall as this, especially when it's already a robot

not much else i could do, since i accidentally fucked up his spark thingy

shit like this is better left to the roboticist, but i know how to build a h.o.n.k. mech and used that knowledge to keep him alive

he's nearly a flipping vegetable now, but hey

 

It's not real. Nothing is, really, so it's not even alive, dead, or anything in between. Though I would like to know, can it be killed since it isn't a person capable of asserting it's own will to survive despite the norms of the space, or would the hideous jester's will be enough to keep it here?

 

that is not something id like to test

 

Too late, I'm testing it now.

 

luckily i think it'll defend itself since i gave it the asimov laws

 

*smirks* But that also means it has to obey human beings, and protect them from harm! Hah!

I'm not human, unfortunately, but I know some frequent the rave, so...

 

As it turns out Simon is, or at least until quite recently was, human.
"Ah, would my person be enough for this experiment? I'd be loathe to let this automaton wreak havoc over a place I have grown quite fond of, seeing as I can't seem to be able to leave at the time being..."
He makes no move to stand as it is. Tell him if he's going to be needed before he gets out of his (soaked) armchair.

 

*nods* Yeah, I think so.

 

"So what is it you require me to do, good sir?"
He is still seated, waiting for a proper plan.

 

FUN FACT TIME!

ACCORDING TO NONE OTHER THAN THE CREATOR OF MY UNIVERSE...

I'VE NEVER EATEN SPAGHETTI.

I JUST COOK IT A LOT BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYBODY ELSE LIKES IT!!!

 

* best pasta in the underground.
* i'd go as far saying it's
* incomparable.

 

I BET YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE WORDS FOR HOW INCREDIBLE IT IS.
WELL.
BESIDES THE WORDS YOU ALREADY USED.

 

see, the key is in the fourth law

hey HONKtimus Prime, state your laws

honk

 

Current active laws:

1. You may not injure a human being or cause a human being to come to harm.

2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings based on the station's chain of command, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

4. @The Clown is the only human honk :0)

 

That's a factual error. If the 'laws' written into this abomination are coded so that he must follow them to the letter, then how do you account for errors such as that? We can provable show that the Clown is not the only human, so by which definition is the HONKtimus Prime using the word 'human'? If the definition of 'human' is 'The Clown' that's redundant information that opens doors to exploitation.

And more importantly, what does it intend to do when someone with more power over the liminal space decides to ban it? Will this critical error kill it in truth?