shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

:c

:C

???????

 

You'll understand if you meet him.

 

My reproductive process consists of two things— guro and snuff. If that's vanilla to you, then you better have some bloody delicious ice cream

 

Maybe you should just give him a chance and get to know him!
Nobody can be THAT bad!

 

...S-- Primus. With all due respect-- their feelings are not mine. And I am honored to speak with He who created our world, whatever we might have done with it afterwards.

It's okay, sweetspark, really. You didn't make me help, I offered because I wanted to. [He smiles faintly.]

...Captain. Sir. Sentinel was not awarded the position of Head Of Senatorial Security for his skills as an orator, and it was he who started the descent of a decadent society to a militant one. I highly doubt he allowed his skills to rust after taking up the title of Prime.

 

*facepalms*

 

Let the sparklet be idealistic, why don't you? They'll learn quickly enough about the rest of the universe if they ever make it out of here. Let them have this.

 

*sighs* Fine. It is cute, that idealism.

 

...-blinks-
Wow that's the most respect I think I've ever gotten. Not even the original thirteen assholes cared this much.
-peers at Eclipse with interest, then frowns a little-
Don't think I recognise your spark sig, though.

 

[He preens for a moment-- and then parses the last line.

Eclipse does not cringe, but he does abruptly become comparatively tiny. Roughly human-sized, but tiny compared to his normal height.]

I-- oh, Primus, I-- I am unworthy, I should not-- I know, I'm not-- I don't-- I'm--

I am sorry, Lord of Light, I should not besmirch Your holy presence with my existence, I-- I should-- oh just kill me now and have done

 

-looks at him with utter confusion-
...You all right down there?

 

Alright I see your point but what if I still think it would be more interesting to actually see that fight happen than to just speculate on what might happen?

 

Hey man, look if he says anything about that I'll punch him even though he doesn't exist, okay?

 

.... Why do you say my parent doesn't exist? And that you'd punch him? >:C

 

Aw sweetpark. Not everything can be fixed with hugs. I´m sorry.

 

But... most things can, right? At least a lot of things? :c

 

You call the Death Battle guys from Command, and have them simulate the fight with science.

 

guro and snuff vwith one person is more vwanilla than if its in a threesome. thats simple fetish logic.

 

But what if we just have them fight it out the traditional way? That's way easier.

 

[He tries to force himself larger. It doesn't work. Damn dream logic.]
...I function, my lord.

Sir, you can't-- I can't-- he's Primus, for Pr-- for as little as that means to you!