shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

-she just sighs and buries her face in his shoulder-

 

But everyone knows you have sparks! That's the crux of the issue! People are dumb!

 

Not just MTOs cutie but HEY PRIMUS ALL OF THIS.

If anyone knows where cold-con sparks come from it's not available to us low-tier neutral traitors but that sure as shooting never stopped any functionist from trying to claim that anyone who went from freezer to frame in ten minutes wasn't a real mech, or that we're filthy blasphemous leeches or disgraces to the name of Primus or abominations or--

[He hisses static and grabs at Eclipse's hand.]

[Venture's voice goes arsenic-sweet.] Oh, sweetspark, didn't you know? A true forging needs heat, so every single frozen spark is just a soulless power-source only good for disposables, soldiers, and drones!

 

I most regret being mute in this moment, such that I cannot make a farting sound in response to that rhetoric, as that is the level of dignified response it deserves.

 

Maybe because the Prime is some sorta god king? And is known for his fighting prowess?

I'm assuming Nichrome meant for the battle to be between two living combatants. And that version of Sentinel Prime is dead.

 

[Eclipse turns to prop his chin against Venture's shoulder.]

Hey. Hey. Maybe not with the angry? Not-- not His fault.

 

'K so I'm gonna be making some godly pronouncements here, hang on a tick.
-he clears his vocalizer, and grows to bigger than any of them, a huge, imposing, glowing figure-

I. No One Is Cursed
II. No One Is Sparkless Unless They Like, Literally Have No Spark, In Which Case That's Obvious
III. No One Is An Abomination
IV. No One Is Soulless Because Dude I Like Provided All Of Your Souls And I Would Know Soulless When I Saw It Take It From Me
V. I Didn't Say Any Of That Slag Thank You Very Much

 

Eh, the bigots are just going to say it wasn't you who said any of that stuff just now.

 

[church is completely ignored, as juice is now using the oversized clown nose as a noisy trampoline]

 

I. Well What The Frag Do You Want Me To Do About That Then
II. I Don't Know One Minute It's 'Oh Primus Where Were You You Could Have Changed Things' The Next It's 'You Won't Change Anything You Know'.

 

[Oh no. He's sparking now. Eclipse covers his face with his hands, but it doesn't quite cover the light, his shaky smile, or the way his wings perk up and flutter against Venture's.]

I don't know what I did to deserve this miracle but by-- by You I'm not going to question good luck. Thank you, thank you, thank you--

 

Ten robots, eleven opinions.

 

I'm... finding this extremely attractive. I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

 

[Nichrome stares at Primus, a little bit in awe.]

 

... including that one. *backs away slowly*

 

I. It Just Gets A Bit Depressing After A While, Know What I Mean?

II. -Large Godly Wink-

III. -notices this, and remembers to shrink back to normal size
Nothing whatsoever. -griiiins-

 

*sighs* Yeah. I know about depressing.

 

I have a feeling that saying that we have a prior relationship isn't going to help my case here. Although I will say the voice is less impressive when he's saying more mundane things.

 

-Libre has been watching the exchange from a hideyhole. he now slowly crawls out and immediatedly darts behind Nichrome, which is singularly ineffective since not only are they nearly the same size, his wings give him away.-

 

Yeah. It's not.