Requesting Funny Pet Stories

cats are perf little shitheads and fuzzy little bastards <3

 

Cat anecdote: I have dissociation troubles so I sometimes forget when it's food time for the cats. Luckily, Therapy Cat will always come by at five pm to meow at me and remind me it's time for dinner! It's always Therapy Cat, and never her associate, Anxious Cat; Anxious Cat just waits by the foodbowls for Therapy Cat to come back with me in tow. I have snapped out of dissociation to find Therapy Cat's paw on my arm and many meows. (Usually just the meows are enough, but she knows that if I am particularly hard to reach that cat touch helps. She is a Very Good And Helpful Cat.) Most people would probably find it annoying but for me it is a helpful reminder!!

 

Syd the Bearded Dragon (full title Lord Sydney, Count of Carramar and Earl of the Eastern Reaches) gets Very Excite about insect feeding time. So excite, in fact, that if you don't have the vivarium door closed at the time then he will launch himself into empty space in the effort to more quickly obtain nummy roaches.

This worked fine when he was small - he would just land on my hand or in the container to nomnom all bugses. Now he's about 20'inches long and fully grown, if I'm not paying attention then he will crash into my wrist and send bugs flying and give me a nice set of scratches in the process of realising This Was A Terrible Mistake Help.

I love my doofy lizard. He is a sweetie, but not the brightest scale on the hide XD

 

@Salted Earth one of my mom's dogs, Miss Piggy, used to make sure I knew when her water bowl was empty, by picking it up and bringing it to me. and dropping it on me if I was asleep. tbh, it got me out of bed on days where I might not have been able to bc depression

@PotteryWalrus that reminds me of when my cat was little, and would play Big Game Hunter w mom's other dog, Peter, as the big game. naturally Peter was Not Pleased w being hunted, but put up w it w astounding dignity, even as the cat would come bounding up out of nowhere, leap at his side intending to pounce, but forget to put her paws out in front of her so she ended up smacking face first into his ribs. needless to say, Peter really Does Not Like cats anymore

 

steve had another unsanctioned outdoor adventure this morning. after an initial 'oh thank god you're here it's so BIG outside don't mind me i'm just going to stick my entire body to you, quick let's go back inside'-type reaction when i found him, he has decided that he likes the great outdoors after all, and is loudly protesting my oppressive reign, like he didn't just spend ten minutes hiding under the porch because he was scared of a squirrel. i love this stupid cat

 

I want to tell you about Azalea. She was a chow mix, and apparently she was a chow mixed with an idiot.
She once saw a lizard crawl under a tock and spent the next two years watching the rock, waiting for it to come out.
She tore her ACL chasing a squirrel and was too dumb to realize that when she was injured she should probably not get up and run around the vet's office.
She and the neighbor dog were mortal enemies. The neighbor dog was a 10 pound pomeranian and she was a 50 pound moron.

 

Woke up this morning to gentle nibbling on my ear. This would have been fine if the nibbler had been a cute lady human whom I had previously given the go-ahead to wake me up with ear-nibbling.

It wasn't. It was Shorty. GAAAAAAAAAAH STAHP

Both of the cats are lovebiters. Cyclops actually bites (and his favorite way to do it is get a little fold of skin on the back of your hand and chomp down on it like a staple puller), but Shorty just opens her mouth and just kind of... puts her teeth on you.

 

I love all these idiots so much

 

i just watched the cat attempt to climb on the back of the spinny chair which, of course, spun so she ended up clinging on for dear life, then claw her way up and off onto the side board only to jump down onto the tv stand, land on some mail and tokyo drift off the other end.

graceful :')

 

This is a little hard to describe, but:

My partner's family has a bunch of cats and a bunch of cat towers. One of tiers on one of the towers has a hole in it. The Black Cat, who is very plump and usually not particularly acrobatic, sometimes sees his tail hanging off the edge of the tier through the hole and then goes after it. It usually ends up with him hanging upside down most of the way through the hole, his tail still out of reach above him, hanging on for dear life. It is very funny to watch. I might have a video somewhere I can share.

 

@Sol when my cat, Abby, was still on the edge of being a kitten, she loved to play "big game hunter" w our big dog, Peter. Peter did not appreciate the cat coming out of nowhere and pouncing on him, which made the game even more fun for Abby. (Peter dislikes cats, and so naturally he's a magnet for them) and one time, Abby forgot to put her paws out in front of her when she was pouncing, so she just kinda bounced off his ribs head first. then, in true cat fashion, she got up, shook her head, and walked away like nothing had happened

(crap I might have told that story before on this thread but it's one of my faves)

@Saro pls do I would love to see this majestic doofus

 

New Pupper stories from today:

1. Apparently a few days ago the pupper picked up a clod of clay bigger than his head from the front yard, carried it into the living room, and stood there looking proud.
2. He chewed up the back cover of our copy of Warbreaker and dragged Mistborn: The Final Empire into his dog bed. Sibling told him he had excellent taste in books.
3. Elliot, our oldest dog, does not like the young whippersnapper who won't get off his lawn. He's taken to stealing a great big cow ear that someone bought for the puppy to chew on, dropping it somewhere, and then waiting about five feet away for either the puppy or Missy to try to take the unattended toy. If they do, he jumps on them. I told him he's a jerk and guilty of enticement.

 

when we first adopted my brother's dog nym (border collie/greyhound mutt, very smart and very energetic) we ordered pizza, because we'd driven about two hours each way to the shelter where we picked her up and we were tired. look away for one minute, and the puppy has nabbed two pieces and eaten them before we could stop her :P she was fine, but that was the day we learned not to leave people food where she could get to it and thought she could get away with it

 

Somebody, for reasons I'm not clear on, got a big orange plastic bucket/tub thing and put it in the middle of the coffee table. Now 75% of the time when I go in the living room, it is full of Zeus.

 

If I fits, I sits! :D

 

The weird thing is the other cat barely does the fits -> sits thing at all, but Zeus...

 

Ooooooooh tuxedofluff! What a smile!

(Also no kitty, don't get on the stove, that can be dangerous!)

 

He's not just on the stove. We had a burner and its drip tray out to clean them. He is in the top of the stove. He fit (well, not really), so he sit.

I cracked up laughing so hard that everyone else in the apartment came out to see what was going on. He seemed very confused about what the big deal was.

 

The other day, my cat Fuzzbutt came up to me while I was making dinner. He set a bug at my feet (pretty sure carpet beetle) and looked up at me expectantly.

It was around the time I usually feed him for the evening, too. Either that or he was appalled that there was this bug in the house and he wanted me to take care of it.

I spent five minutes or so having no idea why he'd brought it to me, so I kept encouraging him to eat it. Because: dude, you used to be a mouser. Just eat the damn bug. But no. My cat thinks deadly flowers are candy, and leaves non poisonous bugs alone.

 

all of these cats are perfect lil jerkfaces and I love them