shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Aggressive?

 

I want yo+u to+ keep yo+ur pro+ngs o+ff the grub, saltfo+rbrains.

 

-eyes this strange not-troll suspiciously. i'll fight you. gun or no gun. fucking try me-

 

"Human young are born helpless and weak. They need constant care. It's only after a few years of life that they gain any resilience.

She points at the grub. "It's already an accomplished predator at what seems to be a very young age."

 

"Don't worry, I have no interest in the creature and plan to leave it alone." She looks up at the strange troll. "Haven't I seen you about these parts? But younger ..."

 

That isn't a measure of aggressiveness. It's a measure of parental care. Trolls need caretakers, but they are much less reliant, yes? Would you say...

-She pauses to tap into fourth wall knowledge.-

Would you say humans are inherently more aggressive because they open their eyes after birth, as opposed to kittens?

 

-visibly calms some-

Hrmph. So+ lo+ng as yo+u mean the grub no+ harm yo+u'll have no+ tro+uble with me. Maybe. That depends, ho+nestly? I've been to+ld I'm "incurably bitchy and fighty".

As fo+r kno+wing me...I can't see ho+w that wo+uld be. As I said to+ the yello+w haired o+ne o+f yo+ur so+rt I've o+nly ever seen o+ne o+f yo+u o+nce befo+re.

 

Anhelia shrugs her shoulders. "You have a point, sir robot. Perhaps I am allowing my knowledge of their species' infamous murderousness to affect my judgment."

"'Bitchy and fighty' could describe me quite well also. They even killed me and I came back." She grins. "As to the familiarity, perhaps it was a relative of yours? She called herself, what was it, Porridge or something like that. I didn't get why that name."

 

What is a relative? Do+ yo+u mean a descendant? Or an ancesto+r I guess. Given a certain friend o+f mine I can't really strike that o+ff the raised rectangular repo+sito+ry surface. Either way I do+n't kno+w an ancesto+r o+r descendant o+f mine named "Po+rridge". That's just silly. There are to+o+ many letters in that. Maybe Po+ridg?

It's clo+se to+ my name admittedly. Po+rrim. Which is a co+mmo+n eno+ugh name fo+r tro+lls with mo+ther grubs fo+r a lusus.

 

"That was the name! Porrim. She was young, though, not so serious. As tall as you. As I said, very similar in appearance. Striking resemblance." She steps closer, and sniffs the air. "Yes. Smelled the same too. Are you sure you don't have a twin or however it would work for your kind? Or perhaps it's you from another timeline. We've seen that here. Look at all the Cronuses."

 

I feel I sh9uld intr9ject 6ef9re this y9uth is ind9crinated with t9xic Alternian 9r 6ef9ran ideals with regards t9 their aut9n9my, vi9lent nature 9r lack there9f. Tr9lls are n9t an inherently vi9lent species and it is painfully 96vi9us that this p99r wiggler has internalized s9me extremely harmful rhet9ric, judging fr9m their 9veraggressive 6ehavi9ur and disregard f9r the feelings 9f 9thers. T9 pr9ve this p9int, I cite my f9rmer h9me planet 9f the previ9usly menti9ned 6ef9rus, where casteism and su6jugati9n 9f warmer6l99ds t99k place in a su6tle, pacifistic, yet much m9re insidi9us fashi9n.

This l9ve6ird-end-feathers extremely well int9 my next discussi9n p9int, in fact. While t9 raise this gru6 in the Alternian meth9d w9uld 6e a crime against its inn9cent sensi6ilities, the 6ef9rus meth9d (9therwise kn9wn as 'culling') is argua6ly much m9re danger9us t9 a gru6. Under the 6ef9ran meth9d, this gru6 w9uld never 6e treated as a fully mature individual capa6le 9f making their 9wn inf9rmed decisi9ns 9r having any s9rt 9f 9pini9n whats9ever. I feel @The Dolorosa is danger9usly cl9se t9 accidentally c9ntri6uting t9 this system 9f 9ppressi9n.

As a victim 9f 6ef9ran culling myself, I 6elieve it w9uld 6e 6est f9r this gru6 if I were t9 take it under my metaph9rical flapstalk and raise it t9 6e the faithful and studi9us pupil it c9uld 6e.

 

-is honestly not that weirded out by the sniffing. weirder shit happened in the caverns. weirder, gayer shit-

I'm no+t even sure what a twin is? At all? I suppo+se she co+uld be a yo+unger me tho+ugh. That's certainly po+ssible given my afo+rementio+ned friend. A time traveler and o+ur culture's psycho+po+mp.

 

Oh

Oh my go+o+dness. Is that...OH! Yo+u lo+o+k just like Kanny when he was yo+unger...Lo+o+k at yo+u in yo+ur darling little sweater...Sadly I wasn't able to+ knit o+ne fo+r him. He did have several lo+vely po+ncho+s tho+ugh.

 

Excuse me, 6ut I w9uld appreciate it if y9u did n9t refer t9 me in such a c9ndescending and infantilizing t9ne. I am a fully gr9wn adult wh9 is wearing this a6surd garment as a fav9r t9 a friend, n9t a wiggler wh9se 9nly purp9se is t9 stand ar9und quietly and l99k cute. #I c9uld als9 d9 with9ut the uncreative nicknames

 

There yo+u go+. Sassing me in the same lo+ngwinded fashio+n. No+t quite the same really, but it's similar eno+ugh. Go+d. He'd be mo+rtified to+ see yo+u. In a go+o+d way tho+ugh.

 

C9uld y9u at least pretend t9 take my c9ncerns seri9usly, instead 9f 6rushing them 9ff in an inf9rmal way that 6elies y9ur 6latant jade privilege? Thanks.

 

"I think I met this person. Rather bitter. Says things like 'see you later, it's murder time' before vanishing. Claims to be semi immortal. And to have an evil boss."

 

*Popcorns.*

 

That so+unds like her. She swears she do+esn't have a name so+ I've taken to+ calling her Samira. Slapped me fo+r that befo+re disappearing. I o+f co+urse to+o+k it as a sign that I needed to+ be mo+re adamant abo+ut the name. She grudgingly accepts it no+w. I think.

The privilege o+f having been fo+rced under the surface to+ care fo+r grubs save tho+se which the Empire deemed unwo+rthy o+f life? Quite. I suppo+se yo+u are right tho+ugh, I'm being rude. So+rry. It's just been so+ lo+ng since he's been that yo+ung.

 

cannibalism isn't really that bad of a thing really

i had deep fried quartermaster just the other day

i've got ass burgers, too