shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

*smirks* (No, not on Netflix. On my bed.)

(Or rather, in this case, yours.)

 

still havwent gotten an ansvwer about that bone dick.

*Itch does not notice she is interrupting a moment and wouldn't care either way.*

 

[WELL. That's a thing.]
[Papyrus tries to play it cool, hiding his boggled delight behind pedantic comments]
(BUT THAT'S NOT NETFLIX AND CHILL... THAT'S PAPYRUS AND HOT!!! PRACTICALLY THE OPPOSITE!)

WHY WOULD I HAVE A BONE DICK???
AND DON'T MAKE A BONER JOKE! I PROMISE, I'VE HEARD THEM ALL!


((for real tho I'm about to head off and watch Leverage, so if I don't respond, feel free to consider it a fade to black))

 

cause the other guy doesnt havwe legs! you gotta havwe SOMETHING dowvn there.

 

*smirks* I think you're actually right about that.

 

Don't need legs to have an array, squishy! Shall we take yours off to prove the point? :D

 

last time someone tried, i got a newv set of teeth to add to my collection. its a tooth collection. i dont havwe it vwith me.

 

Oh, can you find teeth in me? Good luck with that!

 

or i could just piss in your circuits! dont you robot fucks start sparking and shit vwhen you get vwet?

 

[Cackling. Apparently sourceless cackling, weren't there mouths earlier? Where are the mouths?]
Horns, brightspark, darling, if a few sparks bothered me I'd've gone to pieces billions of years ago!

 

maybe there just vwasnt ENOUGH piss.

 

[Amused:] You're more than welcome to try, squishy, but don't be surprised if you get bit, hey?

 

up your ass.

 

*She punches Slick in the tit. Hard.*

*Itch opens up her mouth to reveal her dual rows of crooked, jagged steak knife teeth.*

 

"That's good to know, Averagius." Ford smiles. "If you're happy here, that's all that matters. But other worlds are full of all kinds of life, and lots of things to do, that we don't have here unless we create them, and if you someday decide that you would like to live in a world that isn't a dream, I'm relieved to know that's possible for you."

"I'm not. It takes most sapient cultures a long time to come up with that notion, even though it seems obvious once you've internalised it, and if there aren't a lot of people capable of harassing you, it might take you a while to figure out what's even happening when you do get harassed. Plus..." Ford sighs. "Different people react to having a lot of power in different ways. As you're all too well aware, some of them become assholes. But some, more sensitive people, who become powerful...start looking around and seeing all the things they're capable of fixing that they weren't before, and maybe there aren't many people who can. At that point they start to feel responsible for everyone who can't do these things, and then they become vulnerable to the kind of harassment that comes with people starting to think of you as the solution to all their problems. You get downtrodden, and everyone else gets lazy. This is the other reason I don't want people in the household pestering you for wishes; it's not just bad for you, it's bad for them. Of course there are probably things we won't be able to think of another solution for when it's time to deal with certain of our enemies, but I really want to try and minimise reliance on that sort of thing, so that you don't get to feeling like a servant and we don't lose our creativity."

"The only real meaning of the word 'god' is 'a being that people worship'." Ford shrugs. "People worship anything they think they can influence to help them--or not to hurt them--from thought-forms they actually created themselves, to nature spirits and their ancestors, to the multiverse itself. And that gets down to the whole question of rights again, too. It takes most cultures a long time to come to the consensus that there are things people ought to be able to expect other people to respect, because Nature itself doesn't respect much of anything. It's not like there's any cosmic power out there that actively dispenses justice. Without technology--and I do include magic in that, so long as it's reliable--people are at the mercy of the elements themselves, and people expect bad things to happen to them, and get used to the idea of accepting their fate, even when it's another sentient being dishing it out instead of the atmosphere. And since they ascribe ultimate power to what they worship, and the imposition of power by force, they expect their own cultures to mirror the hierarchy of the universe, which is actually, of course, an illusion."

Ford considers this. "It ought to be possible to pathwork from this dreamspace to the dimension that Mala is in..."

 

*svwims ovwer to @Itch*

 

*She'll punch a fish if she has to. Don't test her.*

*Haha, who are we kidding. Itch would punch a fish for the hell of it.*

 

"Stanford. We can't actually fix everything, you know." Valiska shakes her head. "If you ever become a god, you will be one of the ones who enslaves himself to the multiverse out of an overarching sense of responsibility. Or you would, if you weren't bound to me. It's apparently my job to keep you out of trouble." She stands on tiptoe and kisses Ford's nose.

"No," she says. "We are not pathworking through a dreamspace that Bill inhabits. Let Primus take care of this."

 

Ford pouts, but only briefly. "I see your point, Lise," he says, with a sigh. "I do see your point."

 

*is a mollusk, and safe*