shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Ford groans. "You did it, didn't you?"

 

I died if that's what you are asking. I certainly didn't attempt to.

 

vwhat part of 'boys are stupid and if i had my vway theyd all be dead, much less in my squares' dont you people understand?? do i need to make a chart?

 

(Stage notes: Deadpan)
Because we're friendly, forthcoming, and helpful people who can't bear to see people in unnecessary difficulties.

 

"Dude, you're the one with rectocranial inversion. How do you manage that with those lightning bolt horns?" Dipper shakes his head. "If you're going to try and insult my walking dissonance of a kismesis, try to do better than that, because right now the clowns are funnier than you."

 

And yet you are still with them, and they are, miraculously, not dead.

 

in the future, can you freeloaders not make pailing jokes about me? thats gross.

 

"You didn't do the thing? With the demon?" Ford raises one eyebrow.

 

Dipper, kid, leave the trolling to the trolls, hm?
A better response might've been "Let me rephrase that for you: She doesn't care."

 

theyre servwing a purpose, thats vwhy.

calm dowvn! you aint some pissgrub, you can handle a little raunchy humor.

 

youre vweird.

 

Keep telling yourself that.

 

remember vwho youre talking to, punk. this is MY gang and i call the shots. and i say stop bitching about the sex jokes.

 

i manage. and you vwant me to insult a bitch? dont underestimate me.

 

Dipper shrugs. "You're right. They probably didn't understand the words I used."

 

There are creatures here, but none of my fellows. They aren't beasts, the creatures. Or any of the other monsters we had found in the labyrinth. They are difficult to describe. Crawling about and mewling, they give the impression of infants. They lack arms and legs proper, however. Instead they have thick, muscled tails and fledgling tentacles. At least what I presume to be fledgling tentacles. There is something very familiar and comforting about these creatures. They've little wings which are dear to me. Like seeing a lover's eyes in a child.

If you are speaking of my gods then hardly. I've not had the chance. I partook of the Yharnam blood to extend my life when I suffered a deadly injury, knowing of its regenerative properties. I traveled deeper into the city and was poisoned. Then I died after my supply of the blood ran out. I awoke, quite literally, here in this place. I'm still painfully human, save for the occasional spurt of beastliness. That is entirely my fault for taking the blood, however.

 

Ford winces. "I'm so sorry. And...I'm sorry I said that, too."

 

As I said it is my fault. I did not have to take the blood or venture so far, but I did out of academic curiosity. Though, to be fair, the entire city is wrought with violence. The amazing thing is that I lasted as long as I had.

Your condolences are appreciated, however.

 

PSSSSSST SWEETGILLS I WASN'T EVEN TALKIN TO YOU FOR THE LAST HOWEVER MANY MINUTES BUT IF YOU MISS ME THAAAAAAAT MUCH

BUT IT'S SO COZY HERE :C

I AM VERY SORRY THAT YOU FEEL THIS WAY AND I WILL LIKE TOTALLY NOT DO IT AGAIN SWEETY. NO HARD FELSIES AYE?

WHAT CAN I SAY WE JUST GOT THAT SAVIOR COMPLEX...

PSSSSSSSSSST INKTHORN. PSSSSST. YOU ARE RUINING MY FUN. HOW DARE.
<3<

NO DON'T YOU SEE MISTRESS ITCH HAS SUCH A GENEROUS SOUL SHE IS JUST INCAPABLE OF NOT BLESSING LESSER BEINGS WITH HER RADIANCE.

KAY. CAN I START THE KILLING JOKES THEN?

AW LET HIM HE'S TRYING SO HARD :P

OOOOOO I CAN HARDLY WAIT.

*SNICKERS*

 

ding ding ding.