So I'm making a Gamebook.

Discussion in 'Make It So' started by Ouija, Oct 2, 2016.

  1. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

    It's for a Halloween "create to adopt" contest and it's why I asked about javascript yesterday night (I figured it out on my own after a bit of hammering).

    Things I've done so far for it:

    • Grabbed what should have been a defunct theme code for a biography page on Tumblr and edited it to fit the story.
    • Recreated a song by copying some sheet music found online, translating it to my music program, putting it into a .mid format and then transferring the .mid to .mp3
    • Have a quarter of the actual game's substance done
    http://textbasedadventurestory.tumblr.com/

    I'm hesitant to change the font size of the theme any further in fear of borking up the code (It's size 7-8 from what used to be a 6-7), but none of the colors I use for a font color that reads better works. To make up for it (and to save people on mobile) I'll post the story in text for people entering the contest. The links lead to the group the contest is part of (Kintaurs), my deviantart (yaaaaay), and the adopt I'm applying for.

    The actual game will be much more readable. At the moment it's black on white, 12pt font. At the end of the game I'll make a credits page to attribute who wrote the original sheet music that I tore apart as well as the program I used to make the game, but I was curious as to what people thought of it so far (if you aren't mobile). The creation has to be all mine, but I'd love to hear suggestions on what people would like to see.

    Unfortunately I'm not a javascript master, I don't know how to make a "multiple outcomes" story, so you, the player character, will end up "dead" a lot so I don't break the code. Unless I'm able to parse the .js tutorial jargon, of course.
     
    • Like x 2
  2. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    Screenshot_2016-10-03-17-23-17.png

    I think this is not quite how it's supposed to be?
     
  3. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

    • Like x 2
  4. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    It worked until you memed me. I no longer have the option to swim, is that where the story currently cuts off?
     
  5. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

    It's where it currently cuts off, yes. I have until Halloween to make this, so I'm just fucking around making various paths.

    [11:24] MP: its easy to set up but also easy to tangle the code up in "key words"
    [11:25] MP: words in single brackets are non-choice paths and can be used for flavor text
    [11:25] PB: YEAH
    [11:25] PB: I SAW THAT I LIKE IT
    [11:25] MP: double brackets are choice paths and destroy prior links
    [11:25] MP: so like
    [11:25] MP: if you get too far into one path
    [11:25] MP: you end up ruining the second path
    [11:25] MP: thats why the dead ends are kept short​

    So basically where it makes a joke? That's a path on its own. It's where I went "I'm too tired to write more" and paused.
     
    • Like x 1
  6. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    I can confirm that the flavor text options works, as did the actual choices.
     
  7. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

    Okay, but any critique? Input?
     
  8. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    For that, I'll need to wait for my spoons to return from the war. I've got this thread watched so I'll get pings for responses.
     
    • Like x 1
  9. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

    Okay, thank you so much! Knowing it works on mobile is a relief (especially since I know exactly zero javascript and was hoping my placing of the game in the custom code was correct).

    Shame you can't listen to the song, though since you're mobile.
     
  10. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

  11. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    playing now, I apologize beforehand because I'm the sort of person who plays through every path -

    The first thing I would say is that you should add more content to the initial split - I don't mind if future paths dead end easily, but I like the first one in the game to have some content for either side that allows me further choices. It makes the game feel less like a "pick the right path to succeed" game and more of a meaningful decisions game. Yes, even if there's actually only one path to success.

    There's an error where you say at first that the cottage door is unlocked, and then when you run back to it, it says the door is rotting off its hinges.

    I'm not familiar with what a Kintaur is, I assume that's contest-specific?

    Overall it's pretty good! The music is extremely atmospheric in a good way, I can very much imagine the light flickering in time with it.
     
  12. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

    I'm not sure how that's an error? When the door's originally unlocked, you push it open and it falls off the hinges. It rotted off, and in the heat of the moment you forgot it fell off the frame.

    As for the "more paths" thing, I've gotten mixed reviews. People have told me it's enough, people have told me they want more. I don't want to make it a slog to get to the end but I don't want to make it feel incomplete.

    My current solution is "write more, but not in the game" so atm I'm writing the little girl's diary.

    Kintaurs are a closed species, actually. I put the credits on the "home page" where you can click to the group.
     
  13. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    ...I managed to miss that somehow. Whoops.

    And it's really only that first branch that I have an issue with - the second branch, between the cottage and just following the path, feels more like a meaningful first choice, so perhaps shuffle the order in there somewhere?
     
  14. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

    The first branch is mostly a "do you want to continue down into the spooky woods or do you wanna be a baby and go to the light" and a non-essential path to begin with. Changing that order wouldn't make sense, but unfortunately I don't know how to work it out to feel more complete.
    Originally you die if you go the right path, but I made it nonlethal and you meet the ghost of the father, angry that you're trying to interfere but ultimately not harming you. He attacks you once you go back to the cottage.
     
  15. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    Ah, see, that is meaningful! when I played it it was still "you fall down a gully and die" for some reason
     
  16. Ouija

    Ouija Nani the fuck?

    Not sure why, but it could have been due to you not restarting before playing the final product
     
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