Halloween is evil

Look, I get it. For a lot of you Halloween is a fun day that's been whitewashed with candy. But do you know the real story of Halloween? Do you realize it's against God?

I'm not a teacher so I'll just give it to you straight. Halloween is a pagan holiday. The original idea was that people would wear masks to ward away evil spirits, that's where the idea of wearing costumes comes from. The idea of giving out candy (probably a Jewish concept) is an attempt to hide the fact that the holiday has its basis in satanism.

So if you're thinking about "celebrating" Halloween, think about it first. What would Jesus think?

 

The Morrígan is actually Satan?! HOLY SHIT. HOW COULD ANYONE THAT LOVES WHISKEY ON THIS DAY BE EVIL THOUGH.

 

Wow for real? This is a serious topic please fuck off with your bullshit. Halloween is not a game.

 

I AM BEING SERIOUS. Halloween and Samhain have a tightly intertwined history. HAVE I BEEN WORSHIPING SATAN ALL ALONG???

 

Yes, that's the point I'm making. Celebrating Halloween is literally devil worship.

 

Oh nooo. What will I tell Lugh. Unless he is Satan too. And Bríghid. Is May Day actually just Satan with a bush?

gasp

 

Nothing you said made sense, but you can still follow the path God laid out for you. I believe in you!!!

 

I must start stuffing wafers in my mouth immediately.

 

Gotta start voring jesus so that I may be ssaved from how terrible halloween is,,,,

 

wow, i thought that the horrible diarrhea i get on halloween was because i keep eating too much candy

i never would have thought it was because i was unknowingly allowing satan to fuck me in the ass

thanks, butch holiday, this makes halloween a lot more interesting!

and kinky

shit, that explains the rise of all those sexy halloween costumes

 

so youre telling me i can spit in the face of god by stuffing my face with kitkats

 

the devil can buttfuck me as much as he wants as long as i can keep having my reese's cups

 

Finally a way I can seduce the devil without putting in any effort

 

hail satan!

 

Step up your game, weenies. Your daddy 4chan would be so disappointed in you.

At least spam porn again, or go timecube on us. This is just lazy.

 

Eh, it's fun.

 

but i am having fun.

 

I don't think it's possible to 'worship' something while unaware of it or actively uninterested in it. putting on masks and costumes and running around being weird for a night is not the same thing as attempting to scare away demons with your fearsome aspect. also, wtf, if this was 'satanist' why would anyone be trying to scare demons AWAY. that seems counterproductive?

but hey, if worship doesn't require any intent or awareness to be valid, that'd explain why so many churchgoers are complete jerkasses on all the other days of the week.

 

This is fair.

Still, it's just kind of disappointing when someone attempts to troll but does a bad job at it? It's like someone threatening to ruin your life, only for their big plan to turn out to be a bag of burning dog poo on my step. It's not great, but it's still kind of a let down.

 

hale sultana

the healthiest raisin