shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Ford sighs. "At one point he was calling you Mistress," he says, "and from my point of view, that's definitely hitting on you. Even if he was joking and being a douche, it's incredibly inappropriate and if I didn't have my arms full of wiggler and you weren't shutting him down so well..."

"Dualscar," Ford says, "you are cordially invited to go fuck yourself."

 

*It's too late. The wiggler stirs, cracking a yawn which displays a surprisingly toothy maw for a kid less than a month old.*

 

"Language, Stanford."

 

Valiska holds some raw meat up above the yawn.

"Have you noticed that most of these kids know more swears than he does?"

 

"Not if you count the ones from dimensions they've never visited."

 

Religion and tradition. "We must preserve our best and brightest for the days to come," more or less. We interpreted that as a command to bring back from death those deemed worthy. "The days to come" appears often in our scripture, and refers to the prophesied end of days when the Gods return to walk among mortals. The Selith take it to mean that they should just store the bodies, ready to revive should that day come. In Telgar, they store the souls only, in the great Library. There is much disagreement as to what the command originally meant.

 

I'm glad it's not about me. You always used to tell me that, too. "Angela, it's not about you." But it always feels like it is.

 

Why yes, she did! She is quite good at that getting-around-to-things business. From my experience, one couldn't grab the soul fast enough after death. Me? I pull a bit on the fade and warp it around the freshly dead body, either moving bits or simply making a spirit version of the deceased.

In the necropolii they tend to ah, keep their dead around. They're of the opinion that when one dies, they just go into the fade and become a spirit. I never understood that, but it's as plausible as anything in this crazy world. They actually force these spirits, simply local spirits drawn to the mass amount of death kept within their cities or the actual spirit-spirits of the dead, into bodies and mobilize them to protect their cities or strike at their enemies.

The people of Nevarra are strange.

 

Because it wasn't about you.

Pretty sure that's called depression, but you're the doctor.

 

[Look at these giant robots, cooing over a flower that may as well be microscopic comparatively. Nerds.]

 

Right Okay Considering I Dont Actually Care About 'Facial Disfigurement And Unjustified Superiority Complex' And The Wiggler Seems To Not Be In Immediate Danger Of Dying Im Gonna Fuck Off Now Bye.

 

Are you sure it's not just me being self-centered and dramatic again? You said that too.

 

How incredible. And a very heavy responsibility for those that came to follow. Was it worth it, for you? Being brought back?

Oh, you love them, don't lie. I bet you'd love to get a tour of the Grand Necropolis, horrible scandal or no.

 

Also that, mostly depression.

 

A Tevinter necromancer wandering in the Grand Necropolis? Maker bless us all, they'd probably declare war.

 

vwhat part of 'i havwe no interest vwhatosevwer in your foul-mouthed brat' DO YOU PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND.

 

No! yes

 

Well, excuse me for having a life full of depressing responsibilities.

 

The part where you called her your mistress. And are just generally a skeevy asshole.

 

Right? It'd be exciting! We could have another war, and then while we were at it we could go conquer to Kocari Wilds or some such ridiculous thing.

[He grins.] I knew it.