The Non-Dudebro's Guide to the Apocalypse

spawned from a tangent in tungle.tots about how various sorts of people could contribute to a post-apocalypse society (disabled peeps having useful bits of medical info to share from taking care of themselves, SCA types smithing tools and weapons, etc)

i will attempt to round up quotes of everything from the other thread!

 

when I get worried about the apocalypse, I remember that I can shoot a bow and theoretically stitch wounds. plus, I have some farming experience. I'm useful!!!

 

OKAY THAT SHOULD BE EVERYTHING
sorry if i missed any!!

 

I just want to weigh in with something a friend of mine brought up a while back. If an apocalypse happens 99% of us, no matter how well we think we're prepared, are not remotely prepared. The other 1% are amish and they'll be just fine.

 

I would be nigh-useless in an apocalyptic scenario--I don't have much relevant knowledge, I'm physically weak, my immune system is terrible (woo, selective IGA deficiency), and I have the (IRL) social skills of a leaky trash bag. I'm pretty smart, but most of my smarts are in the language area--the written language area, not the spoken one--and in Art Bullshit.

One skill I do have that could be potentially useful: I'm really fucking good at differentiating colors, even very similar ones. It helps to have comparisons, yes, but if, say, I was told "the light pink berries are safe to eat, the darker pink berries are highly poisonous," I could gather a bunch of berries from various bushes and more than likely figure out which ones were safe. And I'm often very good at remembering those color differences. (I think largely in pictures and video, essentially.)

 

heh, reminds me of an icebreaker for one of my college classes. the class was about genre, and the prof picked zombie fiction as the case study we'd read in, so his icebreaker the first day of class was "give us your name and what skills you have that could be useful in case of a zombie apocalypse"

i can crochet. i majored in electrical and computer engineering, so you'd think i'd have some useful electrical knowledge to maybe jury-rig a power grid but uh. realistically? i can make you a postapocalypse hat.

(we also had a knitter, so the prof quipped something about how we could team up to design the hybrid-knit-crochet fashion line of the apocalypse XD)

 

Don't even begin to sell yourself short there. The ability to read, write, and understand complex concepts is one of the most useful skills you can have. When the world goes up in smoke and there are no more teachers and schools to pass on complicated, society improving knowledge, we're still going to have books. A generation from now when we've wiped out the problem and have started to recover, the only information we have from the old world is going to be from books. There's a shit ton of information in books that the average dudebro can't access because they read at an 8th grade level.

 

Huh. That's actually a really good point! Thanks, yo.

(The only issue for me would be surviving long enough...:P)

 

same tho
i faint at the sight of blood, or even if people DESCRIBE things gorily enough.

 

that's what living in groups is for! the people who are good at weapons will protect you, the ones who are good at medicine will keep you healthy!

i'd... make you a hat???

 

you will keep us warm. this is important.

 

maybe not quite on topic but thread reminds me of some of my favorite movies where catastrophic event happens and dudebro is not involved, and is more about regular folks just getting on with their lives. all are highly recommended and will hit you hard with feels.

• perfect sense

Spoiler: synopsis

A chef and a scientist fall in love as an epidemic begins to rob people of their sensory perceptions. great show of human adaptation to crisis and a bittersweet love story. main guy character is a bit of a garbage baby at first.

• the last days

Spoiler: synopsis

A mysterious epidemic spreads across the planet. Humanity develops an irrational fear of open spaces that causes death within seconds. Soon, the world population is trapped inside. in spanish!

• the road

Spoiler: synopsis

In a dangerous post-apocalyptic world, an ailing father defends his son as they slowly travel to the sea. tw: suicide ideation

• the last survivors

Spoiler: synopsis

A teenage girl fights to protect the last working well in a drought-stricken valley from a greedy water baron.

 

I think I would be most useful as a kind of naturalist, telling you what plants are what and which ones you can eat and how to grow things well. Maybe my biological and ecological education would help in planning crops and gardens :b

I'm also pretty good with blood and such, so I might be a good assistant for the more medically-trained types.

 

I know the basics of knitting, and weaving cloth/carpets. Also, I'm really really good at visuializing complex mechanical things and figuring out how they work, kinda like a computer simulating a thing.

 

Oh, i also know the basics of archery and computer coding, and am a fair gardener. Basically, I know the basic jumping off points for a lot of skilled proffessions... but am not actually skilled in them.

 

ooh ooh, I can kinda sew!!!
and I can cook pretty well
on a fire too, because girl scouts. anyone want apocalypse eclairs?