a thread for wonderful terrible stupid brilliant ridiculous insults and exclamations. example one: the thread title. overheard just now -- @Vast Derp yelling at his nail stencils.
and now i can stop wondering about how much swearing is allowed on this forum. XD (like, i get the idea that this place has No Rules but... actually seeing the lack of a particular rule in action helps.)
"Gosh fucking darn it" has always been a personal fave. I also like the ring of "fuck me with a rusty bucket".
Fuck (insert pronoun here) with a rusty spork. Muffinfucker Fuck all the way off Please fornicate in an outward direction What the actual scientifically proven and peer reviewed fuck.
My brother and I, in an effort to avoid my mom getting annoyed at constant swearing have adopted random-noun-as-insult "You leek" is a definit favorite, so much so that it has adopted a consistent meaning of someone who is bad at doing something in a particularly clueless way. "Du Lauch/Lauchine" in the original language rendition.
"Half baked potato" is the one I use at work, where Cussing Is Not Allowed. "Solo left shoe" or "Curdled protein shake" are other good ones. If I am fond of the person I am intending to insult, they are a "perfect angel princess baby," where princess is a gender-neutral term.
i'm pretty fond of calling people stupid rossi when angry, to compare them to arguably the most useless character on criminal minds, and they're not even the (edit) average rossi, but a stupid one. i also love yelling WHATS YOUR PROBLEM and then asking if they need to talk it out at people who say something hateful and 100% meaning it because it tends to throw them off balance something fierce.
door stopper is my favorite door related one actually becaue generally useless force-absorbing and I stub my toe on them a lot?
when i'm dealing with The Public and can't swear, my go-to epithet is 'biscuit'. it's short for 'shitbiscuit' but employer types don't need to know that.
That person probably read Dragonlance at some point; I'm pretty sure that's where that one originated. A forum RP group I was in LOOOOOONG before I knew anyone I know now used to call each other "faceheads" as a fondsult.
To the tune of Frosty the Snowman: "Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck" (repeat as needed) "Water Temple levels of fuckery" "You, your actions, your hopes and dreams: all irrelevant. Even if you make yourself notable among humanity when the sun dies and consumes the earth you will be nothing but ashes and dust and the universe will go on without even pausing to mourn... You are a zit on an ass the size of God." Spoken with all the cold contempt an afab teen can muster when addressing the peer(s) who bullied it for ten years to the point of causing PTSD. I kind of feel bad for it now (and pretty much immediately after) because I try to pride myself on not lashing out in response to pain/am terrified of responding disproportionately and Becoming the Monster, but goddamn was it inspired and I am guiltily proud. Things spoken a video game (I like doing 'how droll' bored villain voices. Rocking at video games provides ample opportunities to practice): "Stars collapse in applause at the magnitude your failure."
Funnily enough, one of my favorite swear abominations is from an RP with my best friend...and yes, it was said by Karkat. It's "asscunt," by the way. "Dillweed" is pretty common in my household, and I'm very fond of "heck" as a minced oath, especially as a verb in contexts where one might otherwise use "fuck"--"Sorry, I hecked up," "That is so hecking stupid," etc. I use "hecked up" a lot, in particular.
