The Non-Dudebro's Guide to the Apocalypse

Nice thing about kintsupocalypse, as @kmoss noticed, is that our entire society would be people who will be conscientious about not misgendering anyone. (accidental misgendering is still likely bc so many of us have memory issues, but I imagine that's still a better deal than real life)

 

upsides to the apocalpyse: no one's gonna be a shit about your gender
unless dudebros try to invade, but then we fight them off

 

yeah, because in case of invasion I have permission to hit with prejudice

 

I'm just picturing us giving this long list of things the dudebros did that was wrong, ranging from trampling plants to misgendering while we whack them

 

All 5'1 of me attacking a guy thrice my size with an axe yelling 'BET YOU WISH YOU HAD PAINKILLERS NOW MOTHERFUCKERS'

Also I just remembered a story about some 15th century lady driving off an unwanted suitor by throwing her used menstrual rags at him :D

 

me, flailing angrily, "YOU SCARED MY CHICKENS YOU FUCKING JERK!!!"

also, that is an amazing story.

 

Ooh, can I be in the kintsugi apocalypse commune? I'm decently strong, my knees are kind of junk but my back is good and I am happy to lift/carry heavy things for people. On flatish terrain I can walk for basically forever, but if it gets too steep it starts being hard on my knees. I love writing longhand so I can keep records, I'm also really good at math so I could keep track of our resources and projected usage.

Also, I've been told I give really good hugs, and I'm always up for cuddling, so count me in on the cuddle piles. :D

 

It never ceases to amaze me how many people are freaked out by period blood. like??? it's blood? It's not inherently more gross than any other blood?
Which reminds me! Given the proper fabric, I can make cloth menstrual pads that don't feel like diapers seriously, menstrual pad people, idk wtf you're smoking but if you think i'm going to waddle around with an inch of cloth between my legs you've got another think coming. So when we inevitably run out feminine hygiene products, I got you covered. Oh, and I also know about herbal emmenagouges and abortificants, though I've only ever used them on myself and I bought the herbs in pill format, so I wasn't guessing at dosages or anything. (actually, now I think about it, I have a bunch of vaguely useful herb knowledge, but it's limited to the eastern US and is mostly theoretical because spoons.) I'm pretty sure the best part about an apocalypse (assuming it didn't turn everything into a desert wasteland) would be that I'd finally be able to use the skills/knowledge I've been hoarding all my life.


Also I really kind of want to write a story about a post-apocalyptic community based off this thread because of reasons.

 

after the first chaotic months, when everything gets more settled, we could totally have a food and medicine garden!

infection though would probably be a big risk. im thinking of back when antibiotics weren't used, some things were instafatal just because if you got an infection, you were screwed. and post apocalypse there might be completley different microbes in the air and stuff, so tried and true treatments might not work.

 

My philosophy would be flush everything out with moonshine or ice-cold water (in the winter) as soon as it happens, and cauterise everything you can. Might hurt like hell, but at least sepsis would be slightly less of a risk XD

 

Also I would point out that I am fucked in the apocalypse commune section, simply because I live in the UK and most of you guys are in the US or on that continent XDD

 

I'm lucky enough to live in a place where I'd probably be able to avoid the apocalypse. It's not like anyone's going to nuke Corsica.

 

-distressed mainland europe noises-

 

@PotteryWalrus & @raybot you could use raw honey, too! Not that I have a cupboard full or anything >.>
But anecdotally, raw honey of the non-Manuka variety has anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory properties. I've used it on like...everyday cuts/burns/scrapes, and aside from me getting everything sticky because I forgot to cover the honey with gauze, it seemed to work as well as neosporin.

 

@Boots we can use the honey to heal the beestings we got trying to harvest it :P (Unless we manage to subdue them with smoke first, ofc, but I'm not sure what kind of smoke is best for that kind of thing XD)

 

Oooh! I have (very) basic beekeeping skills!

 

if the apocalypse turns everything to desert y'all can find me out on a dune waiting for the great sand worm of arrakis to consume me

 

Nuclear war apocalypse would wipe out Seattle anyway -- we're not that far from the US Navy's missile sub base and that's a definite target.

 

Nuclear war apocalypse actually isn't caused directly by the missile damage or radioactive fallout, both of which are relatively localized, even with the size of the payload in modern weapons. The effect you have to worry about is nuclear winter. This is when enough fine particulates are thrown into the air that it causes global cooling, much like after the Toba eruption. Unfortunately climate change is a lot harder to deal with that a single catastrophic event. Most "apocalypse" scenarios people imagine are the sort of big boom everything breaks type, but more likely it will be a bunch of little things going wrong over a long period of time.

 

I also don't really think that global nuclear annihilation is TOO likely anymore, but I think the risk of smaller nuclear conflicts has gone up quite a bit. And yes, the people killed instantly is only a small proportion of the eventual deaths. We saw that in Hiroshima/Nagasaki and those were very small weapons. Although the power of nuclear warheads has actually been going down since the 50s; back then, you had very little accuracy and the bomb was going to be huge anyway. Now, you can expect to have the missile strike within a few dozen feet of the intended target, and anti-missile defense made everyone switch to a missile containing a bunch of smaller, independent warheads that would separate and go for different targets.

Talking about this at all makes me feel back in the 80s in class, and discussing it then, when it was the big fear uppermost in people's minds.