Purple Narcissist Dystopia/Flowers in the Atticro

oh lol sorry!!!!

 

actually stonus can be my trash son, he dreams of football glory and dances at greaser joints and tries to sell people his stupid inventions that don't work. he has a moirail named croord but they fight all the time. they actually both make stupid inventions kind of a lot. stonus' don't work and people get mad and throw things at him.

croord's do and that's WORSE because they tend to be REALLY DANGEROUS omg. it's been a slow week if he hasn't blown up the entire block at least twice. plus all that consorting with horrorterrors because when they suck up to him he believes them.

croord thinks that making really big inventions, the scarier the better, and discovering New Science Facts will get him laid, and also being smarter than everyone else (which he actually isn't because he's still a cronus). it's not very effective. but people throw less stuff at him than they do at his moirail because he has better guns.

they were going to sail around the world on a boat getting laid and looking for treasure and babes, but there is no treasure on this trash planet and all the babes are just as sad and narcissistic as they are. plus they couldn't stop fighting.

the scariest part of writing this is that I fucking love these characters in their original form and yet there was so very very little that I had to change.

 

have i mentioned venus is like 10 feet tall due to being a middle aged seadweller

 

look at this magnificent bastard

 

doin sprites

 

quick question yall for slick's sprite:

weesnaw

or covergirl?

 

Covergill looks like it matches the original pic better.

 

@Trashbiter

its Ya Boy

 

theres a risqué joke to be made here but im tired as balls and cant word it right

 

MY EDGY SON! THERE HE IS!

 

HOSPITALS

most cronuses learn to do basic medical care at home because the solitary actual doctor cronus gets all his information from ancient medical tracts that focus more on bad humors than hygiene

hes good if you need a rotten tooth pulled or a diseased limb amputated tho

 

in case it wasnt previously established (which it wasnt, so put your dukes up, johnny boy) oilslick is the ship name for yet another shitty pairing where slick gets Physical with yet another cronus whos way too old for him (and spoiler alert! the codger in question is none other than oily the oligarch himself). its basically just a crackship in My opinion, because of that fucking pairing name.

 

so oilslick is just a crackship bt slickscratch isnt huh...........i see how it Is

 

the trifecta is Complete

 

there not yet enough furry trash assholes in this.


Cronuzz will destroy everything you love but not before humping it first and then probably do it again after.

his People got him as a purebred house ornament and failed to consider that troll puberty is like 10,000 times worse than fucking chimps or lemurs and all that

they got tired of his shit and kicked him outside to go get hit by a car

he got his scars from someone throwing a boot at his head.

 

PUT ON SOME PANTS SHITTY FURRY CRONUS

 

he tried once.

got stuck and had to claw his way free

he never fully recovered from the traumatic experience

and neither did the pants

(RIP pants)

 

theres a thriving snuff film market that is more legal than the sale of hair grease

literally all you have to do to keep your uncomfortably sexual murder video from being taken down is emphasize/completely bullshit the wrongdoings of said cronus

Spoiler: gore

it leads to titles like 'LUSUS RAPE FETISHIST VWHO LITERALLY STOLE A GRUB AND FUCKED IT GETS TITS CUT OPEN'

EDIT: honestly they have an entire category dedicated to saturn executions because this fucker is so slow and deliberate about it

 

I'm officially naming manic pixie dream cronus pixie because I literally cannot think of anything else.