shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

I am one who wastes, but am never wasteful.

 

no! smashed, hammered, uhhhh...

*She blinks. Suddenly the concept of alcohol is disappearing back into the dark abyss it spontaneously appeared from, filled with the rest of her life in Cronustopia.*

 

Do you mean to say that you dislike my singing? I am inclined to feel most upset, now. Really. ; _ ;

The image through which you conceptualize my existence has been replaced to further reflect this most terrible feeling.

 

good! feel bad about your stupid gun self!

 

Shouldn't I be the one who feels upset? It was my singing you insulted after all.

Did you know that I sing after every kill, after I partake of the blood that spatters your fingertips as you fire me off at point blank range?

Of course, I speak in the general sense. Your hands are much too dirty to dirty your hands. If you ever see me in use, it will be the business end you're staring down. Cheers!

 

please! i could shoot someone no problem. vwithout evwen looking.

 

Pretty sure he means he won't let you use him specifically to shoot people. Which is kind of a weird boundary to set but it's whatever I'm not a gunformer the pit do I know about what's normal for them?

 

Perhaps with another revolver. I have standards, you know. >_>

 

if you vwanna lick blood, i got some dried bloody popcorn.

 

maybe ill touch you anyvways. get your precious shiny barrel ALLLLL greasy and grimy and dull, and you vwont be able to do anything about it, because you DONT HAVWE ANY ARMS.

 

anyone else think this kinda sounds like amputation porn dialogue? no one?

 

"He"? I'm surprised you'd ascribe personhood to an object such as myself, although I wouldn't object to any particular pronoun.

Popcorn...The staple of the wasteful ingrate who lazes about watching film in the stead of doing anything productive.

I am an arm. A firearm. Firearms have greater reach, you know. We'd make far superior prosthetic limbs, if you asked me.

 

I wouldn't recommend it.

 

wouldnt recommend what.

 

HAHA, NO ARM FUCKPISTOL.

 

"So the gun is evil but has standards. Good to know. And no, I don't need another gun, my old service pistol takes them down just fine …"

 

That's shapist and anti-monoformer!

You talk in a way that doesn't sound like a scripted response tree I'm pretty sure you're a person.

 

Of course, that isn't to say regular limbs don't have their uses. You need a hand to hold a gun after all.

 

I don't consider myself evil. I've always found myself on the side of Karma.

 

I'm afraid that the only way I can see a Genie revolver such as myself being inorganic is if one of your species were to birth one, and we're unlikely to find any volunteers.